is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Latest Forum Replies

"Life: The Leading Edge" of demonstrating the profound sexism in science

"Life: The Leading Edge of Evolutionary Biology, Genetics, Anthropology, and Environmental Science" is a collection of 18 essays written by 23 contributors, who represent the "leading" thinkers on the subject. All 23 contributors and the editor, John Brockman (of, happen to be men. More biology PhDs are being awarded to women than men these days, but sexism at the higher levels is still rampant. Far fewer women gain tenure-track faculty positions than men, and somehow one of the top purveyors of popular science managed to edit a book without realizing or caring that there was not a single woman involved in the finished product. This is very disappointing, as this compilation does contain some excellent scientists and writers and was widely anticipated in the biological sciences community.
by Eravial in Science & Technology
Sat May 28 3:12 AM

Context, Intent, Language, Tribalism - the missing variables of Social Justice discussions?

I have talked in the past how I see Feminism as three different things:
1. A philosophy
2. A movement
3. A culture

<...> any discussions which can be construed as critical should acknowledge the fact that these things are mutually exclusive, and while they are connected criticisms of one "thing" of feminism are not necessarily a reflection on any other aspects.
Maybe you'll dismiss everything else I have to say, but I don't see these three aspects as mutually exclusive, but instead distinct. I do think it's still a useful distinction for your question though, because my answer would be a resounding "NO" when thinking about the philosophy and timid "no" with hopes that it wouldn't diminish inclusivity in the case of the culture aspect.
by melsbells in Feminism
Fri May 27 10:31 PM

Hello :D

I tend to appreciate terms of conduct and safe places. This forum definitely has a terms of conduct (the faq and quide for new and returning members) and not only do I find the terms easy to comply with, but I also have a sense of the necessity for those rules. I generally support terms of conduct even in public locations, such as libraries and schools (within reason of their terms my support has room for civil disobedience). I suppose one might say this forum has a safe places within it, but the main forums are far too open to trolls to really feel like a safe space. If other forums want to make their forums safer safe places than this forum, I support that, which may or may not be connected to your banning.
by melsbells in New Members
Fri May 27 9:15 PM

Do you hate men? (Split from Feminist FAQ)

That's happening in the Western world too...Feminists also got the ball rolling here.
Feminist advocating for parental care in the USA ? How many are they ? Like 1 or 2 ? :D

For starters Western World=/=USA. There's also a hell of a lot more in the states then just 1 or 2. You seem really poorly informed and are making borderline racial judgments (judging someone on what you think you know of their country, not what actually happens). by Nech in Feminism
Fri May 27 4:54 PM

Like Us On Facebook

Fri May 27 3:00 PM

what are you reading?

I listened to almost all of the Valdemar books by Mercedes Lackey over the past few months. I might have to do a mass review at some point since there were lots of female characters and some reoccurring themes I'd like to talk about. When I was younger, they were the first books I ever read that had gay and lesbian characters.

Now I'm on non-Valdemar books and just finished The Serpent's Shadow. by Neko in Mixed Media
Fri May 27 4:25 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri May 27 3:00 AM

Woman's Beauty in Art


Well in this sense, beauty standards are what is being represented as most beautiful in mainstream media. Though, there will always be a crowd's favorite. I think it's bad when it sees only outer beauty as important or when it is achieved via harmful practices such as surgery or if shaming is occurring. I think a lot of romance anime emphasize on developing the character's personalities as much as, if not more than, their outer looks. You have no idea, trust me, I live off of them xD. Also, since it's drawn, it isn't casting any real people who undergo plastic surgeries and the such. And finally, no one shames woman for not looking like anime girls as far as I know.
by Lou in Feminism
Thu May 26 10:52 PM

Weirdest thing boss has told you.

My boss specifically told me to answer the phone if he and my coworker were out of the office, and then when I did the question was apparently a political minefield I was too new to know about, and he sort of scolded me for trying to handle it (although my intention had never been to deal with it myself - I wanted to find out from the caller what they wanted, and then take that to my boss).

