is a small community owned & run by some regular people. Not a company. We are not out to recruit you for data mining purposes, there is no venture capital exit strategy, no one is asking about profit margins or even making this a full time job. There are no ads. Posts here are not a commodity to be sold. We are just a fun group of people who like chatting about creativity, nerdy things, feminism, and sometimes pants. This site started over a decade ago and hasn't even changed colors. It is a safe, inclusive place to share opinions, rant, celebrate, cuss or just take stupid quizzes. We were around before every corporate social media site had to "connect" you and we'll be around when they're all gone.

Latest Forum Replies

What are you binge watching right now?

I don't watch a lot of TV/Netflix these days, but I did binge watch Stranger Things when I was sick a few weeks ago. I watched the last four episodes of The Walking Dead season 6 a few days ago so I could watch the season 7 premiere before it got spoiled. Honestly I might finally be done with it though, that episode was just too shittily brutal. by Eravial in Mixed Media
Wed Oct 26 6:55 PM

what's your favorite thing that is pink?

My backpack. I was apprehensive about buying such a BRIGHT pink everyday backpack, but it was the only color available in the decent-quality style that was on clearance. Still, I think I'll replace it with something a little less bright when it wears out. by Eravial in Random
Wed Oct 26 6:39 PM

damnit Marvel...

Yeah seriously why doesn't Black Widow have her own movie? They made a movie about ANT MAN but not Black Widow

She's never been a super main stream character until semi-recently to be fair. Like she's been there, but not a great hero/largely unknown (maybe because she's so good at being a spy? :D ). Ant-Man however was a founding member of the Avengers and it was actually kind of odd he was left out for so long. by Nech in Ranting
Wed Oct 26 4:46 AM

If you were to make something for a potluck...what would you make?

I generally make some sort of pasta or potato dish. Or just a bottle of soda and wine for drinks.

Past two potlucks I made roast potatoes which turned out beautifully once and too cooked the other time.... but they're good because they're vegan and after the initial preparation time, just need to make sure they have enough oven time before putting them in a box to go. by Nachos in Random
Wed Oct 26 12:55 AM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Oct 25 3:00 PM

Feminism for men/Effective activism

re: Feminism for Men/Effective Activism

As a newbie to this forum, from England in the UK, may I add my perspective from this side of the 'pond'?

Whilst the objective of making men more sympathetic to the notion of feminist values is, in my opinion, not only desirable but imperative the reality is that it is not likely to be achieved as a short-term objective. Human nature is such that it will only be adopted by a substantial number of males over a protracted period of time. Personally, I have come across a lot of men who have paid lip-service to the concept of gender equality when in a social environment where it was the most appropriate response but, their subsequent words and actions have revealed an ingrained male gender-biased stance. This is not a case of trying to attribute blame; these men have, through no fault of their own, been brought up as members of a society where male values have always had a higher status. For them to begin to change their position regarding gender equality en-mass it would not only need education in the merits of the subject but also recognition that for them to each acknowledge this potential for a realignment of gender roles, as a member of their male peer group, would no longer be seen as being akin to an act of treason against all men. Men have, notionally, been 'in charge' of society for millennia, they are the gender who have determined the rules that life's game has always been played by; why would they willingly accept a reversal of the rules of the game and, at the same time, hand the ball over to the other side?
by deVire in Feminism
Tue Oct 25 9:48 AM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Oct 25 3:00 AM

Article about 2016's "risky" sexist Halloween costumes ... hall-2ngrr

This article presents three popular topics from 2016 used as costumes, and shows how they have sexist or otherwise bigoted underpinnings. What do you all think about this article? Are these concerns legitimate? by CorvaWimberly in Feminism
Mon Oct 24 11:59 PM

Distance Learning Pros and Cons

This looks like a spam (and I've edited out the link) but also I think it might be an interesting topic. I have taught traditional classrooms (lectures), classes with combined lecture/labs, just labs etc. I haven't taught classes online but I have taken a number of graduate level ones. So if anyone has any questions on what it's like or what kinds of things to look for feel free to ask.

(I would be concerned about getting a degree from a place that puts out a spambot that can't get subject-verb agreement, however.) by rowan in Careers & Education
Mon Oct 24 9:59 PM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Oct 24 3:00 PM

Western Women Realize Their Men Suck [article]

I think the same as above. Going by the content,when they say "Western" what they really mean is "White American". But Western IMO refers to culture and as a half Asian man who was raised in Western Culture, I find this article rather glib on two levels.

It fails to recognize America as the melting pot that it is and the generations of non-white and mixed race people that have lived here as children or born here. They would be just as Western as the white male in terms of being raised in the culture. by Unvoiced_Apollo in Feminism
Mon Oct 24 10:55 AM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Oct 24 3:00 AM

what's the last movie you saw?

I saw Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children :3houses: Because they butchered the book slightly. However the cinematography was excellent!

