is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Latest Forum Replies

Guy here, newly feminist

I recently wrote this as a response to an email about how men should act. These are my opinions of how my fellow men should act and how we should interact with feminists

Of course that's not skill!
for the following reasons:

1)AGREEING TO COUNSELLING. I'm sorry but did I even read that? A man AGREEING to something! A man should never agree, a man decides what or what not to do, a man should never "agree" to a WOMAN'S ideas!

by Sexist guy in New Members
Mon Feb 8 1:16 AM

spacefem's guide to baby-led weaning

Just got back from an infant first aid class. Current guidelines (in the USA) now say you should not use any kind of finger sweep (for adults and infants) - it's better to let the body try to clear the obstruction itself. The only time you intervene is when the airway is completely obstructed and they cannot breathe. But the teacher did say it's hard not to step in when you see your baby gagging, so if you really can't stop yourself then use a finger and thumb 'pincer' rather than a single finger sweep (which poses a higher risk of pushing the obstruction further down the throat). by antfancier in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Feb 7 10:39 PM

Like Us On Facebook

Sun Feb 7 3:00 PM

Women: The Revenant - too brutal?

Ok the women part of that statement is clearly bs but I gotta say I fucking hated this movie.It was unnecessarily violent and a clear boring-ass revenge story hidden in some pretty shots and some massively unrealistic survival nonsense (why the hell did they stand, swim, and bathe in the lakes and rivers so much?? Anyone else keep thinking of survivorman's "you sweat, you die" line? Sometimes they needed to cross the river or whatever but usually it was massively unnecessary). I was surprisingly unenthused by it (I actually expected to love it) and on the gender issue my call of duty loving husband also did not enjoy it at all.
by Unvoiced_Apollo in Polls
Sun Feb 7 11:48 AM

what novel have you lended out recently?

I'm not sure what the last book I lent someone was. I do still have a book that someone lent me like six years ago, though. He lent it to me then went to prison for a few years, he is out now and I don't even know if he remembers I have it. I only read half of it and figure I will give it back when I'm done.... by Rainbow Dolphins in Random
Sun Feb 7 4:25 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Feb 7 3:00 AM

The pregnant woman's business trip from hell (or at least heck)

Yeah, I went back and checked some sources -- here's the table that I sort of remembered from when I was going through the ectopic scare:
So, half of ectopic pregnancies never get above an hCG level of 1,000, and only 9% ever make it above 10,000. Needless to say, the ones that do keep rising to those very high levels tend to be the scary ones, since those are the ones that keep growing and can cause things like tubal ruptures.
by lyra211 in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sat Feb 6 5:09 PM

Hi gang - 38-week pregnant health policy nerd here

oh geez the billing.

I'm more curious about when you fight and when you give up.

my favorite healthcare story was when I got billed for a flu shot when I was pregnant. flu shots are preventative and were always free, until that year, my normal drive through place or whatever wouldn't give a flu shot to a pregnant woman. so my OB did it, but then billed it as a flu shot for a pregnant woman which is apparently not preventative, different code. I was like "Is it a different flu shot?" nope, exactly the same. so what gives? I called the insurance company, they explained they wouldn't pay with that code, it was somehow different for them, crap. but it wasn't expensive, so I stopped caring and just paid. it never makes any sense but we don't have much power to question these things.
by Enigma in New Members
Sat Feb 6 4:06 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Feb 6 3:00 AM

what's the last movie you saw?

I just saw The Hunting Ground which is an amazing documentary about campus rape on Netflix. It kind of broke my heart and now I'm filled with undefined rage and need to look up Canadian stats immediately and possibly also immediately protest somehow.

:5houses: by Enigma in Mixed Media
Sat Feb 6 2:27 AM

Pregnant physicist here!

^ The very first time I played that I was the traitor! And I hated it (even though I won) because I had no clue what was going on.

