is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Bilingual Babies

What I meant is that any kid who is immersed in a language - which your kid will be simply by talking with you - will learn it. Kids do soak up all kinds of things "by osmosis" but that's because they're immersed in culture. This is why we have to spend so much time fighting against cultural things that we don't like, such as my daughter coming home and saying "trains are for boys" when she was younger, despite liking trains, and other things now that she's older. The phrase "kids are sponges" is actually I think very good way of saying they'll pick up things you don't even mean them to pick up, simply because they are immersed in culture. Yes, if you want to teach them something specific, you have to be deliberate, but they will pick up all kinds of other things whether or not you intend them to and whether or not they even realize it's going on. It's really important to recognize this. by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sat Feb 28 4:31 PM

Announcement: Troll the Feminist Forum Friday!

I don't think that does much positive for females to be seen as equal in the eyes of men.

Clearly this guy knows what he's talking about. :slowchildren:
It is easy to partially take someone's statement and misquote it, then mock it. Isn't it?
by great girl wonder in Feminism
Sat Feb 28 5:19 AM

Reducing The Man Problem

Nope, that's not my thing.

The issue is that you also copied the text by that author without clearly attributing it. If I hadn't checked, I would have thought that this:

What more needs to be said? Well, first, let us notice Professor Gearhart’s contrast between “male-identified” women and “woman-identified” women

was your own writing. And I wouldn't have noticed emendations like this:
Her fantasy of achieving a 90% female population through advanced reproductive technology is therefore still a fantasy, more than 30 years after she wrote “The Future — If There Is One — Is Female.” By the way, Professor Gearhart never had children, while “patriarchal culture” has produced more than 2.5 billion children since 1982.
by Sonic# in Feminism
Fri Feb 27 4:10 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Feb 27 3:00 AM

Telemedicine on abortions

As a resident of Idaho, the whole debacle was not surprising and very few people talked about it in my community. Our politicians are typically: white, male, religious, and old. I was lobbying for my school one day, and a legislator said that almost all of the correspondence he receives is for gun rights, the next is pro life stuff. That is when I gave up... What can I do vs. the pulpits and perpetuation of religion in a country where there is allegedly separation of church and state! by zobo in Feminism
Thu Feb 26 9:40 PM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Feb 26 3:00 AM

Self-portrait/Personality drawings.

To give an idea of the kind of inner dialogue I have going on at any time, I'll color-code my response based on which "character" contributed each sentence.

I'm glad that people liked the stories. I guess I put them in spoiler tags because I was afraid people would get bored reading the backstories and stop before seeing all the images. Also, I'm used to putting extra information in spoiler tags to shorten my posts while still including everything I think is relevant. I often get accused of being long-winded.
by C-3PO in Mixed Media
Wed Feb 25 8:08 AM

Hello everyone, nice to meet you!

I'm not an engineer but I teach physics to engineers? Ummmm... not sure that helps lol. I see a lot of Mech E's, fewer Electrical, not a lot of Civil. There are other specialties too, I think there's an Environmental Engineering that's kind of up and coming, might want to look into that? by rowan in New Members
Tue Feb 24 4:18 PM

What are protests supposed to accomplish?

I get this, and I've thought about it a lot. But you know why I think protests are important? Because it's a very accessible way for people to vent, as we do here. Venting in and of itself is not the most important thing, but it is actually very important for our mental health when things are bubbling up and over inside. Protesting is a democratic way for people to gather and show their presence and voice their concerns, especially in the presence of people in power who otherwise do not really care about them, who will feel the inconvenience. And I also don't think there is anything wrong with feeling inconvenienced by another group's protest - yeah, acknowledge the inconvenience, and feel it, but also don't use it as a reason that people shouldn't protest. Try to overcome the inconvenience, and use it as a reminder of their struggle, since that is something they deal with every day. by artemiscuous in Ranting
Mon Feb 23 5:01 PM

How often do you eat?

Eating first thing in the AM generally gets me feeling pretty nauseated so I avoid food and drink water. That's it. By lunch I eat my meal I brought from home at my desk and scrounge for dinner. I try to avoid snacking since I'm at a computer for long periods of time, drive over an hour one way to work, and have no way to get much exercise. Oh, and I don't like eating and view it as a time waster. If I could eat a chicken in one sitting and be good for a month sign me up on how to do that! by DeepThink in Polls
Sun Feb 22 7:52 PM

Racial slurs and vintage merchandise

That store makes me think of people who enjoy selling Nazi memorabilia with some kind of sick pride. I see those stupid confederate flags where I live and even though they aren't appropriate for work people still have those damn things as license plate decorations! I see it as a surefire way to flag the stupid in this country and sometimes do not complain because in some areas it's really useful to know who is um.. out there.

