is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Feminism cannot achieve equal rights.

Oh what other privileges do I have?. And courts tend to favor us in custody battles. Woohoo vaginas!

Waaaaait a minute...

Debunked and discussed here!

But even if "custody privilege" were a real thing that women actually had, you bring up good points about why feminists might oppose it. by Meperidine in New Members
Sat Mar 28 4:38 AM

RIP, Sir Terry Pratchett

The website header is stuff that most people don't see, it tells the web browser various things. Probably the most visible is when you look at the top of your browser tab and it says "Spacefem" or "Gmail" or whatever you're looking at that's part of the header (e.g. the title of this thread "RIP, Sir Terry Pratchett -"). The rest is things like "use this style sheet" (which is the file that defines the look of the page) or other things like that.
by rowan in Random
Fri Mar 27 5:51 PM

what's something you've lit on fire?

What colors did it burn?
Blue and orange.
:fire: :thumbup: by rowan in Random
Fri Mar 27 3:02 AM

Starbucks "Race Together" campaign

It's just bizarre.

I agree it's putting it onto the barista's, who are busy enough as is and might not be comfortable in having those conversations. I mean, they got a job there to make coffee and now they have to go along with this?

What else could they have done? Maybe get free trade beans and launch a campaign on equality? That might be too difficult and not the right market. Different coloured coffee cups? I dunno. by Nae in Random
Fri Mar 27 2:33 AM

having it some - transparency in parental leave policies

I'd like to have kids in the future, but I would be incredibly uncomfortable raising the subject of parental leave in an interview.

It'd be great if I wasn't, but I've heard of so many stories where women get looked over because the employer is concerned they'll "run off and have babies". Seems so bizarre, surely after the woman returns to work they would be more loyal, and if they want to work part-time then it'd be very hard for them to find a new job, so they're likely in it for the long run.
by Nae in Feminism
Fri Mar 27 2:10 AM

Tips and pitfalls for gender-neutral parenting

I'm a while off having kids, but everything is so pervasively gendered I've had these concerns too.

Kids will learn a lot from what their parents do rather than say, so the most important thing you can do is just to be a good parent who believes in equality.

Media will be yelling at them their whole lives that they should conform and buy their products etc., so a healthy dose of cynicism could be learnt to.

You could try bringing it up with your kids to challenge them; "But why does he say that toy isn't for boys?". by Nae in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Mar 26 10:17 AM

Things I've realized

Welcome, I hope you took a breath in there somewhere. :) It's good to recognize where you've come from, and I'm glad you've found your way a little further along than before.

Aside from all that, tell us a bit about yourself? What do you like to do? Read anything good lately? Like mooses or gooses (or foxes or sockses)? :moose: by rowan in New Members
Thu Mar 26 3:03 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Mar 24 3:00 PM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Mar 24 3:00 AM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Mar 23 3:00 PM

Why can't gender activists just get along?

It seems like there are more feminist philosophers right now that will have a larger impact on western culture than males in the near future, that is my theory.
Feminists can be of any gender. by No I'm Not in Feminism
Sun Mar 22 7:26 AM


This is an immersive theatre performance I am involved in and our kickstarter has just opened! ... riedenwald

This is the project description:
THE SHELLS – AUSFLUG NACH NEU-FRIEDENWALD is an 8-day immersive theater performance that will take place in Berlin, June 13-20 2015. Inspired by David Lynch's TV-drama Twin Peaks and coinciding with its 25-year anniversary, THE SHELLS chronicles the unraveling of the suburban paradise Neu-Friedenwald after the brutal murder of a young girl.
by Nachos in Mixed Media
Fri Mar 20 7:31 PM

How do I find a good Math teacher?

I could talk about systemic issues in math/sciences until I fall over, but this is one very common (stupid) thing that I see a lot. You might ask your professor how these exam grades will translate into an actual grade. Sometimes things are strongly curved. I personally think that's a shit way of dealing with things, but it's not unusual.

Actually, they specifically said they don't curve the grades. My college has a pretty high failure rate for Math classes in general... the majority of their energy is invested in DMAT classes rather than College Algebra and higher.
by C-3PO in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Wed Mar 18 2:48 AM

Advice for non-parents?

only offer to bring food if that's truly your thing and you truly can cook.
oh yeah. heh. I live in a bubble of good cooks I guess. ;) by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Fri Mar 27 9:04 PM

Hiya! Anyone up for a discussion?

