is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Latest Forum Replies

How big is your television?

ooooh I can be THAT PERSON
because I don't currently have a TV!

(this is not a moral stance, it's just that I moved and the person I lived with kept the TV and the other various people that I'm moving in with have one) by octarineoboe in Random
Tue Feb 21 11:48 PM

stuffed animals

I wanted to get our kid a stuffed animal before they were born. I was trying to assign some sort of personality to the kid by thinking up how to make an armadillo or something. Spouse convinced me to wait because we would inevitably get stuffed animals. There are far too many and they're almost all polyester crap that feels gross and sticky on my hands, even when new. For a while there was just one that the kid wanted to take everywhere, then two. It had gotten bad enough that I have had to say goodnight to eight different stuffed toys plus the blanket called "towel". Luckily after a trip away with only one, we have resisted the growing bed accumulation, though there are currently three. by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting
Tue Feb 21 9:51 PM

Broke my damn finger

I wish my body would just say, "Oh, no, this is definitely sprained/broken and you shouldn't keep doing this thing." Ditto. Sometimes, adreneline is a jerk.

:hand: May you heal quickly and fully. by melsbells in Ranting
Tue Feb 21 8:21 PM

How comfortable do you feel asking about someone's race?

I will admit that would make me back away slowly. Here's why: It's an interesting question but as soon as I think about that situation my PTSD gets triggered. Here in a text environment I can manage to not actually contemplate answering the question but rather contemplate the question in a meta way (so this is not triggering me). But in a social situation where I'd feel like I was "supposed" to answer I would very very likely be triggered or at the very least find it incredibly invasive. by rowan in Random
Tue Feb 21 7:06 PM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Feb 21 3:00 PM

Dialogue principles

I have mixed feelings about the points in the article. I'd never considered the concept of unity t be problematic, but after reading this, I have no problems ditching a requirement for unity and advocating instead for inclusiveness and dialogue even if it is at the expense of offending a few in the majority. But I'm struggling to understand the rationale behind some of the "answers" the author demands specifically of white women.
- I need to know that when Trump comes for my undocumented family, these women will literally put their bodies on the lines for us.
by DarkOne in Feminism
Tue Feb 21 1:19 PM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Feb 21 3:00 AM

The "biological argument"

WHOA! I saved this thread to pocket, because it's got some great stuff on here I would never have thought to research.

Are there are things like women getting testicular cancer which demonstrate how incredibly muddied these waters actually are? For a non-biologist science-phile like myself, that's exactly the sort of factoid that would be convenient to have on hand. Links to sources would be amazing too. I mean, I'm a championship Googler, but an actual credible source would be very useful (being useful is the reason you shared this post I'm assuming. :p) by tomokun in Feminism
Mon Feb 20 9:41 PM

what art are you making?

I've been trying to be consistent with my art journaling. I'd post images, but I'm too lazy to put them up on an image site right now.okay, I'm gonna see if this works. here! not exactly an image hosting site though. by rinn in Mixed Media
Mon Feb 20 7:28 PM

Performance reviews

Performance reviews where I work are a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. My annual performance review form is due this week, so I was literally working on it today.

The way our formal process is supposed to work:
(1)At the beginning of the year, my supervisor hands me down a list of enterprise goals related to my industry (for example, reaching sales goals, reaching program milestones, reaching professional development goals...)
by DarkOne in Careers & Education
Mon Feb 20 6:16 PM

hey, it's me and my idea

I was reading Felicia Day's autobiography, and she describes having an in-person pancake meet where she would talk with other women writers/actors, set goals, and share advice. It seemed to work for her. As rowan said, we don't have a group like that in place here, but I'll certainly read what you have to say and give encouragement within reason. :)

Welcome! by Sonic# in New Members
Mon Feb 20 4:08 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Feb 20 3:00 PM

Why are men so ready to complain...

@Taurwen I agree with you so much that people in privilege are the first to complain!! Like I have that privilege obviously but I would give up anything for equality I wouldn't even mind if woman had that privilege. I makes me so mad when people with privilege complain.

In general I do agree that those with privilege are the first to start whining by Mr1of6 in Feminism
Mon Feb 20 4:44 AM

Why SpaceFEM?

