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Latest Forum Replies

majority privilege

White priv is applicable and more accurate and to the point in many cases. There are of course other privileges such as being extroverted (despite all the people who try to prove that introversion is amazing the fact that you have to prove it says something), privilege of being male, privilege of being born into class, privilege of being Christian or really nothing but able to say Christian when people ask, privlege of good education. I would be as specific as possible when making a point and white privlege is very real. The things I listed are mostly things you can learn relatively quickly about someone and make implicit assumptions/schemata from there. Of course privlege goes into power and not just how people receive you socially but I think that social reception is huge in the job market and even dare I say when making friends and dating. by Nerd1987 in Random
Sat Aug 29 5:55 AM

Braxton Hicks questions

Was just in the hospital for a pre-term labour false alarm earlier this week.

My Braxton Hicks have changed this time around to be sometimes painful, period-like cramps extending to my lower back with contractions that are fairly regular (every 10 to 15 minutes regardless of what I am doing). But they have been medically confirmed to still just be Braxton Hicks :o

As a general comment, my BH have always been symmetric, so symmetry was never a good marker for me.

by geerlady in Pregnancy & Parenting
Fri Aug 28 5:10 PM

Like Us On Facebook

Fri Aug 28 3:00 PM


I might have just bid on an old tamagotchi on ebay......

I never had one of those parenting class things, was it widespread? I think the most was one of the biology teachers in our school gave out crickets that 7th graders had to keep alive for a week, but that was only one teacher for one class. by Nachos in Polls
Fri Aug 28 1:52 PM

Quiz: What Color Are You?

Forget the four-color quizzes, this one displays your personality as one of the hundreds of named HTML colors.
Fri Aug 28 3:00 AM

On God, "he", and kids...

I don't like to touch religion in any serious way as far as integrating it into my life. Whether God is a man or woman is one of many problems I have come across. You address one problem you have ten more especially if you base your religious beliefs on a book that if read contains lots of interesting instructions. by Nerd1987 in Feminism
Fri Aug 28 12:42 AM

How tired are you after work?

I have "long" days at work maybe two or three out of six days. On these days I have three beers immediately after wrk and some food. Then I load back up on caffeine and go do something outside of the house if I can get the energy to. If I've been exercising my energy levels are much better. by Nerd1987 in Careers & Education
Thu Aug 27 11:10 PM

what are you reading?

I just finished Decomposition: A Music Manifesto by Andrew Durkin. It offered a really interesting take on the concept of creativity - that it is always collaborative and that our notion of the genius author obscures that fact and ultimately inhibits musical creativity. I really liked it, except the almost-offhand remark about swing music and dancing which utterly ignored the collaboration inherent in swing dancing, which really pissed me off. In arguing that musical experience is subjective (it is!), he dismissed a dancer's concern about people being "lost" to another style; why can't we all like what we like? Durkin basically asked. And the answer is simple: swing dancing is partnered, not to mention the interaction between dancers and DJs, bands, event organizers, etc. If other people don't like what I like, it directly decreases my chance to dance to the music I like!
by octarineoboe in Mixed Media
Thu Aug 27 11:04 PM

Reality doesn't exist until we measure it?

I know essentially nothing about quantum mechanics but I'm ok with that because neither did Einstein right? Only difference between him and I is that if someone explained it to him for five minutes he would be off and running with his own theories lol. by Nerd1987 in Science & Technology
Thu Aug 27 11:03 PM

Hi folx

Yes ok my favorite color is violet blue. I love Star Wars very very much. I love first person shooters and the creative ways I can come up with to work with my team and calculate strategy to win. I enjoy bicycling and going deep into nature such as a park and I feel like it's just me and nature. I love my girlfriend who challenges me in areas that I have otherwise put on the back burner. I am fascinated by human behavior and the unconscious mind. I love helping people who are struggling because I have struggled and had a leg up from good people. Rap is my guilty pleasure as it motivates me to go and grab life by the horns. Ask me anything and 95% chance I will be an open book. by Nerd1987 in New Members
Thu Aug 27 10:48 PM

Body Betrayal


I'm currently 37 weeks, and while almost all my immediate coworkers have been super supportive of my being at work (and planning to continue being at work), I got a "tsk tsk" from another woman the other day about not taking my leave yet, and she hasn't been the first one. (Interestingly, so far it's only been the women who seem to think I'm supposed to leave already.)

Anyway, my line has been, "I'm really enjoying my project right now. I might as well enjoy it while I can!" (Which is true, and also generally shuts them up.)
by mathnome in Pregnancy & Parenting
Thu Aug 27 8:44 PM

Do you have any scars?

I have a long scar on my back from I don't know where (literally, I can feel it and so can others but I have no idea where it came from.
A tiny one on my cheek from falling off my bike and continuing going down the hill on my face.
Various small ones on knees and fingers.
An exciting one on my hand when a wine glass fell out of the cupboard and attacked me which just looks like a corner of skin improperly healed. It itches occasionally though. by Nachos in Random
Thu Aug 27 5:21 PM

what's the last food you made?

