spacefem.com
Spacefem.com is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

name trends

The popularity of Nevaeh is a sign of the apocalypse. I can't get behind that one. I do love the vintage names coming back though.

Isn't Nevaeh another name for a large freckle? I've also encountered some tragically under-researched names like Candida and Melaena (black faeces). All pregnant women should be issued with a medical dictionary at the booking appointment. by Lemon in Pregnancy & Parenting
Mon Jan 26 9:17 AM

A question about rape culture?

But lets go through the feminist logic on this one:

I guess that is why you aren't a feminist. Why do you take minervyx musings in the process of understanding the concept of "rape culture" as representative of all feminist? Minervyx is trying to find his feminist voice which requires a safe place to risk not being able to full articulate what he really trying to say. With your non-constructive criticism and mischaracterizations you raise the risks instead of lower them. You aren't helping.
by cypressdryad in Feminism
Sat Jan 24 7:53 PM

So what are you reading now?

I just decided yesterday that my goal is to read at least 10 books this year by female authors I haven't read before. (I can read other books too but those are the only ones that will count toward the goal) So I took all the suggestions in this thread and have made a list! In addition to a few others I already had on the list. (this is the closest to an actual new year's resolution that I have had in forever) Looks like Octavia Butler may be the first one to check out, since so many of you mentioned her and another friend did too! My friend also recommended The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern so that's on my list now too.
by rowan in Random
Sat Jan 24 2:08 AM

Modeling segregation using game theory

That's really interesting for its modeling of "anti-bias," which points out that merely being against segregation isn't enough to reduce segregation. It also compares to many situations where formerly segregationalist societies become less explicitly segregationalist but still have a low percentage of nonwhite people compared to surrounding states, as this article on Oregon's history describes. by Sonic# in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Fri Jan 23 8:34 PM

In 2015, pledge to support independent feminist communities

oh gosh yes steminist rocks, I was even profiled there!

http://steminist.com/steminist-profile- ... -engineer/

sad to see they're slowing down on updates... honestly though, I kinda blame myself. A vibrant site that gets lots of comments tends to keep the maintainers motivated to keep it fresh.

All - let's help each other out, if you see a fresh article on a blog or website that deserves comments but doesn't have any, post it up here and let's comment bomb it. Encourage the heck out of our fellow feminists who are doing their own thing. Tell them we're from spacefem, or don't, doesn't matter, just show the love. by spacefem in Feminism
Fri Jan 23 2:41 PM

Good feminist comedy

If you have iTunes, go download the newest Comedy of the Week by the BBC (Radio 4) for some good Bridget Christie comedy. I especially appreciate her man in the fridge with yoghurt sketch/discussion :)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/comedy by Nachos in Random
Fri Jan 23 12:46 PM

Not totally new...

You bred tarantulas! That's so cool. I don't think I have the guts to keep one as a pet, but I did gift my best friend a tarantula nearly 8 years ago and it is still alive and living quite happily.
They are so easy and you never have to touch them. I handle a few of my favorites very rarely, but most hobbyists consider them to be display pets, like fish. I only keep new world species, which do not have medically significant venom. Some of mine are so docile/slow, tarantulas are primitive ("dinosaur spiders") and tend to see you as a tree/rock/inanimate object rather than a predator. I haven't been bitten.
by mgaston in New Members
Fri Jan 23 1:36 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Jan 22 3:00 AM

Sweden considers rating the sexism of video games

I like what your list is trying to do, minervyx. One thought: how do you measure independence from men? It brings to mind something like the Bechdel test, though it has a very low price of admission. Is that what you intend, or is there something more substantial?

The Bechdel test succeeds in measuring overall trends in an overall industry, but isn't good for analyzing individual cases.

My definition of independence is quite arbitrary but here's my general gist of things:
by minervyx in Feminism
Wed Jan 21 9:02 PM

mental health and clarity, maybe

*hugs* I hope the current stability helps you sort out a better way to cope. I agree with monk that the disconnect with family and old friends is pretty normal, I went through that for a while and have been trying to be better about it but I still fail a lot of the time. by rowan in Ranting
Wed Jan 21 7:11 PM

It takes 13 million calories to raise a child!

Recently found out how much energy it takes to raise a child. Woah.

I'm pretty infuriated that in Canada it can cost $1,676/month for daycare, when science actually tells us we evolved to help each other raise children. I wrote a blog about this in case anyone is interested! I would really like to see this change for mothers all over Canada.

https://textualorientation.wordpress.co ... ledaycare/ by textualorientation in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed Jan 21 4:32 AM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Jan 20 3:00 AM

Maternity Clothes

As a fat person who is currently pregnant with her second child I will say this. OF COURSE you are allowed to reproduce even if you're chubby. You're allowed to and you can even have a totally healthy pregnancy and a wonderfully healthy child (somehow, despite the fact that my husband and I are both chubby, my daughter is SKINNY - go figure).

