is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

what's your favorite cocktail?

I want to do a flavoured bourbon but I am not sure what. Suggestions?
Apples! For example:
Woodchuck also makes a bourbon-barrel-aged apple cider and it's delicious, so I'm pretty sold on the combination.

As for my favorite cocktail, there are too many choices. I think my current favorite is an Old Fashioned. I like it with an orange but definitely without soda water. by octarineoboe in Random
Sat Apr 25 9:59 PM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Apr 24 3:00 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Apr 22 3:00 AM

What is your worst habit?

I have a double bed and I let stuff build up in the half of it that I don't use for sleeping. Currently there are four books, a hairbrush, some yarn, a tea tray and a bunch of papers there, and that's having cleared it completely less than three days ago. by lillerina in Random
Tue Apr 21 5:52 AM

Are you afraid of snakes?

We don't really have that many in this part of Europe.... however I went to the aquarium the other day and watched a snake shed its skin. That was prett fascinating :) by Nachos in Random
Mon Apr 20 8:52 PM

Can't find my tribe

Love the meme above. I unfortunately am not a mom yet, but I see it all the time and want to scream. I hope you find some other people out there in whom you can confide and share time with, and I would suggest not being a stranger here as well! :) by lovernotafighter in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Apr 19 10:48 PM

Atheist Facebook Group Moderation Issues

Making apologies for victim-blamey guy as "just unaware of his own bias" while suggesting that feminists and/or people who may have been affected by rape adhere to certain standards of objectivity when discussing it--as if letting the limitations of personal perspective affect an argument is more acceptable for him to do than it is for the people arguing with him--smacks of a double standard to me. Whatever objective realities may exist outside our perception, perspective will ALWAYS affect the way one formulates and communicates an argument. Your group is merely privileging certain perspectives over others, and the privileged perspectives in your group are the same ones already favored in society at large--men's perspectives.
by Gnarlbanya in Feminism
Sat Apr 18 5:05 AM

Do you have sharp knives?

The only time I ever cut myself bad was on my french knife *right* after I had put it on my steel, so it healed pretty good and I just have a little scar. It was so sharp I saw the blood before I really felt it. (It sure as hell hurt the next day, though.) by Rainbow Dolphins in Random
Tue Apr 14 3:34 AM

Poll: Which country do you live in?

I'm Canadian (Not CanadiEn, that is a hockey player). My parents moved to BC from Louisiana before I was born due to the oil boom. My brother is technically dual citizen but I consider myself 100% Canadian. by bluenosedlady in Polls
Fri Apr 10 5:57 PM

Happy birthday Neko!

Happy birthday (a little late) !

I got you a thinking cat :) by Nachos in Random
Thu Apr 9 9:35 PM


Welcome to spacefem! Please take a moment to read the FAQ and the Guide to New and Returning Members.

Newbies aren't allowed to post new topics (apart from in New Members and Pregnancy and Parenting) until they have posted in other threads five times first, this is a small troll precaution.

Tell us more about yourself! There is a handy guide in the Guide. by Nachos in New Members
Thu Apr 9 8:57 PM


I'm really not a fan, and I think it's super rude for the exact reason you pointed out: people use it to shut down thinking on a point. Don't invalidate what I have to say by trying to pass something off as a joke. by Bork in Ranting
Wed Apr 8 6:21 PM

Stupid Stuck Elevator

Back when I scrubbed toilets (and cleaned elevators), we had a patient who felt compelled to draw giant penises on the elevator doors using permanent marker. Thankfully, my coworkers were as immature as I was and that made cleaning it up a lot more fun. "I have to rub really hard to get it off!"

I'd rather deal with that than boogers! Ech. by Neko in Ranting
Tue Apr 7 5:42 AM

could you live on an island?

But a developed island, probably. So long as everything I need is on the island, and I wouldn't have to constantly be commuting to and from the mainland.