I'm going to look for the app, I've wanted a sous vide (Anova!) for years, but now that I've learned about the cooler hack, I don't want to cook meat any other way.

What is this amazing hack you speak of? Tell all!

Last night I made pasta in a creamy spinachy salmony sauce. It was yummy. by Nachos in Mixed Media
Thu Aug 27 5:03 PM

How to apologize?

I touch on the aspect that I could have done better. If I just make a blanket apology that is teaching the other person that they can treat me however they did. It takes two and if the other person gets all emotional and plays the victim I give them very little reinforcement for that behavior unless I truly made a sizable mistake. by Nerd1987 in Careers & Education
Thu Aug 27 4:03 PM

The Baby Due Date Statistics Survey

I wondered if due dates were accurate. 5,000+ internet friends chimed in. See the charts here.
Thu Aug 27 3:00 AM

Woman science!


I find it interesting that I knew all this already. I'm continually surprised at how good a job my sex ed from high school was. There are definitely things I learned later, but they did a good job of most of it. by rowan in Science & Technology
Thu Aug 27 1:45 AM

Kingsman secret service=Charley and the Chocolate factory for young men

I agree. The movie is ostensibly a typical spy movie while having the triply, spooky warnings of a Charlie and the chocolate factory type movie. Some of the scenes have two or three layers of meaning and insinuate values of what it is and is not to be a good person. Even the villain was very complex; hating violence but wanting what's best for humanity and taking it upon himself to save humanity in a very controversial holocaustesque way. The difference being that he to a point did try to save the people he thought had the best genes rather than intentionally taking advantage of peoples' prejudices. I like when a good verses evil movie has good character development but I felt that this movie was deeper than most bond or Bourne movies while still not as compelling in some aspects. by Nerd1987 in Feminism
Wed Aug 26 5:00 PM


I read op's post and a couple replies in. I think we are all socialized to appreciate certain behaviors in certain situations. It's different for everyone. At work most women expect me to take out the trash. I didn't originally choose to do that more than my fair share until repeatedly the people I worked with found other things to do and left the trash for me. Maybe I'm just a sucker idk lol by Nerd1987 in Feminism
Wed Aug 26 6:44 AM

The things I hate

Ok also with stress.. Us anxious people are so use to acute maxed out stress that when a genuinely challenging situation presents itself maybe we are more use to performing under the pressures of stress. by Nerd1987 in Ranting
Wed Aug 26 6:31 AM

Pregnancy Calendar

For geeky moms like me who need to remember not just what week they're on, but their percent completion.
Wed Aug 26 3:00 AM

Hello, fellow feminists!

Oh, don't be embarrassed! You were pretty close and it's a very easy thing to misunderstand. :) I didn't know squat about any kind of waste management practices until I went off to college. One thing that especially fascinates me is that when they haul off your garbage, they don't just stick it in the dirt. Everything now is taken to a Sanitary Landfill, where the pits are lined with tens of feet off clay, filler, and impenetrable geo-textiles. Garbage juice is a really bad thing to have leaking into the water table.
by Lab Rat in New Members
Tue Aug 25 9:08 PM

health insurance

My new company only offers one plan, the deductible is several thousand dollars (as opposed to like $500 on my old plan), and the lowest monthly rate was higher than my old one... the premium is $55 per week. That's first of all way higher than what the brochure suggested, and way higher than my old premium, and frankly just seems way out of my budget.

I have bad news and good news. Here is the bad news first...
by HamelM128 in Ranting
Tue Aug 25 3:07 PM

Links to Spacefem Elsewhere


Tue Aug 25 3:00 PM

The Taylor Swift Nicki Minaj thing

I actually read an article about this feud and it turns out that Nicki wrote a tweet that she says was not directed at Taylor, and Taylor totally didn't have to respond but she did. Maybe it's because she grew up in the entertainment industry and takes everything very seriously. It seems to be a pattern. by Zeph in Feminism
Tue Aug 25 8:04 AM

The Hugos

Yeah, I've been following this from the beginning through John Scalzi's blog Whatever and I am very glad the results came out the way they did. The leader of the Rabid puppies is a real asshat who has too much money and uses it to cause pain.

My favorite part is that a statement was made by people willing to put up money to say fuck you to the asshats.

The Wall Street Journal did an okay piece on it too. ... go-awards/ by monk in Feminism
Tue Aug 25 3:09 AM

Mnemonic device generator

Type in letters you want to remember, we'll make up a funny sentence to help
Tue Aug 25 3:00 AM

10-Second PHP Tutorial

The fastest introduction I could possibly muster.
Mon Aug 24 3:00 PM

What did you hate hearing when you were pregnant?

3. I think you're putting on too much weight. You know it''s going to make it harder to get your body back. (I'm 6 months post baby today, so now the comments have turned to "I told you!")

WHAAAAAT???? by DarkOne in Pregnancy & Parenting
Mon Aug 24 11:52 AM

Quiz: What kind of engineer should you be?