I think I also became more of a feminist once I started working and encounting job-based sexism. When I was in high school, I was very much of the mindset that 'things have improved since the bad old days and girls can do anything!' (Forgive me, it was the '90s, the Spice Girls were fairly influential). Once I started work, though, I realised that being able to 'do anything' was not the same and being allowed or encouraged to, and that my treatment might vary a bit from males in similar roles. I still have a crystal clear recollection of being 21 and in my first serious job as a PR assistant, having my butt slapped by my 55 year old boss while I was standing at the photocopier, as he ambled past with a coterie of similarly middle-aged male clients. Yes, it was a while ago, but I suspect plenty of young female employees still encounter similar vileness and are as confused as I was about what to do about it. by Gnarlbanya in New Members
Fri Mar 27 6:18 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Mar 27 3:00 AM

Debating nose piercing...

I'm a fan of rubies, but I would advise against one on a nose piercing. Turns out they just look like pimples. :P

I like the studs though. It depends what colour suits you. by Nae in Random
Fri Mar 27 2:27 AM

Interacting with parents whose choices you don't trust

How can you tell who has been vaccinated or not?
That's the tricky part, you can't really. So unless the parents say something you never actually know. by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Mar 26 3:08 PM

What are your bees getting up to?

The cheapest raspberry pi's are only $25, with the reader mechanism and batter I bet the set up is under fifty bucks. I would imagine they could use tens if not hundreds of them and the more they ordered at once the cheaper they would be.

When I first read that I was seeing kilometers not meters and I was amazed. It's still cool though. by monk in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Thu Mar 26 6:03 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Mar 26 3:00 AM

TAH ending

Ah man, I hate it when things I love end! And such a bummer that you won't be able to go see it live before it ends, extra bummer.

Do you feel as though it's coming to a natural ending, at least? I hate hate HATE it when things are canceled and the story line ends abruptly and awkwardly, but I also hate when something drags on for clearly much longer than it should have. by Bork in Ranting
Tue Mar 24 3:55 AM

Fawlty Towers

I was pretty young the last time I saw an episode. I remember it being silly enough to hold my attention unlike the other Britcoms my mom would watch.

I had no idea there were only twelve episodes. I'll have to check it out. by Neko in Mixed Media
Mon Mar 23 6:48 PM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Mar 23 3:00 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Mar 22 3:00 AM

Hello, all you wonderful people

Thanks for the warm welcome! I look forward to posting around and getting to know more of you.

As far as books go, I read pretty much anything and would love some suggestions for authors or a series to get into. The last ones I really devoted time to reading were the Pillars of the Earth books by Ken Follett, because I was flying around the world and needed LONG books to take on the plane. Pretty sure I wouldn't read them again, and REALLY didn't like some of the plot material, but they worked for plane reading. My favorite recent (I'm incredibly behind the times) find was "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver. It's the first in a long time that made me pause and really reread sections to just take in the prose. My favorite of the Newbery medalists/honorees is "I, Juan de Pareja," but that changes frequently depending on which one I've picked up for bedtime reading. I'm really excited to have a kid with whom I can share some of my books and have begun to stockpile picture books, too. The Elephant and Piggy series by Mo Willems is my current favorite there, especially for early/emerging readers.
by ohbonobogirl in New Members
Thu Mar 19 3:54 AM

Did MFS vote in this poll?

It's a logic puzzle!

So, I was first, and I knew for certain that MFS had not voted in the poll yet, so I gave the response with the most information ("No, but I voted in this poll"). The second person voted "maybe" because they could not be sure whether the "I" of the first response was MFS. Subsequent responses also objected or chose the pants option.

We still don't know whether MFS voted. by Sonic# in Polls
Tue Mar 17 12:36 PM

what book do you remember enjoying as a child?

I read so much as a kid. Definitely getting behind the Number the Stars trend in this thread.

I loved the Sharon Creech books Walk Two Moons, Chasing Redbird, and The Wanderer, and maybe a few other than those. Different author but a book I think I liked around the same time was Island of the Blue Dolphins.

Harry Potter, of course. Anne of Green Gables. Little House on the Prairie. Goosebumps. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. The American Girl book series. Choose Your Own Adventure series. The Bailey School Kids series. There was some other historical fiction series that focused on girls from different eras that I can't remember the name of. I liked historical fiction novels a lot as a kid. by Eravial in Random
Fri Mar 27 7:12 PM

Do you miss anyone right now?

