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Spacefem.com is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

The big scary crazy feminists


My point is that feminist only seem to be arguing one side of the coin (equal wages) and not the other side (equal work) when it means that women will actually be asked to do the same thing as men. Please, start a movement that asks women to join male dominated professions. Pretty please.

My employer organizes workshops for children to become familiar with my STEM field, so they are more likely to choose that profession. They explicitly encourage girls to join. I'm very much in favor of this, as long as boys are equally encouraged as girls. I'm not a fan of trying to solve inequality with sexism.
by Aapje in Feminism
Wed Jul 29 10:17 AM

Little Free Library Robin Hood Road Trip

I have teeeeeeny tiny thing that needs finishing on mine so I can get it up. Unfortunately it involves a brief bit with the saw, and I'm so tired (from teaching nights) that I think it would be a bad idea. BUT! I will have time soon and I want mine up before schools start in the fall. by rowan in Random
Wed Jul 29 2:44 AM

Privilege isn't something you apologize for

My husband and I got married when gay marriage was IMPOSSIBLE in Kansas. Being gay rights activists, I mentioned to our friends that we were contemplating whether it was really right to get a legal marriage when not everyone could do it - maybe we should have just have the ceremony but sign no Kansas papers, as a symbol that the government should not be allowed to define what marriage is.

But my gay friends told me to get legally married. "Own it," said the guy next to me, "Whatever you can get in this world, and use it for good." It was brought up that if Marc and I saved on taxes by being married, that was more money I could donate to the cause of marriage equality! And really that's the story I think of when people get defensive about privilege. Yes I definitely did/still have straight privilege and that was an obvious case where I was about to benefit from it. I had the right to get married, whether I took it or not. I had the choice - that's a huge privilege, and there was no way for me to not have that choice, and there was no way for me to exchange it and give that privilege to my friends Tom & Mike even though they'd been together 20 years and Marc and I had stuck it out for barely two.
by spacefem in Feminism
Tue Jul 28 7:11 PM

How tired are you after work?

I'm exhausted while I'm at work and wide awake when I'm home. My job isn't physically demanding but it's monkey work that robots will be doing soon so my mind goes into bored-autopilot mode. I suppose that sounds harsh but that's my impression of the factory. I appreciate my job every day, as it is the most interesting and best paying I've held yet to date, but it's still a job.

If introversion and anxiety didn't drain me absolutely dry while I'm in public, interacting with my coworkers would keep me afloat because they're fun people. Cracking jokes and being silly helps a bit. Some days I can keep that up, other days I can only manage short bursts. But, no matter what, every exchange pares me down. Some days I'm a zombie until I walk out the door.
by Neko in Careers & Education
Tue Jul 28 5:46 PM

The Taylor Swift Nicki Minaj thing

Pot meet kettle.

That's the first thing I think of when I see one celeb going after another, especially when they're both at the pinnacle of privilege.

And they're both plugged into an industry that's pimping them out, an industry that doesn't really give a crap about them as long as they keep doing what they're told. These faux twitter battles are for publicity. by Aum in Feminism
Tue Jul 28 5:54 AM

Hola hermanas!

Awesome. I like Sonic 2 the most. It's the first one I played, so I know it like the back of my hand.
Oh, you must teach me! XD To me WFZ is ULTRA hard.
Hey, welcome. One of the guys in my dorm freshman year was from Chile - we loved his accent
Ah cool! But what was his accent like? Chileans tend to fake accents to impress foreigners. XD by Alex Hofstadter in New Members
Mon Jul 27 4:27 PM

Good Coursera classes or specializations?

I know people who have done some coursera things but not me specifically. But I don't know what ones, so... I did a MOOC through a different thing that was science of cooking, which would have been better if I hadn't been in the middle of writing a thesis at the time. idek why I thought it would be a good idea to do that course, I didn't have the time. by rowan in Careers & Education
Mon Jul 27 10:40 AM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Jul 27 3:00 AM

post mindlessly amusing links here

I have mastered my Facebook addiction. I check it maybe twice a month now.

But Berkeley Breathed has returned and they pull me back in. by monk in Mixed Media
Sun Jul 26 9:47 PM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Jul 26 3:00 AM

Sexist Articles BY A WOMAN

I think it touches upon an even bigger issue: that women can be sexist toward other women, and props to you for noting that! Even worse is because she is a woman people might make it as though her being okay with female character being displayed in that manner means all women will be okay with it. So I'm with Frosty on this one, write an op-ed but make sure to find convincing arguments first.

There are many of them: female characters in gaming are objectified, portrayed as weak, are there often for "eye-candy", and even if she is physically fit, she will still depend on the male characters to defend her. Just a few of the top of my head. by Karina in New Members
Sat Jul 25 3:42 AM

what tv shows are you into nowdays?

I saw that episode of Black Mirror two or three weeks ago and it's still vividly disturbing me while I'm trying to sleep. It's definitely a brilliantly constructed show, but I'm not sure I can handle it. by Meperidine in Mixed Media
Fri Jul 24 7:57 PM

men who harass women online are losers - literally.