Engineering is one of the coolest jobs in the world, but there are so many disciplines it can be a little daunting to choose one for yourself! I wasn't happy with the existing quizzes, they were mostly way too direct (do you like bridges or wires? uh...) or way too career-spammy, and they were all way too serious. So with that in mind I took some personality traits and kinda did my best attempt at mapping them to engineering fields. It's not scientific or accurate because it really doesn't matter, engineers do so many things and move around so much there's no way to predict what path you'll end up on... so relax! This point of this test is to combine the fun of a personality quiz with the usefulness of a career test... hey look at that, fun AND useful? It's getting engineer-y already!
Mon Aug 24 3:00 AM

let's just talk about the duggars

What drives me crazy is the hypocrisy of people getting up on their little religious soapbox and talking about focusing on the family, and how they are so pro-family because Jesus, etc., etc., and then to find out that this kind of stuff is going on behind closed doors, and they're hushing it up. Ooookay, you want to deny two women or men the ability to marry each other and have a family because it might be dangerous to the children in some nebulous abstract way, when what is actually dangerous to children, as in proven harm, is being molested by their teenage brother.
by Lab Rat in Random
Sun Aug 23 3:37 PM

Was asked if I had my husband's permission to work at a job interview today.

Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you, that's crazy.

This guy is either incredibly ignorant about hiring laws (and modern-day working women, as well), or he's arrogant enough to think he won't get caught discriminating against applicants.

Either way, he shouldn't be in charge of hiring anyone. Yeesh. by Lab Rat in New Members
Sun Aug 23 3:23 PM

How is your garden growing?

Mmm... thistles.

We planted sunflowers on our windowsill. They never got taller than my fingers, but they did eventually bloom. We've been getting to go mushroom hunting some. We've had lots of chanterelles, a few ceps, one puffball, and a handfull of hedgehog mushrooms. We've also gotten to eat lots of wild berries and have some in the freezer. by melsbells in Polls
Sun Aug 23 1:28 PM

Game development, feminist game for the younger generation

I keep thinking about audience. There are a lot of educational games out there which adequately promote a concept but aren't as much fun to actually play. Those games aren't as likely to be played by the kids who would benefit from them, especially if they're in direct competition with games that are already a lot of fun like Angry Birds. I guess I'd be careful that it somehow appeals to the audience, that it distinguishes itself as a game.

There are a lot of approaches that make a concept fun. There's Papers Please, and the way it shows rather than tells the twin dilemmas around immigration and government corruption. In education games like Number/Word Munchers, it was a drilling tool within a fun pattern recognition game, whereas I remember several other math drilling programs which were artfully designed but had little fun once all the boxes were filled in.
by Sonic# in New Members
Sun Aug 23 12:30 PM

mom guilt bingo

Adding to the newborn edition:
Knowingly fell asleep on the couch with baby on your chest because...sleep...
Used a tablet or phone to surf net or play games while nursing rather than cherishing every moment
Took baby out in public solely because it's really great to hear strangers compliment your adorable little being. by ohbonobogirl in Pregnancy & Parenting
Sun Aug 23 11:06 AM

are you making a list?

Lots of lists including a list of things that I do that I'm not allowed to add to until more of them get done: Barbie spacesuit, mend mittens, apply buttons to kid's jacket, book pile, calder-style mobile, cranes... Then there's the list in my head of things I will be adding to that list when I'm allowed: game for brother, felted birdhouse, barjello quilt, linen pants... Lots of more standard lists as well like long term needs/wants. I have two lists about bicycles going, one ideal and one less demanding. by melsbells in Random
Sun Aug 23 7:47 AM

The Skirt Pattern Calculator

I like to sew. This calculator tells you how to make an arc for any skirt you've got the fabric for - just type in your measurements.
Sun Aug 23 3:00 AM

Quiz: Do you need a boyfriend?

Are you a young single gal wondering if you need a man? Take our quiz.
Sat Aug 22 3:00 AM

women are fine, feminists are fanatics, split from faq thread

I wrote a post surveying several different polls on this question. Some were as low as 20%, some were more like 1 in 3.

But no matter which one of these you choose, that's actually a lot of Americans. Around 60 million, give or take. Is 60 million supposed to be a small number?

In the end, though, the success of feminism is in the changes that feminism has made to society - not in poll numbers. The goal of feminism is equality and justice. The goal is not, and has never been, getting as many Americans as possible to self-label as feminists. by Ampersand in Feminism
Fri Aug 21 12:31 AM

How do feminists deal with MRAs?

Personally, I first try to distinguish what their intent is. Some MRA's/anti-feminists are actually good decent people who are just confused or misled by some of society's conventions. And to those people, I'd be totally willing to have a discussion with them. I've been in that place of confusion before. The immature trolls and bullies, I have little tolerance for. by minervyx in Feminism
Wed Aug 19 9:07 PM

Can I support the right to choose on issues where I'd never make that choice?

Sure. There's lots of things that I wouldn't personally do (like drugs) but I wouldn't want the government to prohibit them.

I think it would be hypocritical if you were pro-life but wanted an abortion for yourself, which is the exact opposite of what you're saying. by minervyx in Feminism
Wed Aug 19 9:02 PM