Same for me, and "everything I need" would have to include other people--I go a bit loopy if I don't get human contact every 8 hours or so at least. by Meperidine in Random
Sat Apr 25 6:30 PM

School censors girl's yearbook photo

I'm more upset at how most of the general public thinks that feminist is a shocking word.
This bothers me a lot. Makes me want to go all Thor: by rowan in Feminism
Thu Apr 23 4:24 PM

the worst first birthday invite ever

Do we know the target audience for the birthday invite? Is it a privileged community? Because I could see clusters of families acting this way. You know, the gated community types. Obviously these people come from a place of entitlement and privilege... but I've seen worse. Maybe it's their first kid too and they walked into every gaff possible. Some people are oblivious like that. Seems like their materialistic practicality trumped even proper manners. by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting
Tue Apr 21 9:16 PM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Apr 21 3:00 AM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Apr 20 3:00 PM

The next chat day is Tuesday May 5th, 2015

unlocking this topic, I think I found the bug that was keeping spacebot from bumping this up on the right day. only time will tell!

I am persistent. give me 3-4 months, I'll get around to fixing something. by spacefem in Random
Sun Apr 19 8:27 PM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Apr 18 3:00 AM

Bilingual Babies

Spacefem's husband no longer speaking Spanish and Nachos no longer speaking Dutch, I think are great examples of lacking motivation. Likewise, I had mentioned that my kid is unlikely to pick up Swedish, despite 10% of the population being native Swedish speakers, Swedish being one of the offical languages and therefore alongside Finnish everywhere, and having a Swedish speaking uncle.??? by sakooon in Pregnancy & Parenting
Mon Apr 13 11:41 AM

'Jane's world' or 'Go get a roomie'?

I have kind of the thing for comics. Yes, yes, I know exactly how they objectify women....but it is fantasy and I enjoy the escape. There are 2 web comics in particular that I enjoy that center around gay women and is written by a woman. The first is Jane's World by Paige Braddick:

The second "Go Get a Roomie" by Chloe C.
by bluenosedlady in Random
Fri Apr 10 4:45 PM

Chalk or marker board?

Is a marker board a whiteboard?


I had blackboards in school and actually loved them, mostly because they were very variable, you could fold bits in and out and have stuff written on all the sides.

When I started teacher training it was all about smartboards. I seemed to have skipped whiteboards completely though I have to say I'm a fan of them :) by Nachos in Random
Thu Apr 9 9:27 PM

The responsibility of choosing a name

Spouse and I have two main rules: family name and not Biblical. Fortunately we have big families with lots of cool names available.

I have the additional stipulations of not having two people in the same house with the same name (i.e. Jr.) and that really unusual names should be middle names. Spouse's family has the tradition of naming the first son after the father, but since Spouse has a super-Biblical name I've not had to fight too hard to keep him from naming his son after himself. I was named after my dad's mom so we had the same first and last name in the same town and that caused some problems (which, admittedly, were quickly solved by our 70-year difference in ages). But I can't imagine having two "Spouse"s at one address.
by C˙glas in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed Apr 8 11:32 PM

So what are you reading now?

I'm about halfway through "Horns" ( and I can't really get into it. Like I get into each individual chapter but am having issues stringing them together to make sense. Hope it gets better soon.

This might be because I am reading it mainly to and from work so I can't get in deeply enough.

Just finished "Eleanor and Park" recently in one night which made me cry (bummed it off my sister), "Elizabeth is Missing" which is very very good and the "Ocean at the End of the Lane" which was spectacular. by Nachos in Random
Tue Apr 7 11:50 PM

Hello All, Feminist Filmmaker here!

... how all of the polarizing opinions about sex, "virginity" and sexuality usually lead to a lot of unnecessary stress the first time a person has sex.

Is that really usual?

I would say so, definitely.

Ditto. Obviously everyone's different, but I think it's completely safe to say that societal hangups about "virginity" and sex cause unnecessary stress for many, especially before/when/some time after they become sexually active. There's internal guilt caused by internalized sexism and sex-negativity, and external pressure from...external sexism and sex-negativity. Centuries upon centuries of making a big deal over the first time someone has sex (and a disproportionately big deal if that someone has a vagina, which is the case in every modern or past society I'm aware of) is going to result in related baggage for individuals surrounding the first time they have sex. by Meperidine in New Members
Sat Apr 4 10:19 PM

movie tropes you're sick of

this week native american actors walked off the set of an adam sandler movie. the actors were told the film would be a comedy that "wasn't racist"... but surprise, it was! the costumes had been decided on based on indian stereotypes, and would not be changed. the indian characters would have jokes for names, and religious symbols like feathers would be arranged offensively just to be funny.
by spacefem in Feminism
Fri Apr 24 10:50 PM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Apr 23 3:00 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Apr 21 3:00 PM

New Laptop

On my laptops I converted to OpenOffice, though not as a short-term solution. I would like to have MS Office for some things (like for editing my writing for submission), but on the whole it's served me well.