My fiancee is a couple of states away. I get to see her once a month and we keep up with each other, but the physical distance still sucks terribly.

I'm also missing family generally right now. I've not seen any of them save my sister since Christmas. It's a 5 hour drive, but mentally I don't feel like I can spare the time right now. by Sonic# in Random
Fri Mar 27 3:38 AM

Landlord/Realtor Issues

I had a realtor bring a couple around while I was moving out.

There was shit everywhere, boxes, tape, dirt that had been hiding behind furniture. I was in the process of moving, not sure what they really expected. They didn't seem impressed, but they didn't bring anyone to inspect until I had left.

It was spotless when I left it.

It's great that your landlord stood up for you like that - and I hope your new house goes well. :) by Nae in Ranting
Fri Mar 27 2:44 AM

Bilingual Babies

As someone who only knows English, I am so impressed by people who are bilingual, trilingual, or multilingual. Only knowing English feels like you can only understand part of the world. The problem I've had is I don't really know what language I should try to learn.

I think it's a wonderful thing to be able to teach a child two languages. The part others have raised about being able to communicate with family members makes it that much more rewarding.

Don't worry about the naysayers - they always have to pick on something, and if it wasn't that, they'd just find something else. ;) by Nae in Pregnancy & Parenting
Fri Mar 27 2:18 AM

have you been in a helicopter?

Seeing the tram thing, I feel like I may have been on one of those a long as time ago, actually. When I was pretty young, young enough it's really only a vague memory that I'm only mostly sure really happened. I know it wasn't a mountain thing though, so I still feel like mountain tram is a no. by cwbyrvr in Random
Thu Mar 26 12:24 PM

Horrifying Gingerbread Man

Otherwise it might have been five, which would have definitely blown the budget.
I would totally back a kickstarter campaign for femmers to make terrifying foodcrafts at meetups. Just sayin'.

YES!! I fully support this! by Bork in Mixed Media
Thu Mar 26 4:31 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Mar 25 3:00 AM

How Good Parents Miss Child Sexual Abuse and 5 Questions to Change That

And that includes parents too - I try to always ask "can I have a hug/kiss" rather than "give me a hug/kiss" and that she can always always say no if she doesn't want to, even with me. (She's old enough now that I've had enough practice that even writing "give me a hug" sounds weird to me)

Also I think on a more general level it's good to practice asking these kinds of questions anyway. Not just for abuse, but in general if you want to know what's going on in their life. Asking "how was school" gets an "I dunno" even now, but asking more specific things like "What was something funny that happened today" or "What did you do at recess?" really gets her talking more. Not sure where I read that, but the kinds of questions above made me think that sometimes just asking a better question will help get at what you want to know more than asking generalities.
by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Tue Mar 24 3:20 AM

do you have a pet rock?

Yes; I do have a pet rock. It is quite small so it is amazing that I haven't lost it, I think I've had it at least thirty years. I also have a couple of pet logs :) by Tweek in Random
Mon Mar 23 6:21 PM

Pregnancy Books

I live in Rochester, MN (don't stalk me), so I went to the Mayo Clinic for my first 2 kids. I have their book (actually 2 copies of it...hehe) because they give it to you at your first prenatal appointment. I'd be happy to send a copy in the mail or you can probably find it online for pretty reasonable. They refer to the baby as both he and she and have chapters dedicated to the partner. by Isabella357 in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Mar 22 9:36 PM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Mar 21 3:00 AM

favorite way to tell time

^^ Wow I'm late to the discussion, again. But that IS a nice watch, Nachos. However, I'll be picky again and say that numbers in silver or white are not my game either. :) I DID find a watch however, pretty inexpensive but looks nice! I actually chose to go digital since they didn't have any nice ones I wanted with the clock all around the face. The new ones are armitrons! Go figure! :) Happy watch hunting everyone. :) by lovernotafighter in Polls
Thu Mar 19 3:15 AM

It takes 13 million calories to raise a child!

Child care is BEYOND insanely expensive... When my husband and I were deciding to to have children we agreed to both go part time (4 days a week) in order to make our lives easier (we both make more than we would pay for day care, so we did take a financial hit with this decision). For example, whoever is home on a given day can throw in some laundry, or some food into the slow cooker, run errands... All of these things multiply in number once you have kids at the same time becoming more difficult to schedule. Unfortunately, when my daughter was around 1 my work situation changed and I had to go full time... let me tell you, it was definitely easier when I wasn't.
by Metcodon1 in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Mar 15 6:33 PM