I'm glad you have good reviews of Pandemic Legacy - I'm intrigued because I like Pandemic a lot, and my partner keeps off-handedly mentioning Pandemic Legacy, but we haven't obtained a copy and a group of players yet. Maybe I should get it for him at the next gift-giving occasion.

and of course a warm welcome to Lyra! Glad you're here! :) by octarineoboe in New Members
Fri Feb 5 11:17 PM

sending thank you notes

I've told friends not to worry about sending me thank-you notes after weddings and other major life events because thank you notes are for old relatives and other people you don't actually know. If I'm writing a thank-you note, it's probably something I'm not actually all that thankful for. by melsbells in Polls
Fri Feb 5 9:09 PM

The Wage Gap explained well with sources

Relevant article about "choices" women make: ... researcher

In my next life I'm going to be a sociologist, it's super way more important than what I do. by rowan in Feminism
Fri Feb 5 5:31 PM

Merida vs Mulan

Mulan is fucking Ming-Na Wen, and she's badass. I hope I look like her when I'm 52...

Agent May is 52?! Damn, I hope I look like that when I'm that age too (by which I mean that young, I'm a dude after all).

Had to go with Mulan to win this one. "Ranged advantage"? Try an avalanche and/or a firework to the face.

Which is why I specified no cannons in a later post. Basically, nothing the requires black powder. by Unvoiced_Apollo in Polls
Fri Feb 5 2:47 PM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Feb 5 3:00 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Feb 4 3:00 AM

organization and decluttering

Ugh we have too much stuff. But definitely having some place for things to actually go helps. I've gotten a bunch of things to help with the kids STUFF over time (especially art supplies and projects). Otherwise it explodes all over the table and we don't eat. ;)
One thing I got: ... A-11945900
by rowan in Random
Wed Feb 3 4:38 PM


^ could be a case of accessorizing, like you need a strapless bra with that and no-line panties and this scarf will go with it and etc. Could be a valid way to make an extra sale. (Not saying what the sales clerk did was a good move, just speculating on motive.)

Spanx and a strapless bra strike me as incredibly different, though. Like, you look just fine if you don't wear spanx versus having straps get in the way of the rest of your outfit aesthetically. A strapless bra isn't going to change your shape, and telling someone they should be wearing a strapless bra with an outfit isn't even close to telling someone they should be wearing spanx so they don't look so fat. The entire point of spanx is to help women look the way society tells us we should look: slim, smooth and refined. I get what you're trying to say, I just don't think it's an apt comparison at all. by Bork in Feminism
Wed Feb 3 7:03 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Feb 3 3:00 AM

Group B Strep

It's not at my (US) hospital, alas, and I got the impression it is not common. :-( I am just planning to eat a bunch of yogurt and other probiotic stuff after birth and hope for the best (there's apparently some evidence that good bacteria can be passed through breast milk, so hopefully as I rebuild my own microbiome I'll also be helping my baby to build his). I'm simply not willing to take the risks associate with passing up antibiotics, so I think focusing on rebuilding a healthy microbiome is probably the best I can do. by lyra211 in Pregnancy & Parenting
Wed Feb 3 2:02 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Feb 2 3:00 PM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Feb 2 3:00 AM

school punishments

I rarely got punished at school. I guess I was just a really good student. Also, from what I've heard the UK school system is not quite so punishing as the American. I did get detention frequently at middle school age for being late, but I decided I'd rather trade a few minutes extra in bed for staying late after school once a week. I also remember being sent out of science class a few times because I couldn't stop laughing. My friend and I would work each other up into hysterical fits of giggles - I don't know what else the teacher could have done, because we were absolutely disruptive to the class. I never actually got in trouble for it, I think because I did all my work and got top marks in class I could get away with it.
by antfancier in Polls
Tue Feb 2 12:40 AM

Intro: pregnant nerd here!

And thanks muchly, Bork (gotta ask--is that a Swedish chef reference?)

P.S.--please let me know if clumping all my replies into one post was the right way to go. I figure it's better to not extend the thread by replying to each individually, but when in Rome, Voglio fare como i Romani!

Nope, not a Swedish chef reference! Roundabout reference to a character in a book I was reading when I signed up.
by Bork in New Members
Mon Feb 1 11:50 PM

What's changed about you in the last five years?