I will say this on the topic of maternity clothes though as a fat person. Yes you may be able to wear your regular clothing longer. HOWEVER, maternity clothes make you look pregnant instead of just even fatter. For my own mental health/ego/etc. I really appreciated looking pregnant instead of just fat. Mental health is worth something too. by Metcodon1 in Pregnancy & Parenting
Mon Jan 19 4:17 PM

Because judging other parents is absurd.

Yeah honestly guys, I'm torn on this issue too.

While it's a nice idea to say we should have a sisterhood of motherhood, where do you draw the line? What's crazysauce and obviously wrong to you might easily just be someone else's "personal choice" that they say you have "no right to judge".

So I'd like to reserve my right to judge.

Also, think about this... judging me for being judgy is ALSO kinda judgy, right? It's meta-judgy!

by spacefem in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Jan 25 6:45 PM

Feminist MLP thread!

Oh wow, that Buzzfeed response is awesome! I'm going to hereby cease my practice of apologizing when I share Buzzfeed articles. But ugh, is "meninist" seriously gaining traction? At least the word is so ridiculous it might be harder to take seriously.

Feministing ran a piece in which Bjork addresses music industry sexism:
"I want to support young girls who are in their 20s now and tell them: Youíre not just imagining things. Itís tough. Everything that a guy says once, you have to say five times." by Meperidine in Feminism
Sat Jan 24 8:16 AM

34 Weeks

Probably not. As we pointed out in the other topic, 34 weeks isn't even on the chart because it's so rare:
http://spacefem.com/pregnant/charts/duedate1.php

You'd be better off worrying over a car accident. by Sonic# in Pregnancy & Parenting
Fri Jan 23 11:57 PM

sleep humor

Here's a really funny humor bit about sleep, but the same general idea can apply to pretty much any "advice" given to new parents.

"I bought all the top books on baby sleep and development. I read through them all, as well as several blogs and sleep websites. I gathered lots of advice:"

https://chimericalcapuchin.wordpress.co ... babybooks/ by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Fri Jan 23 7:13 PM

Happy to find you!

Welcome to spacefem! What is your favourite nerdy Thing this very moment?

I'm an editor/proofreader and I'm not quite convinced about the Oxford comma yet. It does make sense and is more logical but sometimes LOOKS wrong. by Nachos in New Members
Fri Jan 23 1:14 PM

Cosmetics and "femininity"

Cosmetics in the most technical sense is not seemingly problematic, however in the more cultural sense there are plenty of bad things to be said. Regardless of biological gender, I don't think it is problematic to want to be "attractive" for another person - but at some point - the point of crude objectification, this 'want' becomes wholly destructive for the individual. I am especially critical of the commercial aspects, and neurotic aspects (e.g. wieght disorders) and such that usually is bundled up with the fashion industry in general, and of coarse, in my mind the elephant in the room - gender construction and reinforcement of stereotypes... by EdwardMatthews in Feminism
Fri Jan 23 4:48 AM

pregnancy and anxiety

Thanks Rowan! I went to the ob/gyn and everything looked normal - it's just that I have a sensitive cervix. So I'm feeling a little less anxious. I still have a couple weeks until the ultrasound, though.

Mathnome - I'm also now at 6 weeks! I haven't had morning sickness, and is it silly that I wish I did? For the kind of reasons you list - it's a clear pregnancy symptom, and apparently miscarriage chances are lower. But like you, I haven't actually seen data on that.

Btw, I recommend Expecting Better if you like to see actual stats. It's written b Emily Oster, an economist (a Ph.D., not a medical doctor - but the thing is she's well-trained in how to interpret research results). Basically, she reviews the literature and presents key data points for all sorts of things, including what you can eat/drink, risks, exercise, etc. I've found it to be incredibly helpful.
by Kate in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Jan 22 6:00 PM

what's your favorite board game?

I've played some of the expansions, but as they belong to friends I'm not sure which ones. I do like Smallworld. And I had forgotten about the Ank-Morkpork game, that was really fun! Honestly there are so many really fun games (many of which we have) it's hard to pick a favorite... by rowan in Random
Thu Jan 22 12:47 AM

New and in need of your input!

Since storage thought it's all right so I took it too. Good luck with your thesis.

Welcome to the forum, I'm sure I'll see your posts as I catch up on my reading from the last few weeks. ;) by rowan in New Members
Wed Jan 21 7:23 PM

Feminism is more than just giving a woman a high-five, friends

Yeah, I agree.

It bothers me when people say "Do you believe women should be equal? Then you're a feminist". Everyone has a different perception of what equality means. There are a lot of people out there who hold and promote sexist views, but genuinely think they're in favor of equality.

