spacefem.com
Spacefem.com is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

<peeks in> Hi

Thanks! I feel Ike without the capital it's too obvious there in an "ass" in the middle of mine, and I'd rather not focus on that :D by Sassquatch in New Members
Thu May 28 7:05 PM

You should go see Mad Max

Oh man. This movie was so good. I was a bit worried that people would be telling me to see it JUST because of the MRA hate, rather than because it's an actually good movie. It's amazing and I can't wait to go see it again. I loved the "women saving other women" and also "women savings themselves" aspects. by Bork in Feminism
Wed May 27 9:45 PM

Yeah, babe, you're a feminist

There are some people I've known who have moved beyond feminism in a way that I found compelling, even if I disagreed with it. In all of their cases, they also moved through feminism first, and continue to acknowledge an intellectual and historical debt to feminists in their writing and conversations. They aren't distancing, but finding further bodies of ideas (like materialism, queer theory) to center themselves. Tellingly, they wouldn't be offended if they were called a feminist.
by cypressdryad in Feminism
Wed May 27 5:25 PM

Flying during third trimester

Thanks, I love the part about not being able to lower the tray table all the way :) I never would have thought of that.

Normally, my doctor said not to do aspirin or ibuprofen for pain relief, but only tylenol (acetemenophen) and even that only if -absolutely- needed after trying other remedies (like heat pack, cold pack, resting with lights closed eyes shut, etc). But the directions for flying specifically say to take one baby aspirin (81mg) a day for three days before the flight as well as the day of the flight to prevent blood clots. My guess is the risk of such a small dose is outweighed by the benefit of not getting blood clots for this particular situation. by ablotial in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed May 27 2:03 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere

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Tue May 26 3:00 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon May 25 3:00 PM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon May 25 3:00 AM

how many chairs do you have?


1) This stupid stubborn spoiled ignorant ghetto bitch--who was my roommate for 2 months and ditched because she has no idea how the adult world works and didn't want to pay for utilities--left me with this atrocious 70s orange velvet couch that probably once doubled as an ashtray (and I'm ashamed to admit that it is the most comfortable piece of shit my ass has ever had the pleasure of resting upon);



Because I was skimming and not reading I thought you were stating that you sat on the person, not the sofa they left behind. by monk in Random
Sun May 24 7:30 PM

Bestest polyhedron!

I think it's the fault of this topic I dreamed last night I had to draw a Parallelepiped on a board. And while Iooking up how to actually type that word in English, I found out I did it wrong :( by iamthegate in Polls
Sat May 23 5:46 AM

New member..

welcome, introduce yourself a bit! :) how did you find us, what drew you here? If you're not sure of things to say the guide at the top has some suggestions. by rowan in New Members
Fri May 22 4:26 PM

getting along while doing things differently

I'm finding it interesting that some people I've encountered (online) presume that if they know one of your pregnancy or parenting preferences or opinions, they can extrapolate them all. For example, in discussing pain relief options recently, after expressing my desire not to have an epidural it was also assumed that I would forego vaccinations for my child and would be automatically pro home VBAC. When I made it clear that this wasn't the case, people were more annoyed than they would have been had I just said I wanted an epidural. There seems to be a really odd sort of tribalism around many of these choices, and a strange playground mentality whereby you can't deviate from the 'norm' (made harder to navigate because different groups have very different norms). For me, my preference to go without an epidural is not out of any desire to have a more natural experience but more because I want to be able to walk around and I find the idea of having a catheter just horrible. That doesn't mean that I judge anyone else's choices or motives that differ from mine, though. I do think it's worth remembering that people may make identical choices for very different reasons. by Gnarlbanya in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed May 20 9:11 AM

What college degree would you get for fun?

26 was a rough age for me when I realized that I hated working in a public school and was just dissatisfied with my previous education and career choices. By the time I turned 27, I realized that this was my late twenties and I had all of this glorious research and road maps to my future. Here's hoping that I have more tangible skills and a career that I enjoy by the time I'm 30.

I'm kind of in the same boat. Well, not really. But I got off track during my early 20s and tried a few things that I didn't like at all (nursing is not for me) and now I'm trying to get back in school and get a different degree but it's a million times harder because I have a kid now. Even if I were to start in the fall (which I probably won't for complicated logistical reasons) I would be pushing it to be done with everything by the time I'm 30. by loomy in Careers & Education
Tue May 19 4:29 AM

~ Hi Y'all ~

Hello and welcome to the spacefem forums! As long as your posts are respectful and not spam, you can post answers in any thread you feel like. However please read the FAQ to see what might and might not be alright :)

You sound like a pretty cool person. This quote someone sent me seems to resonate deeply with you, and maybe you too?

http://www.feminisms.org/main/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/blog1-269x325.jpg
by Nachos in New Members
Sun May 17 11:36 PM

IA IA CTHULHU FTHAGHN... or something

I did have a kitchen painted in lime green and ... I dunno.... indigo, I guess. When I rented out my house, the first thing the tenants did was paint over it, but it was pretty awesome while it lasted. by Sassquatch in New Members
Thu May 28 3:44 AM

if you need to breastfeed, please cover yourself

I girded myself for this battle because everyone has horror stories, but I got nothing but support. I actually sort of found it went the other way and I got slightly dirty looks when I was bottle feeding, and lots of smiles when I was breastfeeding.