I can only hope that the more vocal racists, sexist, classist elements in society are being vocal precisely because they are starting to lose. I had pretty much the same reaction when I read about this.

I also wondered if there might be some correlation between skill level and maturity? Perhaps players who have less skill also have less gaming experience and are perhaps younger? I know from my own experience that when I'm playing online with people in their late twenties and thirties, abuse is not a problem. It seems more prevalent with games that attract younger participants. But this is just my experience, so anecdata, I know. by Gnarlbanya in Feminism
Wed Jul 22 10:10 PM

what art are you making?

I tried doing the "Hour of Code" activity on Khan Academy and made this

First time using JavaScript. Reminds me of doing pixel art in MS Paint. by Neko in Mixed Media
Wed Jul 29 4:18 AM

RIE parenting

Haha, yeah, so, as someone who knows a lot of people on the autism spectrum, I'm kind of appalled by the idea of denying a child the opportunity to self-soothe through repeated movement or to be comforted by snug comfortable closeness, if that's something the child wants.

Ah well, I guess it's like any parenting philosophy: take the useful stuff, adapt it to my actual child, ignore the hard-liners who think it makes sense to treat all babies the same way.

Thanks for the perspective! Very helpful. by rosefox in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed Jul 29 1:09 AM

post quick science links here

This is a perpetual topic. It won't ever be locked and you can reply to it even if it hasn't had replies in a while.

Remember, if your link is interesting enough to bring up questions or inspire discussion, start a new topic.
by user42 in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Tue Jul 28 6:54 PM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere

Livejournal
Blogspot
Etsy
Pinterest
Twitter
Facebook
Slashdot
Flickr
Cafepress

Tue Jul 28 3:00 PM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Jul 28 3:00 AM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Jul 27 3:00 PM

Hot Girls Wanted [porn documentary] [trigger warnings]

The biggest problem I perceive with gay porn is how it has caused a shift in values in masculinity, and how gay men have sex. The evolution of the internet means that I am seeing way more guys working overtime to get muscles at the gym, to have perfect beards, hair, and perfect bodies. They're having sex according to internalized scripts they watched online over and over. It's corrosive. It's really, really hard to find a guy who has sex in an organic way without trying to subconsciously act out what he has watched online.
by Aapje in Feminism
Mon Jul 27 9:51 AM

Young Feminist here :)

:D

For breakfast, I had a sandwich because I woke up at 2:30ish ;) it was pretty good. Italian bread with ham, cheese, lettuce, and mustard. by Ms_Mariposa in New Members
Mon Jul 27 2:13 AM

do you have a parenting goal?

I'm definitely in the "happy healthy child is my only goal" camp. I know some people who are superstars in their chosen fields. From what I can tell, being a superstar is completely exhausting and often really psychologically taxing. So if my kid isn't naturally inclined that way, I certainly don't intend to push them.

If I'm hoping for anything, I hope they'll end up being a quirky artsy/techy type like just about everyone else in the family. But my brother's a corporate lawyer and I love him anyway, so even if our kid turns out to be a white sheep, they'll just bond with Uncle A and it'll all be fine. :) by rosefox in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Jul 26 5:16 PM

Feminism and men's issues.


Valerie Solanas shot one person, who she felt had specifically wronged her, and he didn't die. She had a schizophrenic spectrum disorder and no social power.

She actually shot 2 people and the gun failed when she tried to shoot a third. She shot them because they refused to produce her misandrist play, so it is likely that she shot them because they didn't support radical feminism, not just because they had 'specifically wronged her.'
by Aapje in Feminism
Sat Jul 25 5:22 PM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Jul 25 3:00 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Jul 24 3:00 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Jul 22 3:00 AM

what are you reading?

I'm reading The Serpent of Venice by Christopher Moore, which is a sequel to Fool, in which Christopher Moore turns Shakespeare's King Lear into a comedy.

Christopher Moore is brilliant. One of my favorite books by him, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal is just amazing, and pretty much what it sounds like.

He wrote another one called The Stupidest Angel that I highly recommend if you're into a comical read about Christmas zombies.

Also, you guys even read more eloquent books than I do.
by ladyhawk in Mixed Media
Wed Jul 29 2:57 AM

*warning* Pregnancy past-due-date-rant *warning

This is a very timely post - I am 2 days over, although by Norway's definition, I'm still early! I'm not minding the wait as I always thought that this was going to be an August baby, but I know by this time next week it will be another story. It's funny, though, I've come across people (on other forums) who are desperately trying to get things going at 36 or 37 weeks! Aside from me thinking this is kind of crazy if there isn't a good medical reason for it, there is no way I felt ready 3 weeks ago. I've only just started feeling like I'm cool with Bub actually being here. I am a first-timer, though.
by Gnarlbanya in Ranting
Tue Jul 28 10:46 PM

Menstrual Pain Your Opinion?

Eh I could see some stupid MRA trying to make a fake 'study' about stuff and either mine it for data. like what they did with FemCon2015 this weekend, a fake "conference" they tried to trap feminists with. I guess the main thing is you come here and post a survey without trying to get to know us first, people are going to be suspicious. Many of us do not click on links of any sort unless there's reasonable evidence it won't be full of malware, or otherwise malicious or triggering. We've had too many people do that in the past. by rowan in New Members
Tue Jul 28 5:46 PM

Greetings from the North

Hello fellow northerner. I'm actually from the U.S. (and just returned from a long trip there) but have been living in Finland for 3 years. When I first moved, I got to go up to the Norwegian coast and see the Arctic Ocean, which was incredible.