And Bridget Jones Baby :4houses: Because it was just like the other two and as amusing and yet good and I really liked that. Though Colin Firth now looks oooold! by Nachos in Mixed Media
Sun Oct 23 9:56 PM

Financial abortion

Whoah! We have a Men's Right's Activist on this forum?! Pikachu, I'm ashamed to admit that I agree with a small amount of what you're saying. Why would I be ashamed to admit that? Because when you talk about things like "wage slavery" you out yourself as one of the most privileged people on Earth who has no clue what it's like for people who look anything different from you. "Wage slavery" is not a thing, and when you say things like that, you cheapen how horrible actual slavery is.
by filmmakingally in Feminism
Sun Oct 23 4:03 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Oct 23 3:00 AM

How people talk about late-term abortion

I didn't mean in general, I meant that it wasn't worth it beyond whether a candidate is prolife or prochoice when discussing it in a presidential debate. It's too nuanced a topic to deal with in 20 seconds. Bringing it up just pisses off Trump Supporters with Clinton's flippant attitude towards life, and rational people with Trumps comments on a well known medical procedure.

Of course, now that I've typed that up, I guess every subject is too nuanced to get to the meat of in a presidential debate.
by DarkOne in Feminism
Sat Oct 22 3:34 AM

What does non-toxic masculinity look like?

For the sake of this thread, and from the examples above of 'using male privilege positively' and 'being an engaged father', I'll take masculinity to be referring to "male behavior".

So what does "non-toxic masculinity" look like? To me, it looks like someone who doesn't define what it means to be a "real" man.

But on that note, of the helping people - non-toxic masculinity must surely include respect for other adults as equals.
by DarkOne in Feminism
Sat Oct 22 3:29 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Oct 22 3:00 AM

You know it's gonna be a great week...

I think there are a lot of spaces that harbor a culture of dirty jokes and lewd conversations- I work in a kitchen (full of women) and we have had plenty of conversations/jokes amongst ourselves that would be completely inappropriate in polite society. It was the same when I was in culinary school. Telling everyone how you sexually assaulted someone is a different kind of thing. by Rainbow Dolphins in Ranting
Fri Oct 21 11:43 PM

Porn and sex education

I think porn is very detrimental to men's (and ultimately women's) sexual health and self-image. Many men who have watched a ton of porn are downright unsatisfied with their girlfriends. This is a huge problem that follows them in their relationship and puts strain on it.

I've know many friends who have this problem. Some even told me that it's bad to the point where their partner has something like "porn-educed erectile dysfunction" (look it up).

Crazy world we live in today. This stuff should be regulated or something. by JustineNyce in Feminism
Fri Oct 21 6:15 PM

My alternatives for "Picking up the check"

Oh yeah, I definitely think in most cases it's a misreading of the relationship rather than a default assumption that the man pays. It's still really interesting to me though! Like last weekend, I went out in a group of two men and two women (including me); one man and woman were dating but the other man and I were not. The server asked about checks, when the man who was part of the romantic couple said he and his girlfriend would be together, the server at first assumed that the other two of us would be also. And it certainly looked like it could be a double date! But it wasn't. Or it could have been, but with two different relationships that had different opinions on check-splitting.
by octarineoboe in Random
Fri Oct 21 2:11 PM


I sing all the time. But only around very close friends or family. Because I am bad.
Bad news, I'm now going to a karaoke bachelorette. I think I might be expected to sing. All the other bridesmaids are in choirs. Humiliation is in my future.

To add to what sonic said, Pick a song that's fun and will get everyone to dance and/or sing along. Funny or fun, No one will care how bad you sing as long as you're into it.
by Unvoiced_Apollo in Mixed Media
Fri Oct 21 10:34 AM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Oct 21 3:00 AM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Oct 20 3:00 AM

How to give support.

Maybe I'm super skeptical by nature, maybe I'm projecting, but I always count on leave room for people not being completely truthful on the interwebs... That alone would be reason for me to not blindly trust . Providing perspective, recommending options, and just listening are ways to provide support without the need to assign truthfulness to what she's saying.

As to doubting her because she's a woman, well, at least your brain acknowledges it's messed up, even if your gut tells you otherwise. Make sure your gut doesn't runaway on this one. I guess that's a step in the right direction. I don't have much advice on how to override ingrained bias, as I have my own set of biased opinions to keep in check. by DarkOne in Ranting
Wed Oct 19 8:42 PM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Oct 19 3:00 AM


It's not offensive to me, but I've lived in a cushy Catholic bubble most of my life, so the word doesn't hit any of my nerves. But I understand where you're coming from and I agree with others about the validity of your feelings. I have a similar experience with a line in a fairly popular song that just annoys the heck out of me, and I have yet to meet anyone else who bats an eye at the lyrics. **sigh**

TBH, I don't often take people who use the word "heathen" seriously. I'd estimate over 90% of the times I hear it, they're either joking being patronizing. When I heard it in the song, I didn't fixate on "heathens", but rather on "oooh,a song glorifying cliques" -_- meh. Not a fan. by DarkOne in Ranting
Mon Oct 17 12:02 PM

Re: New member and researcher

It's cool. We're all beginners in new places sometimes. It just felt too abrupt to bring in your research that way, especially without some established interest in participating in the community.

