is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Kid movie feminism: Why couldn't there be female Minions?

I dunno. Does an artist have a responsibility to promote social justice in his or her work?
I don't think so, but it's certainly a plus when they do.

And my answer is "well not if they're good writers". And we want good writers, amiright?
Good writing is a bit subjective, so this is just my opinion on all of it. I love a number of movies that don't exactly pass the Bechdel test. It's certainly better when women play an equal role in films, but strictly on an art quality level on a specific movie, in my opinion, it won't decide the difference between a good or bad film. I think there's certainly a correlation between lazy, shallow movies and sexism, but I don't think movies are necessarily bad because they don't pass the bechdel test. I think it just means the movie is probably sexist. That's not to say that I don't think it's important that we fight to eliminate art standards that marginalize women. To me, it's not about making something nonsexist to create good art. It's about making nonsexist art because there's absolutely no reason to not. by Storage and Disposal in Feminism
Mon Jul 6 11:03 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Jul 6 3:00 PM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Jul 6 3:00 AM

President Jimmy Carter: Mistreatment of women is the #1 human rights abuse (TED Talk)

Thanks for this! I downloaded it on podcast and listened to it on my way to work and ah... don't you just love Jimmy Carter? What happened to that kind of president, who didn't bomb people or ignore the pleas of the unjustly imprisoned.

And yeah he's exactly right, on everything. by spacefem in Feminism
Fri Jul 3 8:46 PM


Welcome to the spacefem forums! You are not lame, this is exactly the kind of intro we love :)
Please post pictures of your dogs? I like dog pictures :) by Nachos in New Members
Thu Jul 2 6:58 PM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Jul 1 3:00 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Jun 30 3:00 PM

New Laptop

Only built two, and incrementally upgraded a few, RAM chips and graphics card usually. All these computers were used for gaming and professional multimedia uses. They were built for speed but under a limited budget.

Most of the time, I was troubleshooting OS and malware related issues and installing OS and drivers in fresh computers/laptops.

I run tests sometimes out of curiousity. I'll use a game or run my automated data analysis excel sheet and monitor the CPU/GPU, and RAM usage.
by undefeatable in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Sun Jun 28 11:38 AM

The harm in tone policing

I think the moment someone starts expressing anger is when a debate turns into an argument.
I really don't think that anger feminists have is unjustified, but I often see it taken out on the wrong people for the right reasons.

For instance, I saw once this lady who replied to emails generically with a "he" pronoun in the title, and the woman who received the e-mail flipped her shit and wrote a long angry email about how you shouldn't assume everyone is a man, and everyone else was replying to this post like "good job girl!" or whatever.
by Haruhanahanako in Feminism
Fri Jun 26 8:45 AM

Should I do MBA Infrastructure

If you recently graduated, your career prospects might immediately benefit more from a technical advanced degree (masters in a specific civil engineering discipline) than an MBA. I'll agree with posters who recommended 1) wait some time for an MBA and 2) find a job and get your employer to pay for post-graduate education, if at all possible. by DarkOne in Careers & Education
Thu Jun 25 4:49 PM


Welcome to the spacefem forums! Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope all goes well :) I do love Jeffrey Eugenides, he spoke at my high school graduation :) by Nachos in New Members
Thu Jun 25 4:05 PM

On double standards

I grew up in a world where most of those things are a non-issue, so I guess if you're living somewhere that still embraces 1950's male gender norming, it's sort of accurate?

Lucky you. The majority of the U.S. is still ultra-conservative and combative toward anything unconventional. Of course, it varies from simply getting weird looks from other people to outright intolerance, but we're far from out of the woods.

As a mostly androgynous man, I don't feel like I'm nearly as discriminated against as much as women are, but there's still more double standards out there than there needs to be. by minervyx in Feminism
Thu Jun 25 3:29 PM

Pregnancy insomnia

Thanks for the tips. It's not so much getting to sleep that's the problem, it's staying that way that is causing the issue - too many things waking me up. I seem to be in a bit of a pattern now of alternating good and bad nights, which I guess I can live with. Meanwhile, Netflix is getting a damn good workout in the early hours. by Gnarlbanya in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Jun 25 9:05 AM

Marriage equality in the US, y'all

This is amazing news America! Go you!
And because I know you will appreciate this, a perfect comeback to all who say "let's keep marriage biblical": by Nachos in Random
Mon Jul 6 9:05 PM

On God, "he", and kids...