I'm really glad you didn't lose anything. On my last laptop the keyboard stopped working after I cleaned it*, and the hard drive acted like it had failed during the first reboot after that. I had backed up most of my information, but not all of my bibliographic data (!), so I was giddy when I figured out how to enter my password without a keyboard.
by Sonic# in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Mon Apr 20 9:35 PM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Apr 20 3:00 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Apr 19 3:00 AM

Comedies and consent

A little off topic, but the Honeymooners was a study in contrast. It romanticized domestic abuse while at the same time showing a strong woman who gave as much as she got. Ralph Kramden often threatened domestic violence, but never followed through as far as I know. Alice Kramden was every bit the equal to her husband. For its time it must have been quite liberating to see a character on television who could stand-up and defy her husband often for the good of the couple. It wasn't really about sexual consent, but for its time it must have been a positive influence to help some women to stand up to domestic abuse which was actually legal in some states. by cypressdryad in Feminism
Tue Apr 14 8:46 PM

Re: Who is the best feminist singer from the 1990s?

Despite coming from a troll, I think it's not a bad idea to have a thread about women who are great feminist singers. Of the ones listed, I'm going to have to go with Sinead O'Connor. CAT Power was pretty interesting, too. by Storage and Disposal in Polls
Mon Apr 13 3:18 AM

are we doing shots?

They weren't that strong at all, only some of them were, but we might not have finished all of them...

The yellow ones are eggnog and lemonade, a mini snowball cocktail!

Red: strawberry cordial and vodka
Green: waldmeister cordial and vodka
Clear: arak (like ouzo) and water
White: coconut liquor and chocolate sprinkes and coconut sprinkles
Dark: rum and coke
Yellow: eggnog and lemonade
Bright orange: orange liquor
Browny orange: a cocktail mixer called sportsman and some tia maria
by Nachos in Random
Fri Apr 10 3:04 PM


Welcome to spacefem! Please take a moment to read the FAQ and the Guide to New and Returning Members.

Tell us more about yourself! There is a handy format guide in the Guide.

I went to NSW once, I really liked it :) I saw a giant banana and dolphins in Coffs Harbour. by Nachos in New Members
Thu Apr 9 9:14 PM

Exes getting married

That sounds good, Nachos. :)

I've declined invitations to weddings to avoid awkwardness before. If I'm not going to be happy being there, then I'm obviously not going to make the day happy for them. And if I didn't want to make their day to be happy, then I should just cut off contact because that gets noxious fast. by Sonic# in Ranting
Wed Apr 8 11:30 PM

Advice for non-parents?

I definitely agree on the flexibility of where to meet. It makes a huge difference when you aren't stressed about your kid in a public place. Recently, I went to a tea shop with my daughter. Not only was the layout of the seating area very conducive to letting a toddler walk around a bit while still keeping a close eye on her, but there was plenty of room for my stroller and plenty of available tables. That is rare! It wasn't a huge space, but it was just laid out well for what we needed. I will definitely be suggesting it the next time a friend asks if we can get together. Let your parent friends choose the location! They know which places have changing tables and room to park a stroller. by Nedra in Pregnancy & Parenting
Tue Apr 7 8:56 PM

Nipples and Penises! Oh My!

Polynesia. When the western explorers first came to polynesia their christian morals were appalled because many of the polynesian groups they discovered went bare chested be it man or woman. We(western culture)ruined this. Many African tribes had no boobaphobia before western culture. A womans chest being a sexual object is a cultural leftover/byproduct of women as a whole being a sexual object vs. a fully empowered human. A womens chest isn't anymore sexual/errogenus than a mans and the only reason we like boobs so much is because it's still widely culturally accepted for men to be publically sexually aggressiv/appreciative and not women.
by tomokun in Feminism
Fri Apr 3 7:45 PM