I recently finished my PhD, and I often end up tutoring graduate students trying to get through their programs. What are a couple of things you think upcoming graduate students in Psychology should know? (A couple of truisms in my field: look at job ads a few years out and figure out where one fits and how to fit more jobs; learn to say "no" sometimes to colleagues.)
by MKenny16 in New Members
Mon Oct 17 5:44 AM

New member and researcher

Hello and welcome!

I also came here primarily for research, but I've found that I enjoy the discussions that take place here. I hope you do too! If I read your posts correctly, you'd also like to hear from male social media users? I'd be happy to fill out a survey.

Mainly, I felt the need to respond because of a kinda funny coincidence. The nature of the research I'm doing is for a screenplay, and the character who's background I'm exploring is named Megan, haha (I named her this a couple weeks ago). She's also a college student (anthropology) and a feminist. AND there's going to be a scene in which she talks about the politically transformative power of social media. I swear, I'm not making any of this up. Well, I guess technically I'm making it up, but I think you know what I mean.
by MKenny16 in New Members
Mon Oct 17 5:36 AM


Now there's the Ken Bone inspired sexy costume.

I got really bored and started drawing random costumes. Here's the first one at least. :P
by Enigma in Feminism
Sun Oct 16 5:18 PM

Hi! Please, check this out!?

Hi, welcome, not everyone here identifies as female, let alone girl, otherwise introduce yourself. See some good fighting back from Poland so keep on.

Be careful that much of the narrative about Hillary has been deliberately crafted by her opponents for decades. by rowan in New Members
Sat Oct 15 10:39 PM

kids' obsessions

I could see saunas becoming an obsession for a number of very social reasons as well, depending on your family's sauna practices. I honestly can't think of any common themes or rituals shared by all branches of my U.S. family, other than like eating together, but that seems too banal(/essential for survival) to really become an obsession. My Finnish family, on the other hand, all sauna as a social ritual. Whether or not you allow your kid in saunas yet, if there's a lot of exposure to the ritual, they could probably pick up on the social importance. It might make sense that kids are probably wired to pick up on things that the adults in their life think are important (**not a child psychologist**).
by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sat Oct 15 8:08 PM

It me

Im a painter, primarily I do political burlesque. Haven't quite looked at the FAQ yet. I'm assuming it just says something along the lines of its okay to argue but don't be a Richard, be kind, be nontoxic. by DolandStump in New Members
Sat Oct 15 7:42 PM

Do you go to farmers markets?

Our local farmer's market used to be really kick ass. Great honey guy, a couple of great meat people, a wine vendor, and several veggie vendors.
Now it's one veggie vendor and a bunch of street food from different cultures. Which is cool and all, but I'm not going to stock up my fridge with Vietnamese coffee and octopus balls, so normally we go once a week in the spring time until we've tried all the food then don't go back until the following year.
by Enigma in Random
Sat Oct 15 1:35 AM

how are your teeth?

I had two fillings when I was younger. They were baby teeth so I didn't have to get the crowns removed. Recently I had forgotten to brush and my gums used to hurt a lot. I'm trying to brush twice a day now and my gums don't hurt anymore. by Starkid in Random
Fri Oct 14 7:32 PM

females in IT

I'm a software developer (web mostly these days, C#, ASP.NET). I am the only female in my department! Though there are only 8 of us. In my degree there were 3 females out of 200 students.. so it is an improvement on that. by Charli! in Careers & Education
Fri Oct 14 6:13 PM

How we treat disregarded consent in politics (TW: Sexual assault)

I'm sure most of us here have watched the terrific speech Ms. Obama gave yesterday, but if you haven't... by filmmakingally in Feminism
Fri Oct 14 8:30 AM

Which wave of feminism do you most identify with?

Cool, I didn't know about the 4 different waves before.
(I had to just look up what each one was)

I mean, I know about sufferage, and the later wave of the 1960s.

I wasnt quite sure how to answer this, when trying to identfy with a particular wave.
But I think the first suits my general beliefs :)
Where, back then it was about achieving a particular goal for greater equality, and challenging the idea of what it meant to be lady like.
by Alison369 in Polls
Thu Oct 13 1:47 PM

D&D/Pathfinder Classes...

Is Kevin's class...Shovel Knight?
What is that from! Lol I think he accidentally is at least.

A game called Shovel Knight :D by Meperidine in Polls
Wed Oct 12 1:09 AM