This question may be more relevant to people who practice some sort of Christian based faith which emphasizes a male God, but all opinions are welcome:

How do you handle the issue of a supreme deity and pronouns, in cases where the mandate/tradition/convention is to treat the deity as a male entity and/or use "He/Him" as the pronoun of choice, in particular when talking about religion to kids? Do you follow convention? If so, is it for the sake of simplicity (faith is a complex enough idea without having to tack on gender issues on a kid), and address "he" later on when the child is old enough to understand gender issues? Or for some other reason? Do you use "he or she" (because you really don't know which one you should be using?), and nip at the bud notions of inherent male superiority? Or do you do something entirely different and not even in between? How do you tackle this or plan to tackle this?
by DarkOne in Feminism
Mon Jul 6 12:19 PM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Jul 5 3:00 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Jul 3 3:00 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Jul 2 3:00 AM

Negotiating a Job Offer

I would ask about pay raises (how often and how much can you expect) and upward mobility. Do they promote from within? What positions are above yours that you might be qualified for down the line? I would also ask about continuing education and job training. Is the company willing to send you to conferences or workshops to expand your skill set? Who will be training you for your job, and for how long? by Rainbow Dolphins in Careers & Education
Wed Jul 1 2:40 AM

non-fiction feminist reading recommendations?

Thanks for all the suggestions! "Feminism is for Everybody" was my first academic look at Feminism and at the time (maybe ten years ago), I was really put off by bell hooks' stance on feminism and religion. It would be good to read it again though.
I'm visiting my parents at the moment, so I have the opportunity to pick up a few English texts while I'm here and at least get to read them once I get home. by melsbells in Feminism
Tue Jun 30 3:24 AM

Hello yous

thank you Nachos.

I'm sorry, not until I post my research, else my heavy conclusions will make me appear like a nutcase. Maybe I'll make a youtube video about it. It could turn viral if I don't get kicked out by youtube. by undefeatable in New Members
Sun Jun 28 11:10 AM

Relentless IT recruiter.

ladyhawk - you should explain that your military experience also makes you a fantastic assassin and you're thinking about taking out a contract on this recruiter...

Clearly this recruiter is a buffoon and I would assume works for a buffoon company. But yeah, report them - BBB for starters. by MFS in Ranting
Fri Jun 26 6:03 AM

My birth story, welcome Arthur Bruce

CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so happy and proud and wah and everything reading your birth story, and he is a little angel. So cute and squishy!
I've heard many good things about eating your placenta afterwards, whether powdered cooked or raw.
Have a gorgeous wonderful time with him :) Look after yourself and be happy :) by Nachos in Random
Thu Jun 25 4:40 PM


I can't believe I've not written here yet, but welcome to the spacefem forums! I finished 1Q84 recently as well and it was indeed a hard slog, but totally worth it :) If you need an English proofreader for your work however, I do that professionally every now and then ;) by Nachos in New Members
Thu Jun 25 4:04 PM

if you need to breastfeed, please cover yourself

I'm late on this conversation, but yes staring would probably make me feel weird. BUT I've noticed that if you strike up a quick conversation it's less weird, and most women really appreciate it because let's face it nursing can get to be boring as hell.

so I was at this party and a woman was nursing her son and all the chairs were taken except the one right next to her. I wanted to sit down, and I also will confess that the site of a baby getting milk drunk is the best thing to witness, it'll make your day, so I plopped down, but I asked her first too. It was a "Hey, can I sit here? Thanks. I'm spacefem. Looks like somebody's getting some milk! How old? Well let me know if you need a refill on that sprite you've got there because I have been where you are my first daughter would have camped out all day on the boob if I'd have let her..." and we had a nice chat.
by spacefem in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Jun 25 11:40 AM

Casual love

I really liked this post. It shows how I try to handle my feelings of love in all it's forms. It's sometimes sad that saying "I love you" is such a big thing, that it can scare people so much, or make people so... Protective of their love. Not that I want to tell every crush I have that I love them, but I want to say it to friends, to my partners, and would love for that to be less... Big. And just a sign of what I feel, without any expectations. If I have expectations, I'll tell them in more explicit ways. by iamthegate in Random
Thu Jun 25 7:44 AM

What is the best gift you have ever received?