Stopped medication and other treatments for PTSD (thanks EMDR)
Started calling myself a feminist
Was with someone when they died
Moved oversea and entered into a legal marriage contract
Had a kid
Joined spacefem
Started going to school with refugees

Those are the "events" that stick out. In general, I keep noticing my politics fall more and more to the left. I'm also much more critical of higher education, particularly the state of the fields of philosophy, computer science, and mathematics. I started foraging in the past five years as well, which has had a positive impact on my life. by melsbells in Random
Mon Feb 1 9:39 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Feb 1 3:00 PM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Feb 1 3:00 AM

spacefem 2016 book club: Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

I read this this week! I thought it was great, definitely something kids should read. But I definitely see why certain people would be offended. There's one part where he says that if god didn't want us to masturbate he wouldn't have given us thumbs! which I definitely see being horrifying to certain people. And yeah the word faggot a lot. Bad stuff happens to him even though he's nice and works hard, white people who mean well are racist, maybe gay people existing isn't a new thing, that sort narrative isn't something people like. by Enigma in Mixed Media
Sun Jan 31 11:54 PM

Cold sores virus

The virus lays dormant in the nerve ganglia at the infected site for life, and only becomes reactivated during periods of weakened immunity. It then migrates from the ganglia to the surface, causing a sore. From the start of immune weakness to when the virus manifests into a sore, there is a lot more viral replication and shedding.

So technically yeah, it's the increased viral load which causes a sore to manifest, but the root cause is a weakened immune system, from stress, another infection, etc. by Aum in Science & Technology
Sun Jan 31 5:52 PM


Yay it's so nice to meet you all!

@rowan: yay! moose! meese! meeses! :)

@octarineoboe: Sadly it did not come from such an awesome place of creativity :) I wanted to have the same user name across several platforms (this was several years ago) and nymeria without an "a" was taken on one of them... but I like your idea better!!
by nymaeria in New Members
Fri Jan 29 3:14 AM

Women in Computer Science

Thanks for this awesome post :)

I wrote a blog post once about how for every jerk I met, I also had an opportunity to spot a cool ally:

It does happen a lot, the bullshit, but it's nice that guys are recognizing it. by spacefem in Careers & Education
Fri Jan 29 2:33 AM

ditching daylight savings

Best line of that article, which I leave without comment:

Greenfield pointedly noted that "the times have changed" since the inception of daylight saving time.

Also, while I wasn't that serious about the Daylight Savings Time free day alternative, a shift like that is just as arbitrary as what DST does. We today benefit from having times kept that don't correspond to the local noon of a given location. Consistency justifies having time zones. What justified DST back then? Some combination of industrial and lighting concerns. What justifies it today? I don't know, but it sounds like an interesting question that "the times have changed" gets at.
by Sonic# in Polls
Wed Jan 27 6:34 PM

being different

I was bullied for being smart, for being gay, for being too tall, for being "too..." something. When you're in an abusive environment there's always something. To me, the people being bullied for being smart got off easy, because in my schools the smart people camp got the favour of all the teachers, so if bullies attacked them it could easily be chalked up to jealousy. And also, being smart is something that can be private. Nobody has to see your test scores or know just how well you're doing. The hard part is when you're bullied for things you can't hide.
by Aum in Careers & Education
Wed Jan 27 6:55 AM

Study is very sexist

And it excludes the percentage of women who are unable to achieve orgasm through penetration (which seems to be 100% the only thing they are talking about). So it's got other issues with it besides it's sample size too. by Nech in Feminism
Tue Jan 26 9:36 PM

do you have a hamster?

Apparently this moment was so awkward to me that it's the first thing that comes to mind when I see the word hamster to this day. I guarantee you I'm the only person who remembers that yet still I suffer.

Hamster PTSD. That's new. Would you like us to put up a trigger warning for future small rodent discussions? ....j/k
I can think of at least three words that instantly bring back bad childhood experiences.
by Enigma in Random
Mon Jan 25 10:44 PM

"Feminists don't have a sense of humor"

Necro thread, because I came across a not total shit Vice article that touched on humour and it's purpose. Felt it was appropriate here. by Nech in Feminism
Mon Jan 25 4:35 AM