I am a male (who is straight) and I would consider myself a 'feminist'. Lots of the comments and posts on here I connect with thats why I made an account so I could contribute to this group of strong woman. by Mr1of6 in Feminism
Mon Feb 20 4:24 AM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Feb 20 3:00 AM

Inclusion vs. revolution: "Bourgeois Feminist Bullshit"

I'm also stuck somewhere between these comments:

Still, after agreeing strongly with Nairs's point of view and not having read the book being criticized, or any other books by Traister, I'm still curious if the criticism is fair. I think any movement needs a certain amount of meet-them-where-they-are. If I'm talking to someone who falsely believes that global warming is a hoax, I would expect a better chance of being heard out in the matter of water conservation if I focus on the financial benefit instead of the environmental.
by Sonic# in Feminism
Sun Feb 19 4:30 PM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Feb 19 3:00 AM

If America's First?

The mock videos do a good job of pointing out America's infantile political system. Only immature nations and societies who believe in zero sum game non-sense think that they're number one. There's no "I" in TEAM and there's no end point on a circle. Everyone on this planet is equal, despite what window dressing they think makes them special. by Aum in Random
Sun Feb 19 2:42 AM

Donald Trump? :(

As terrified as I am about what will happen during this presidency and its extended effects, I am proud to know so many people who are not going to just let it happen.

I'm not US citizen, but I get what you mean. We outsiders also worry about his presidency, considering US has a big influence world-wide. And, I have the feeling his mandate won't last. I hope it won't. by felipefs in New Members
Sun Feb 19 1:23 AM

I just want my bank to be dependable and not evil

Next January. I'll inquire about Nech's suggestion. When we opened this account, I discovered that it's on the bank to close the old account and transfer your money to their institution for you, but I can't see how that could actually be required of us to accept. I'll find out tomorrow. by melsbells in Ranting
Sat Feb 18 8:54 PM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Feb 18 3:00 AM

Not really sure how to ask this tactfully...

But, if you're worried about tact, might I suggest that you include why you're asking?

Yeah that'd probably be best heh. I'm looking to transition myself actually, and just getting my feelers out to see what others know. by Nech in Random
Sat Feb 18 1:24 AM


Welcome to the spacefem forums! I also have a bachelor in Biology, yay! Penguins are indeed, amazing. :penguin: by Nachos in New Members
Fri Feb 17 3:29 PM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Feb 17 3:00 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Feb 16 3:00 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Feb 15 3:00 AM

Lack of women in music lists

Thanks for these interesting answers. The list I gave as an example is based on ratings by anyone who votes on that website. I found another top 100 on, based on logarithms using lots of list by music critics. Joni Mitchell, Carole King, Patti Smith and Portishead are in that one, so it's more dominated by classic rock, but the amount of women remains roughly the same.

Teen pop, dance and R&B seem to be the genres with most women, but those are often looked down upon by critics. The genres with the least women are heavy metal, hip hop and alternative rock. In the 90s there was a new generation of rock singers: Björk, Tori Amos, PJ Harvey, Sinéad O'Connor, Alanis Morissette, Heather Nova, Garbage, Skunk Anansie... There are many great female soul singers, but the standard opinion seems to be, "Yes, they're good, but we'll still put twenty male rock bands or rappers in front of them."
by Medea in Mixed Media
Tue Feb 14 1:21 AM

what's the last movie you saw?

Amazon Women on the Moon was fun. Late 80s sketches, big hair, loch ness monster as Jack the Ripper, etc. Most notably:


Grier's delivery get me every time. by Neko in Mixed Media
Tue Feb 14 12:22 AM

what are you reading?

I'm reading a couple of things.

Today I started "Why Feminism?" by Lynne Segal. It's quite an old book (1999), but maybe it's a start point for me.

I'm in the middle of the first chapter, and so far she explained differences of feminism during its different generations (70s to 90s), and some political contexts. Makes me wonder if there's some good source about the 2000s and 2010s generations (if there's a distinction). I imagine there is... thanks to a thing called internet.
by felipefs in Mixed Media
Sun Feb 12 9:58 PM

What are you binge watching right now?