The recipe book idea is really thoughtful and nice :)

I tend to get expensive things that I really want/need on my birthday. I got a kindle three years ago. I love it! (especially as I live in a place where I can't always get English books :) ) by Nachos in Random
Mon Jul 6 8:42 PM

The End of Feminism

Even victims of genocide can recover. History will not forget the feminist genocide against the unborn and men, no matter how much they try to whitewash it. In a future era, the Rule of Men as heads of the family and country will return.

Now, male babies are being aborted callously. Boys in school are being drugged out their minds for natural and healthy male behavior. Young men are being pushed out of universities and jobs. Men are being punished in "family courts" for the crime of wanting to be husbands and fathers.
by undefeatable in Feminism
Mon Jul 6 11:26 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Jul 4 3:00 AM

Happy To Be Here

Welcome to the spacefem forums! Have you found the FAQ and the Guide to New and Returning Members? Please tell us a little more about yourself :) by Nachos in New Members
Thu Jul 2 6:59 PM

Should it be considered sexual assault?

Thank you DarkOne for clarifying. You beat me to it and saved me the trouble. :-)

And I want it understood that I'm not berating men only with this topic. There are women who engage in this sort of behaviour as well. However, the majority of serious injuries, and all those that resulted in permanent disfigurement happened to males.

PS. Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians! Actually, Happy Canada Day to everyone! by EmilyJane in Random
Wed Jul 1 1:51 PM

what advice would you give to teenage feminists?

Those two trolls are totally giving me flashbacks to when I was 12 and pretending to be other people on AOL while my friend sat next to me also pretending to be someone else. Mind you we didn't declare war on anyone. by Enigma in Feminism
Wed Jul 1 1:01 AM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Jun 30 3:00 AM

I'm too liberal and apparently its going to bite me in the ass

...This is partially my fault for stupidly choosing a profession which seems to attract conservative minded people and also a work place which is weirdly into discussing politics and religion...

I feel for you; I'm in a similar boat, with a few key differences which work to my benefit. 1) My profession itself is not what attracts conservatives, but rather my geographic location. 2) I am not a loner in my more moderate views, there is another vocal woman who honestly does not give a shit what people think of her -- very cool. And 3) If expressing my views at work is career limiting, I am blissfully oblivious.
by DarkOne in Ranting
Fri Jun 26 1:28 PM

NYTimes: "What Makes a Woman?"

Even I, as a cis-woman who rejected a lot of "standard" femininity when I was younger have been enjoying doing my nails and hair. and looking "good". It can be fun! And that is ok. Be a woman the way you want to be. by rowan in Feminism
Thu Jun 25 9:34 PM

Gender and Women's Studies

Welcome to the forums megan, but please do your sex ed interviews for class elsewhere with people in meatspace. You're welcome to discuss your findings and anecdotes with us, but we are not a homework help forum. by Nachos in New Members
Thu Jun 25 4:16 PM

Bra behavior

I have found that I just cannot find good bras in my country. However whenever I go to England (which is often) they have bravissimo and they also have George at Asda who do bras for 4 pounds, pretty, comfortable, and 4 POUNDS! I bought 20 last time I was there. by Nachos in Polls
Thu Jun 25 3:37 PM

Diaper bags

I really liked the look of the 2 in 1 bag at first, but then I thought about all the junk in it that I'd have to strew all over the floor in order to make space for bub in the carry cot, so perhaps not a good idea on reflection. I'm pretty happy with the idea of using a clutch, but my husband really wanted a bag, mostly so that we could pretty much keep it packed and ready to go rather than spending fifteen minutes grabbing stuff every time we want to leave the house. This seemed like a good point, so we bought something cheap with loads of pockets. Will see how much we end up using it. by Gnarlbanya in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Jun 25 9:14 AM

Antidepressants during pregnancy ... ssion.html

Pre and post-partum depression have similar reasons, physically speaking. Check nutrition first. by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Jun 25 1:03 AM