It's not enough to just say something vague like "hey, everyone should be equal". There needs to be concrete standards like equal pay for equal work, body autonomy, opposing gender stereotypes and the like. by minervyx in Feminism
Wed Jan 21 4:35 PM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Jan 21 3:00 AM

Stop raising Assholes, America.

I don't really know what it's like to be transgender because I'm not, but I have very long hair and I paint my nails sometimes, and these facts have caused my mom to say shit along the lines of, "Youre a dude, and you shouldn't be doing that." However, I do understand homophobia extremely well, as I live in a shitty town and I used to get bullied (by gold-hearted Christians of course) for liking non-females all through middle school, until eighth grade when I stopped being a pacifist.
by Anarcho-Bronyism in Feminism
Tue Jan 20 2:42 AM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Jan 19 3:00 PM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Jan 25 3:00 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Jan 24 3:00 AM

My experience with Feminism.

I think its hard to put a finger on what im going to refer to as archetypes, masculinity and femininity - my big thing right now, is that I spent years trying to understand these concepts in an exact sort of way, now i'm wondering how much of a grey area really exists in these definitions - but i agree with your formulation - a good point is one emphasized by Marcuse (prob. among others) is that rationale working individually, and specifically - incrementally might work towards pragmatic outcomes, but in a overall sense the outcome might not be pragmatic or rational at all - like each bit of technical development of weaponry is advanced by rationale (technology), but the over all outcome/application of weapon development can be entirely irrational, e.g. the Vietnam war... I think that pertains... by EdwardMatthews in Feminism
Fri Jan 23 11:42 PM

Hello, wanted to share my writing.

also I am a bit dyslexic and tend to make grammatical mistakes and can be sloppy at times, so any help would be appreciated - that's another reason I want to share - is to help work on my writing skills in general, and I've found forums are a great place to do just that...

Also, my actual writing is a bit different then when I'm casually posting... by EdwardMatthews in New Members
Fri Jan 23 4:44 PM

Hi there!

Welcome to spacefem! I wear dresses a lot myself :)

I quite like the Myers-Briggs personality test, it's definitely fun to talk about and a lot of my close friends and I have realised we're usually only one letter apart. Mind you, the results do change with time as your personality changes too. It's certainly not definitive. by Nachos in New Members
Fri Jan 23 1:11 PM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Jan 23 3:00 AM

Accepting worldviews outside of your own

Although I have become more of a lurker here, since real debate is hardly welcome, I simply MUST respond to this.

Please, please, please, don't isolate yourself! You don't change the world by having your own opinion, and isolating yourself with only people who share your every view. You change the world by open and honest discourse, and by exchanging ideas and arguments. Not throwing mud from one isolated community to another.

If you have an opinion on something and you think it is founded in facts, I would recommend debating that opinion with others who do NOT share it (although perhaps not a family member as reunions would get very awkward very quickly). We all know that debating on the internet can evolve into something not so pretty, but in the long run attitudes can be changed. I know this from myself.
by Cicero in Feminism
Thu Jan 22 3:29 PM

Comet Lovejoy C/2014 Q2

I did see it! It was really cool, in binoculars I could actually see the tail. Up close in the big 11" Celestron the nucleus was a bright point of light surrounded by a very huge diffuse coma. APOD has had some pictures too, this one has a really lovely image of the structure in the ion tail (nothing like what I saw just through binocs, haha).

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/1501/lovejoy_popov_1100.jpg by rowan in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Thu Jan 22 12:44 AM

Narcissist Mom

"I'm happy for you but make sure you follow all these arbitrary social customs so it's fun for the rest of us!"
lol yeah. Forget that. ;)

Besides the name will still be a surprise, since you don't know the sex. ;) by rowan in Ranting
Wed Jan 21 7:12 PM

Make a pizza

Local pizza chain LaRosa's
One time at LaRosa's we got two free pizzas! The waitress came over and told us she had accidentally put in for three pizzas instead of one, and they had already made them before she caught the error, and of course they wouldn't charge us, but did we want those now or in a to-go box?
There was a moment of puzzled contemplation while we all thought "wait, really she's offering us those pizzas? For free?" and then we got them to go and ate them for breakfast the next morning.
by octarineoboe in Polls
Wed Jan 21 2:40 PM

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Tue Jan 20 3:00 PM

Your favorite app?

Podcast Republic (free), for downloading and listening to podcasts.
Runtastic (was about £5?) for tracking fitness stuff - it has a bunch of features that are cool. I like that it lets you choose from lots of different types of sports (despite the name), and it lets you add manual entries easily, so you don't have to have it on you and turned on during the activity if that's not convenient (e.g. you're dancing socially and having a fitness app on you GPS tracking you would be weird!).
by Mathmo in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Mon Jan 19 7:47 PM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Jan 19 3:00 AM