"Secret Army" is a BBC drama series from the eighties. It's about the Belgian Resistance during World War II. "Allo Allo" was a parody on this. It's also with a bartender/restaurant holder (Albert) organizing an escape line for RAF pilots. Kessler is the Gestapo officer trying to stop them. Women play an important role in this escape line. Monique and Natalie work as a waitress in the Candide, Albert's restaurant, while secretly accompanying pilots to safe houses and performing other dangerous missions. When Albert is in prison based on a false accusation Monique has to stand in for him and make the decisions. In spite of organizing the escape line many Belgians think they are collaborators, which gives them new problems near the end of the war.
by Medea in Mixed Media
Sun Feb 12 2:32 PM

Ariel wasn't a patriarchal shill of a character?

I'd draw a distinction between two questions:
1. Whether Ariel is a shallow character;
2. Whether and how the film balances romance with self-development.
For instance, I'd say Pride and Prejudice imagines the happiness of Elizabeth to lie in having a particular kind of companionate marriage for love - she needs a man for love and not just convenience. Yet that doesn't make Elizabeth a shallow character. She has many more interests and concerns going on than Mr. Darcy - the well-being of her sisters, her friend Charlotte, her father. She has plenty of curiosity and wit.
by Sonic# in Feminism
Fri Feb 10 8:36 PM


I admit that vasectomies and Vasalgel make me feel squeamish. But what DarkOne's saying about IUDs, implants, and hormones also makes a lot of sense - most of the contraceptive strategies for women are at least as invasive. Perhaps many people also feel squeamish about those options; yet I'd guess that women experience more encouragement or pressure to undergo them than men. If I can accept and benefit from the widespread array of contraceptives women receive, it seems fair that I also accept some of that risk, that I get a ball or two in the game. Once my partner and I have a kid or two, I'll have to seriously look into it.
by Sonic# in Science & Technology
Fri Feb 10 7:56 PM

Feminism and pro-life

I agree with most of this, especially the idea that the stakes for women's health are real and substantial enough that a ban on abortion will force doctors to make worse decisions. I also agree with Spacefem's idea that even if we're thinking pragmatically any feminist who's pro-life should seek to reduce the kinds of maltreatment that phrases like "collateral damage" don't do justice for. And I think if the goal is reducing abortions while improving quality of life, one needs at minimum to recognize what access to contraceptives and sex education do to reduce the rate of unwanted pregnancies, and conversely to recognize that a total ban doesn't necessarily reduce the abortion rate.
by Sonic# in Feminism
Fri Feb 10 7:46 PM

Participate in a Thesis Study of Feminist Perspectives

Yeah, I appreciate what you're doing, but this is in our FAQ's.

Homework help

We are tired of new members joining our forum just to post up a survey or ask questions for a paper you're writing about how feminists are. If you want to join our community, reply to some threads, be one of us and still have questions or want us to help you with a project, that might be okay. Please join for a week and get 8-12 posts under your belt before asking us for something. Also, the forum does have a search box that works quite well.
by Nachos in New Members
Fri Feb 10 2:16 PM

smooth or rough surfaces?

what about groovy surfaces?
Those only existed in the 70's.
You need to buy some Mikesell's potato chips
Google is telling me that is not possible in my area. by Enigma in Random
Thu Feb 9 1:41 AM

Are you a good listener?

Weirdly, I'm a better listener when I wear my glasses. Having more visual stimulus helps me remember more and pay attention, as well as be able to perceive better. So I guess I'm maybe not a good listener since I need the visual input..? by antfancier in Random
Wed Feb 8 4:00 PM

What games are you playing?

I still play Pokemon Go when I walk between the train station and work.

I've been playing Dragon Quest VIII on the 3DS. As characters level up, I can invest points in one of five specific skills they have, usually four weapons and some personal quality. The hero has courage, Yangus has humanity, Jessica has sex appeal, and Angelo has charisma. I've found myself refusing to dump points in sex appeal, and doing nothing but dumping points in Angelo's charisma. by Sonic# in Mixed Media
Tue Feb 7 2:31 PM

what's your favorite graphical pattern?

I don't think I have a favorite pattern but I hate houndstooth.

I didn't know what that was until I googled it...but all I could see was this: by Nech in Random
Tue Feb 7 7:08 AM

Women's self defense

One of the things my model mugging class taught was getting yourself down on the floor and lying on your side and using one leg to kick with a stomping-like motion, aiming in particular for knees. For many women, the legs are much more powerful than the arms. There was never any talk of grabbing anyone's junk, though. by Galen in Random
Mon Feb 6 3:39 PM