This is also my first archives job, and my boss likes labeling things in ink, which is fine in my day-to-day work life but when I started to read a bit in the archival blogosphere I realized very quickly it is NOT standard archival practice.
by octarineoboe in Careers & Education
Thu May 26 10:33 PM

it gets better thread for parents

There was a point in time when my kid was still an infant that I feared that I would never be able to ride a bike, use my prefered method of menstruation sanitation, have intercourse, or sit down ever again. I can do all those things! Breastfeeding didn't last forever. I'm no longer concerned about milk leaking everywhere, drenching my shirts. I had convinced myself that sleep deprivation would last indefinitely, but the kid somehow started sleeping through the night, seemingly based on none of the contradictory expert advice we attempted to follow. We can have fun together. I can do chores and ask the toddler to help and the kid actually helps. Of course we're still working on things and there are places I want the kid to be developmentally and they're just not there yet, but now it no longer feels like things will never get there. by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu May 26 10:19 PM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu May 26 3:00 AM

what's the last movie you saw?

The Witch, very good! Though some parts are only explained in the interviews which is odd. :4houses: by Nachos in Mixed Media
Wed May 25 10:56 AM

What is your favourite eating utensil?

Yes MFS!

But yes, the pros of both forks and spoons with a sharp edge of a knife :) by Nachos in Polls
Wed May 25 10:27 AM

What does Yahweh mean to you?

It's how Jews call God.
Except it's not really! It's a stand-in used to represent God's name, because the actual name is not supposed to be written down or spoken except in prayer. So yeah, it kind of appears in Jewish writings (only kind of because only in Hebrew, I've never seen the English spelling written out in a Jewish text), but that doesn't mean it's the name of God per se.
by Nachos in Polls
Wed May 25 10:26 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed May 25 3:00 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue May 24 3:00 PM

Polling Ethics and Native Appropriation

I bet if a team had a name that offended an influential racial voting block the powers that be would have come down on it like a ton of bricks. The fact that the team is in the nation's capital just makes it worse. by Tweek in Random
Tue May 24 10:27 AM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue May 24 3:00 AM


Pretty funny actually, I just finished watching an interview on TV with an athiest and a sheikh (my country is mainly islam). They were crystallizing the athiest, who is a former sheikh, for:

_Declaring his athiesm.
_"Insulting" religions.

The sheikh started assuming that all non-believers inevitably become a danger to society.
He went on to say "The world needs a creator", somehow thinking that if another person doesn't believe their religion's specific deity then it's some catastrophe or something.
by Lou in Ranting
Mon May 23 8:51 PM

Cultural appropriation. Just why?

There is a lot here, and its a very interesting thread.

So I'm just going to put this out there because it's the burning question after reading the first third and skimming the rest.

The POINT of talking about cultural appropriation is not censorship, but awareness, yes?

When cultural appropriation is pointed out, we're simply pointing out how someone is being rude to another culture, the same way you would point out to someone that picking your nose with your dinner fork is rude to everyone else eating.
by tomokun in Feminism
Mon May 23 6:49 PM

Sexist Book

All dating advice I've ever heard sounds like way too much work.

But there's two kinds of PUA's. Those in on the scam and those who go out every night hanging round clubs dressed like idiots, wasting their lives trying out what they read in the latest manual, failing, than bragging how they came so close, on their forums. by Pikachu in Feminism
Mon May 23 6:17 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon May 23 3:00 PM

Intersectionality, and why it's fundamentally wrong.

I have heard far more people argue that it is not systemic and/or that it does not always flow in one direction, as there are black racists too. Now I will agree with you that black people in the US have the shorter end of the stick, but I also think the debate you are having is extremely nuanced, with one side being trump supporters, and the other being the black-lives-matter movement which seems to have devolved into a supremacist movement of their own claiming that "black racists" is an oxymoron. I don't see the liberal middle ground in the debate, arguing for the inate human rights of EVERYONE. Now I'm watching this from across the pond, so my analysis might be flawed, but this is my experience of it anyway :D
by monk in Feminism
Mon May 23 3:48 AM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon May 23 3:00 AM

Romance Lesbian Shows

This is getting ridiculous.
No you should not feel guilty from watching any show that you like (unless it's directly hurting other people like child pornography, but that's sort of an extreme). If you like watching lesbian anime, the L word, or some other show with lesbians, go do that. And if someone tells you that's somehow wrong, tell them to mind their own f***ing business.

In fact, do you know how many shows about lesbians would receive any funding if their target audience was exclusively lesbians? The answer is not very many!
by Cicero in Random
Sun May 22 3:00 PM

What is a Feminist story? (to you)

Is that common? If so, I'd say that in many cases being "further from women" is one of the points - questioning the baseline conceptions of what gender is.