I found I hid out more at people's houses just to avoid distractions and give myself a break, but no one ever asked me to. I'm sure that's really dependent on the individuals you're visiting. by Sassquatch in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed May 27 7:47 PM

cosleeping

I'm fully prepared for all plans to go out the window - the ultimate goal will be sleeping (for everyone) so if we have to add the 'co', so be it.

Now I'm expecting my second baby (31 weeks along).
31 weeks here, too! by Gnarlbanya in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed May 27 10:34 AM

I like an American girl and I am Israeli (unfortunately)

The only thing I gave to say is there might be some American women that might not like you because your from Israel and there will be some that don't care. Most people I know don't look at people like nations they separate the too. Like monk just stated there are some people who would actually look at your nationality as a positive thing. I really don't think you being Israeli would turn most Americans off. by Amuro in Ranting
Wed May 27 12:19 AM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue May 26 3:00 AM

What do you use to clean glass?

The only house windows we clean with any sort of regularity are the ones on the sliding door to the balcony. We have two cats and a dog, so the doors get covered with nose marks from about knee level down :P I think we did the other windows once... and we'll do them again before we move out next month. by ablotial in Random
Mon May 25 2:19 PM

That Sexist Gamer Girl

I've come across a couple of female youtuber-gamers who are very "Anti-Anita". One of them was so determined to spite Anita that she shoved her boobs in the camera at the end and said "Hey boys!" or something like that. There was another woman who did a youtube against Anita and Feminist Frequency and her attitude and way of speaking resembled that of the many men who oppose Anita.

I was disappointed to once read Roberta Williams, co-founder of Sierra On-Line and pioneer in adventure gaming, say in a interview that she wasn't aware of prejudice against female game developers and said something like "the only thing stopping you is you". As much as I respect Roberta, she makes me wonder about "Queen Bee" types who almost support gaming as a boy's club, with the exception of themselves. They're not very supportive of women who want to be involved and have experienced hostility. by AndrewZealand in Ranting
Mon May 25 12:03 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun May 24 3:00 AM

Sarcasm alert: all male panels :thumbup:

^The issue actually is that we need women to replace some of the men.

I see a lot of this in my field. Some organizations (I am thinking mostly of the American Culinary Federation) are worse than others. I think things are very slowly changing in the food service industry, I am trying to do my part by pulling up talented young chefs who are women with me. Have found some good allies who are men. by Rainbow Dolphins in Feminism
Sat May 23 3:04 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri May 22 3:00 AM

Internet Atheists tend to be Misogynists.

I was only really talking about the manist, "New Atheists" that spew crap all over the internet - not every atheist ever. I'm sure plenty of atheist are not assholes, its just Dawkins and crowd are representing this new internet atheism in a really bad way...

https://shadowtolight.wordpress.com/201 ... -atheists/

From the Article: "It is becoming increasingly obvious that the New Atheists are a fringe movement of extremists and crackpots. We can tell because there are many atheists and secular humanists who do not embrace the movement, but instead seek to distance themselves from it."
by EdwardMatthews in Feminism
Wed May 20 5:57 AM

On double standards

Yeah, I have definitely heard from men who've experienced that bias. And even if a guy is in the act of parenting a kid, he might then experience assumptions that he doesn't know what he's doing or is desperately awaiting the return of a woman who is the actual caretaker. (Fathers/uncles/male caretakers are constantly portrayed in media as clueless and bumbling when presented with baby- or child-related tasks, which doesn't help.) My own father said he took me on a plane when I was an infant and had about four separate older women cluck and rush to offer him assistance, as if he were obviously incompetent with me (which I know that he was not). Meanwhile my mother, who traveled often for work when I was 2 and up, was constantly getting shade thrown at her for "leaving her babies alone" when in fact she left us with our father, who was perfectly capable. Because they both worked and both took care of us, it never occurred to me growing up that the capability of a parent to do either would be limited by their sex/gender. But unfortunately, many people do grow up with the social idea that women are primary caretaker material and the love of a male parent is inadequate or inferior.
by Meperidine in Feminism
Mon May 18 9:01 PM

were you ever not a feminist?

my mom was a strong woman and father always encouraged me to question life. guess i always ignored sexism and probably came off as a misogynist at times. then around my mid 20's i started to realize how fucked up our society was and to examine it. i'd say i've been a feminist since my mid early 30's, 40 now. by Davngr in Feminism
Sun May 17 11:00 PM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu May 28 3:00 AM

A tale of ten tummies

"Policing of women's bodies" means the opposite of promoting body acceptance. It's a pretty standard way of referring to anything controlling women's bodies, such as that they have to look a certain way etc.