Be careful who you speak to and how you speak to them in real life and online because it can be a small world. I would be surprised she didn't have others complain and after someone told me to sell my wares on Etsy I decided and found another place where I could make more money would be worthwhile. I will not list it here though. Etsy has strict rules on things being handmade and since I deal with technology all the time I'm sure I'd get a lot of hate mail there for what they call cheating. I found racist antiques really weird but people are so happy they hung onto them even if it paints their family in a bad light.
by DeepThink in Ranting
Sun Feb 22 6:42 PM

I hate this woman!!!

This woman may not think she has any other options. Other women I have met may have no living relatives, no job (or work history). They may not be able to support themselves because the area they live in only offers low paying dead end jobs. That being said I did help a coworker leave a horrible situation. I can't tell you how to feel, but it would be better if she had help. There are shelters and 1-800 numbers to call where she would be able to get an escape plan and then have help implementing it. Unfortunately no one can make that decision but her. I just hope it doesn't take the death of a child, in which she could actually be charged as an accomplice since she has stayed for so long in an abusive relationship. Women are judged very harshly for not standing up to a husband like that and they are more likely to get a longer sentence as well.
by DeepThink in Ranting
Sun Feb 22 6:02 PM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Feb 22 3:00 AM

Any room for one more guy?


We've found that way too many people get their "what's a feminist" info from anti-feminists, which is funny to me, like going into a hamburger restaurant and asking how they feel about vegans or something. Might be some biased information there.

So yeah, start here:

I also like sushi :) by spacefem in New Members
Sat Feb 28 3:43 PM


Hello, I've long had an interest in politics, and gender politics are possibly the most interesting facet of this being discussed today, and is certainly in a state of flux.

Although I find some things objectionable about the movement, I would identify myself as an MRA. This is probably because my sources are admittedly largely one-sided, and I would like to see something from the other side. Which I don't believe is actually 'the other side', it seems to me that both movements have almost exactly the same goals and the conflict between them comes from the wagons being circled around a bigoted minority and defended by an otherwise reasonable moderate majority... Or perhaps there is really no conflict between the majority of feminists and the MRAs, but only the loudest voices are heard...
by Ageust in New Members
Sat Feb 28 3:21 AM

A question about rape culture?

Maybe if Bastardia used a serif font? I'm just not buying it with the sans-serif text.

Just like a man you are avoiding the question and attack the victims.
I actually addressed your question awhile back. It even came with this: How much money will you bet me that you'll just ignore it?
So... yeah. by Storage and Disposal in Feminism
Fri Feb 27 3:54 AM

How did you decide how many kids to have?

First 2 were on purpose, 3rd kinda not so much, 4th was totally an oops (when you think things are broken, they have this habit of fixing themselves). Made sure we were done after that. Aside from that, we knew we'd have at least 2, likely 3, but the timing was not at all what we thought we were "planning". Such is life. by MFS in Pregnancy & Parenting
Fri Feb 27 2:42 AM

Breastfeeding & accoutrements thereof

My boobs are small, and this is important for a couple of reasons: At any one time I can only produce a max of about 6 oz.
Actually, the physical size of your boobs doesn't have much to do with how much you produce. There are lots of small-breasted women who produce a lot and lots of large-breasted women who don't. It's mostly genetic and some other variables thrown in (e.g. if there was a lot of BPA in your mom when you were in utero can affect it, we're finding out). by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Feb 26 5:28 PM

Patricia Arquette's Academy Award Speech

I thought she meant that it was time for all women to get equal rights and opportunity. I did fault her for her lack of awareness on intersectionality and perpetuating the idea that when you support equal rights and opportunity for a group you don't identify with you are doing something generous and self-sacrificing.

I did cringe because it seemed that whatever she was really trying to say she did a terrible job at it. I haven't followed up on any clarifications she might have offered, but I am willing to give her another "take" to see if she can be more articulate. by cypressdryad in Feminism
Wed Feb 25 9:00 PM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Feb 25 3:00 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Feb 24 3:00 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Feb 23 3:00 PM

Narcissist Mom

I say next time tell her you're having an alien and it's going to suck out what is left of her brain when you have it. Honestly how can someone say something so ignorant about their own grand child? She's not carrying a fetus to term so why worry about anything other than your health?

You can start making your own trend and mess with people during your pregnancy. Unlike most anything else in the world it's a free hobby so live it up! by DeepThink in Ranting
Sun Feb 22 7:21 PM

Failing hard at being an adult (UPDATE?!)

Congratulations on finding the paper! Don't you feel like doing a back flip when that happens? You have already demonstrated by your post that you are a more mature adult than most people I know because you admitted you were wrong AND you sought to correct it despite what happened. I consider things like these "life lessons". Adults are not perfect but I see it as a victory for you. You: 1 - Obstacle : 0 by DeepThink in Ranting
Sun Feb 22 6:28 PM

Link: WaPo article on the "psychic costs" of writing about feminism online

Frankly I'm sick of it, and I'm tired, and I don't have much energy left. I probably will continue on more or less but being attacked on all fronts, including by colleagues who don't think it's a big deal is really draining. Actually it's the colleagues who are the worst of it. Random internet strangers meh whatever. People I used to have good opinions of?