My kid was also born past the due date, and the best advice I got while waiting around for pregnancy to finally be over was to make plans that I didn't mind breaking, so I wouldn't just be waiting around and going crazy. I don't really mind that I never got to that bunker museum.
by melsbells in New Members
Tue Jul 28 9:38 AM

On God, "he", and kids...

My link is not a final authority; as Christians, the Bible is. And we must not cherry pick the Bible and rank out what we disagree with.
Also, God uses the 'He' pronoun and I suppose He wants to call Him that.
I guess this turns into a question on whether we believe in the Judeo-Christian God as an authority or not. If we do we'll refer to Him as He wants yet understand men aren't superior to women due to this.

by AndrewZealand in Feminism
Mon Jul 27 9:27 PM

Braxton Hicks questions

In my experience "real" contractions are pretty much the whole uterus (top, bottom and lower back). I remember reading somewhere that the ones that get you dilated from 0-7/8 cm are largely the muscles pulling up, trying to stretch the cervix out. As a result many people largely do feel them most strongly at the top of their belly. Whether you feel them strongly in your back or not depends on how the baby is positioned. If you've heard the term "back labor" that usually happens if the back of the baby's head is pressed up against your spine (less common than when the baby's face is on the spine). The contractions that take you from 7 or 8 cm to 10 - i.e. the ones in the part of labor known as "transition" - do tend to be lower down (and also more painful). That said, I think there is A LOT of variation in experience... by Metcodon1 in Pregnancy & Parenting
Mon Jul 27 2:13 PM

Bra behavior

I feel horrible without a bra. I wish I didn't. But my boobs are sort of starting to sag, and when I can feel them sloshing around inside my clothes.. I just can't stand it, it freaks me out. I often wear a soft, seamless bra at night. I wish I had small, firm boobs. by annesik in Polls
Mon Jul 27 9:09 AM

Green things and hallucinations

Welcome to the spacefem forums! And congratulations on impending parenthood! I too edit books (though mainly boring biographies of Jewish people) so it's nice to have someone more professional around :)
Tell us a little more about yourself, there is a list in the Guide to New and Returning Members which is quite comprehensive. For us anyway :) by Nachos in New Members
Mon Jul 27 12:24 AM

New Album (sort of)

http://meetthesquidables.bandcamp.com/a ... lification

This is basically a summary of things we've recorded that we're most proud of. I picked four songs written by Jacob that I'm most impressed by, then Jacob picked four songs I've written. After this, I picked four of my songs that he didn't list and he picked four of his own. One of his songs bookends the CD and I threw on a Grindcore track meant for a Grindcore comp that was never released. I also thought it'd be funny to have a random Grindcore track thrown in the middle of our typical arty rock/folk tracks.
by Storage and Disposal in Mixed Media
Sun Jul 26 4:36 AM

On double standards

On the park bench remark, "men have experienced this not explicitly", if then how? Are the people who've experienced this mind-readers? The same way my mother would assume I was criticizing her as a parent whenever I would post an article on parenting. Assumptions always lead to unnecessary fighting, trust me. Unless he's been accused outwardly, then it's different.

In terms of women getting more attention than men, it isn't because women are more picky, it's because they aren't encouraged to express their desires as outwardly as men are. Yet on the other hand, if a woman doesn't return the attention, then she is being "rude". Damned if you do, damned if you don't. And lastly, if a person has to lie in order to get laid, then I wouldn't want him to touch me in the first place. Did you ever think that maybe the best way to get a partner is by being honest, reliable, and respectful? Being "nice" to a woman even once, such as driving her to work or fixing her computer, hardly makes any man entitled to sleeping with her- there's a lot of factors to be considered when it comes to selecting a partner. Consent being one of them. by Karina in Feminism
Sat Jul 25 4:48 AM

how to you dispose of dead batteries?

My car battery was dead this morning. No apparent reason (no lights on, no open doors, ...) I'm jinx-blaming this thread.

There's a local recycling center that has a dead battery bin. I let them deal with my dead batteries. by DarkOne in Random
Sat Jul 25 1:38 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Jul 23 3:00 AM

Greetings everyone!

Yeah, funny how Poe's Law is so often invoked in defense of gullibility and ignorance.

I'm uncomfortable, sure, with throwing kill all men-type rhetoric around, but it does remain true that feminist killing sprees to eradicate men do not happen and misogynist killing sprees very much do. Why is anger against the prevalence of violence against women considered so unreasonable and insane, compared to the violence itself? People who, to express frustration at being disproportionately targeted by gender violence, use violent rhetoric that they never act on--why are they considered so much more of a scourge on society than people who use violent misogynist rhetoric, do act on it, have acted on it for a long time and continue to act on it today? I've got a hunch why. by Meperidine in New Members
Mon Jul 20 6:43 PM