I admit the phrasing in the OP was a bit confusing but pretty sure that's what was meant - that this counters that by promoting acceptance.

Yup, that is exactly what I meant. Sorry if it was confusing. by iamthegate in Feminism
Wed May 27 5:48 PM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed May 27 3:00 AM

The case for engineering our food

^Yeah I have a ton of problems with some of the the corporate side of things, particularly the patents and single strain stuff, but not GMO itself. It's complicated (as with anything) but never seems to actually get beyond the ZOMG SCAREEEEEE stage. It bugs me that there are real actual issues we should be discussing, but the fear factor makes that nearly impossible.

I also think that people vilify the scientists who work on GMO but seriously they're just trying to improve things, it's not like they're out to get people. Which isn't to say there aren't mistakes, or things don't go right, or sometimes when things get out into the real world they don't behave like in the lab. But all in all they're trying to actually improve people's lives. by rowan in Science Technology Engineering & Math
Tue May 26 9:56 PM

I would Just like some femnist thought on this

Hello just to start and get this out of the way. I am a Male, and I don't agree with.....well just about anything with modern feminism today, mostly because of what I have seen, and a lot of the article I read. However I am here to try and hopefully find out that these stories I here and articles I read are not true feminist, and that actual feminist are capable of seeing logic, and not intentionally misrepresent anything that disagrees with them. So I was hoping a few of you could answer some question I have, about some things I have come across.
by Wolf in Pregnancy & Parenting
Tue May 26 12:30 AM

'ello

Excellent! A friend and I were recently talking about how we tend to play male characters on video games because the females are often weaker and scantily clad. A few weeks ago she started up a female character on a game just for fun, and suddenly got all kinds of dumb comments from other players ... people who she'd been playing with for a long time and had assumed she is male. Giving comments about her character's clothing, having their characters come over and hump hers, etc. So stupid. by ablotial in New Members
Mon May 25 2:17 PM

Is it common for Feminists to dislike Israel ?

I searched for Israel to see if we've talked about it... not much, truthfully.

2008: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=36295
2011: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=46173
2012: viewtopic.php?f=33&t=46136
by spacefem in Feminism
Sun May 24 10:05 PM

hello.

OK I'm sorry I'm seriously confused. What word/wording are we supposed to be arguing so hard against?

I mean I don't like it when people are assholes so I'll probably say something if they call someone the n word or something.. is that what you're arguing against?

it's mostly about how people take away from the actual important issues by associating feminism with word policing people and being angry.
by Enigma in New Members
Sat May 23 3:15 PM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat May 23 3:00 AM

Israeli male feminist- hi everyone !

Welcome!

For what it's worth, as an American, reform Jewish feminist, I'm frustrated with the Orthodox rabbinate's stranglehold on Israeli politics and how that plays out with gender issues around marriage, gender segregation at religious sites and on buses, vigilante "enforcement" of "modesty" standards, etc. But that's not at all the same as despising Israel or giving up feminist hope for it! In fact I think Israeli feminists are doing amazing work and in some secular ways (most notably women in the army) Israel is way ahead of the U.S. Also I had an amazing time when I visited there in 2009 and I'd love to go back. My partner and I were just recently discussing the joys of shawarma with french fries in the pita. Yum.
by TomBecker in New Members
Wed May 20 7:10 PM

did you have a blanket as a kid?

I absolutely had a blanket called Pooh-bet (I think this is short for Pooh-blanket?) with Winnie the Pooh on it. It and I were completely inseparable and I couldn't sleep without it. I actually still have it, and while digging through an old drawer the other day I felt it and knew instantly what it was. It's weird, I haven't used it regularly since around age 12-13 (I'm guessing the constancy of having it amid the tumultuousness of my parent's divorce contributed to my dependence on it lasting into my pre-teens), but the feeling of it is still oddly calming. by Eravial in Random
Tue May 19 6:08 PM

My mom's hip again

This is heart-breaking, I can't believe that your mother has an injury and also has to worry about whether or not she can pay rent because of it. In an ideal nation, the government would provide a little financial assistance (as far as rent, utilities) until your mother was healed enough to return to work with accommodations.

Maybe get some free legal advice online, see if there are attorneys or even law students who can help you clarify the laws of your state. I would definitely recommend recording all conversations with HR if it's legal where you live. by Zeph in Ranting
Mon May 18 3:23 PM

"A guy would never be comfortable asking another guy..."

just remain unattached or you'll drive yourself nuts.
Yeah, I really need to figure out how to.

I'm really noticing how defensive people get when it comes to comedy
I feel I would do it, too. I wonder why that is. I mean, it's comedy!

One of the things that got to me was that no one had been like "Hey, good point." or gave me a +1 or anything. Usually there's at least one person who agrees with you, haha. But oh well. I think the video was too old for people to give a shit about the second time I responded to it. Never got any notifications of a response. by Storage and Disposal in Ranting
Sat May 16 4:10 PM