Immortal superpowered characters like vampires and elves and so on are quite common examples. And they typically don't have much in the way of questioning gender unless it's plain ignoring the gender inequalities described by feminism. Which is quite common nowadays. I don't see how stories can be feminist, even human women, if their lead is born with a silver spoon in their mouth, or won the genetic lottery, or are in some other way highly privileged without facing the gendered marginalization of women in line with what is described in feminist theory. Because it's saying a characterization or story which ignores feminist issues is feminist. It's like saying a story with black people who are effectively portrayed as brown skinned white people is racially conscious, just because the characters are physically black. by Pikachu in Feminism
Sun May 22 1:55 PM

"Feminists don't have a sense of humor"

To be honest, there can be sex jokes that are funny and not degrading.

"A man who was raised to fear what's in between a woman's legs; fooled into believing it to be a monster...

Catches his friend sleeping with his wife, his wife who has grown deprived from his refusal of sex. He glimpses at his pal kneeling towards her body's center. He quickly screams "YOU GO, MAN!! KILL THAT F****** MONSTER! YEAH!!!""

xD by Lou in Feminism
Sun May 22 1:38 PM

Is masculinity still valued/necessary?

People have the right to say what is masculine or feminine for them. Make your own standards. If people need to be nagged or bullied into other people's standards, maybe those standards suck. And should be made more appealing. by Pikachu in Feminism
Sun May 22 10:14 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun May 22 3:00 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat May 21 3:00 AM

Classical Chinese Music

I just LOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEE classical Chinese music!




Am I the only one here with this taste?? ;w; by Lou in Mixed Media
Fri May 20 7:23 PM

What was your grade point average?

^ I second the volunteer work. If you have some hours in a clinic, that really helps to show how serious you are about the profession. (I help students write their personal statements and prep for interviews. When you get to that point, time willing, I'd be happy to help.) by Sonic# in Random
Wed May 18 12:49 PM

New Apple iOS and warmer screen colors after dark

Why do I not have this on my iPad?

Oh well, I'll stick to trying to read books in night mode in the middle of the night. That seems to help. I don't know if it's actually the visual aspect or reducing the "keep clicking, something exciting might happen" phenomenon, though. by Sassquatch in Science & Technology
Mon May 16 2:59 PM

Can you weave?

niiice :) someday you will have to show us! :) by rowan in Random
Mon May 16 3:27 AM

Nice to meet you. I'm Ann.

Welcome to the board. What's your favorite maths?
I tend to like the ones I've just learned most. Lately I've been having fun with complex numbers. I even had a dream about them. There's also something special about algebra. You can use that on everything! I like to put things that are not numbers or maths into algebraic formulas. One of my newest favourites is e^(pi*i) = -1 . I was lucky enough to find a really cool video explaining it in English. I like all his videos.
by blackAnn in New Members
Sun May 15 10:18 PM

minimalist kids birthday parties

For the first two birthdays, we tried to make some special food and splurge on interesting fruit. If I lived closer to friends, I would want to throw a get-together as an excuse to see my friends, celebrate our survival of another year. I don't think my kid would actually be into that though. They are turning out to be quite introverted and shy. by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun May 15 9:19 PM

Flowers as a birthday gift for a stranger

Bad news and good news.

Bad news: I bought flowers to a birthday party in which the honoree said not to bring gifts before I knew of the request.

Good news: I'm about to get some dutch adding the tulips to my windowsill. by Unvoiced_Apollo in Random
Sat May 14 1:34 AM

Hi, Im Ryano357

Welcome to the spacefem forums!

Have you found the FAQ yet? Thank you for reading the Guide to New and Returning Members.

I've loved otters ever since I read Tarka the Otter when I was young :) by Nachos in New Members
Fri May 13 2:52 PM

Aren't men's rights important? (Split from Feminist FAQ)

Marriage and divorce in Lebanon are Islamic Sharia (Islamic Law) based (for Muslims, which I am considered by law to be).

Here's a quick overview:
_The husband pays the wife when they marry. Let's say a 1,000$ for example.
_The husband only can divorce. He can so whenever he wants without the need for any reason. The woman can't divorce. She needs to persuade her husband if she wants a divorce. There are exceptions though, like if abuse occurs and so on.
_During divorce, the man pays the same amount he payed during the start of marriage (1,000$ in this case (inflation isn't taken into consideration)).
by Lou in Feminism
Thu May 12 11:51 AM

Pregnancy Guidebooks for Cool Moms (humor)

One of my friends is part of this magazine. She didn't write this one but it's pretty hilarious. ... cool-moms/

Anyone want to come up with our own "Guidebook" titles?

the one about inducing labor by setting your hair on fire is my favorite by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed May 11 3:39 PM