I dunno what we do about it. Obviously regular channels aren't working, and women aren't being taken seriously. by rowan in Feminism
Sun Feb 22 3:46 AM

Modesty signs are illegal

Well it's always a two way thing isn't it. Why should women have to make all the effort, dressing vastly different to how they normally would? I mean it's nice to be respectful of your "host", but they can also be respectful of their "guests" by not imposing the hardship of having make drastic changes to your way of dress. by AndrewZealand in Feminism
Sat Feb 21 11:21 PM

Help Me Write This Article About The Nature Of Privilege And

As for the social aspect for your article read this short article for inspiration.

and here's another article

Interesting. I took a brief skim through the ways that feminism has helped men, and while I do have a few disagreements here and there (although that may be from a lack of understanding of the era, I'm only young) a lot of it actually makes sense. Clicked the links to check the legitimacy, of course, and they seem to be reasonably valid. I've always been of the opinion that feminism was a very good thing for women of the time, but didn't really start to affect men until recently. by Talking_Pearfruit in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Sat Feb 28 12:10 PM

what computer do you have?

c-3po is that the new one? it looks slick

Nope, actually this is the original Surface Pro. I got it 2 years ago when it first came out. I've heard the newer ones have overheating issues, so I haven't upgraded. It still works really well. by C-3PO in Random
Fri Feb 27 7:21 PM

Snow and ice

Yesterday it was only -10 c and it felt gloriously not insanely cold in comparison to all the -20 we've been getting. I'm starting to suspect it will never be warm again. Also there is about a foot of snow on the ground but its not overly icey. by Enigma in Polls
Fri Feb 27 3:10 AM

Is A Lesbian Being "Manly" Anti-Feminist?

Well yeah I'm sure there are masculine women around who are misogynistic and lesbian women who sexually take advantage of other women. I'd say those things are part of human nature. But of course a lesbian relationship where one of them "wears the pants" and uses a strap on for sex isn't necessarily misogynistic. In fact I think it's possible for a woman who likes to be penetrated to still be fully in control, deciding when penetration will and won't occur. by AndrewZealand in Feminism
Fri Feb 27 2:03 AM

What toothpaste are you using?

Actually that's a good point. The reason I use sensodyne is that for a long time I brushed too hard, and that caused recession of my gums. No dentist until my current one told me not to brush hard, they just yelled at me for "not brushing/flossing enough". So then I just brushed harder which made things worse.

This PSA brought to you by my Who knew? moment. by rowan in Random
Thu Feb 26 4:20 PM

Fuck this hospital.

The flu this year has been pretty bad, one of the strains mutated after the vaccine was made so the protection is lower than usual. :( by rowan in Ranting
Wed Feb 25 4:03 PM

Hello there :)

What does your job involve? What are you required to do?
Mostly right now I teach college students. I teach both physics to majors/engineering students/pre-meds, and astronomy to non-majors. I don't do any astro research right now, though I'm doing some PER (physics education research). Maybe once this big project I'm doing finishes in the summer I might look around for some astro data from friends to get back in that game.

Also I feel that one should start a career in something they love to do and are good at :)
by rowan in New Members
Tue Feb 24 4:31 PM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Feb 24 3:00 AM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Feb 23 3:00 AM

Control your dogs please

Dog whistles, instruments, and trying to get an older man to tell the one ass under his roof to respect others won't work. Etta strikes me as the type who is not happy no matter what happens. I say call Animal Control and get the dog (s) to bite you. Stay with me on this for a second. Report it and even call CPS and explain the situation out of fear and safety for your kid, but check and see to make sure they don't take J from you. Quite frankly the dogs should have been removed and Etta and A should have been out on their asses a while ago. I see no reason to stay in such a horrible marriage or to have been married to such an awful person to begin with.
by DeepThink in Ranting
Sun Feb 22 7:09 PM

Meghan Trainor does it again: "Dear Future Husband"

This is high on the gross scale and makes women look terrible, aside from what she wears as clothing. Lyrics to her other songs annoy me to no end either and when she's on the radio I put in a CD or change it. This song makes me think of the infamous List, where women list all the things their perfect future husband must have, be able to do, etc. He must be at least 6' tall, make X$ amount of money, have a certain kind of parents, drive a certain car, etc. It's all unrealistic and will leave one disappointed every time. I've even had guys ask me about my "List". I don't have one but damn I feel sorry for what some men have been put through.
by DeepThink in Ranting
Sun Feb 22 6:18 PM

I'd like to introduce UNISEXISM

I'm for letting men & women do what is natural for them and for teaching children that nature creates men and women of a vastly different shapes and sizes and to learn to accept that. And for discouraging children from thinking that the world belongs only to "normal" people. by AndrewZealand in New Members
Sun Feb 22 3:34 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Feb 21 3:00 AM