Depression

Bitching, whining, complaining, and general negativity

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StarsInUrEye
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Depression

Postby StarsInUrEye » Mon Mar 6, 23:27 2017

Growing old with someone who doesn't want to be with you is hard. I suffer from depression and have long accepted that I can't expect happiness to come from anyone else but myself. It's a struggle. The father of my child and I do things as a family with my daughter but are not together. We are not on each other social media groups and haven't been a couple in years. I'm still struggling on self confidence and have chosen not to date and just work on myself and let things happen at there own pace. But lately at 35 I am gaining more weight, getting grey and feeling old. I'm happy for my friends who praise their supportive husbands. Talking about how they love them regardless of their post baby belly's and such. I don't have that. Especially on the days I notice him starring at young girls. When we were together it honestly didn't brother me as much. But now he won't love me regardless. He doesn't want to be with me regardless. This isn't about a person not wanting to be with me. Its about me not wanting to be with myself, by myself still. Age and time hasn't made it any easier. Drs and pills haven't either. I'm still waiting to fall in love with myself :/

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rowan
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Re: Depression

Postby rowan » Tue Mar 7, 9:39 2017

*hugs*

Depression is hard.

*hugs*
spacefem wrote:All your logical argue are belong to us!

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Nachos
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Re: Depression

Postby Nachos » Fri Mar 10, 8:34 2017

Oh darling, depression is the worst. I am so sorry. All I can offer is support from afar as this is something I am also struggling to learn for myself. One thing I have found helps is singing in a choir. Any choir, any singing ability. Doing something social and musical really helps me lift my mood for a small while every week.
Ugh, I'm tired of my signature.

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Sonic#
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Re: Depression

Postby Sonic# » Fri Mar 10, 8:40 2017

It's a struggle.


*hugs*

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sadsmile123

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Re: Depression

Postby sadsmile123 » Wed Mar 29, 7:43 2017

Hi! I was passing by, looking into the forums. You know, I often feel depressed myself. there were moments when I did not even want to get off the bed to do anything. Everything seems dull, insipid, purposeless. I have started liking myself and everything around me when I started having some routines. Even though I really didn't have any interests at all, I started some random courses/activities in town in my leisure time (do not forget your job!). Not all the activities were fruitful, but I could meet people, have fun, develop some habits (I grow little flowers at home, jog now and then, do other sports, read literature, philosophy, other (boring) stuff), and it somehow worked for me. I don't know if this can help, but you cannot lose anything, right? (oh yes, beware those activities that request much money or full-time commitment - they can be draining)

Be brave! We love you! ;)
*hugs*

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Aum
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Re: Depression

Postby Aum » Thu Mar 30, 13:07 2017

I think you are hung up on what optimal looks like. I don't know of anyone on this journey who loves themselves all the time, unconditionally. Thinking in that way is actually sidestepping the underlying reasons why you feel bad. It also creates enormous pressure to be a certain way in order to be "better". Inner peace and love are our natural states. They become clear in moments when we are not distracted by other crap, like the things our own minds are telling us, our wounds or traumas from the past, or health problems. One thing that mind loves to do is compare. Do you have a loving antidote you can tell yourself when you start comparing others?

"Depression" as a diagnosis is useful but has limits. It puts the whole situation in a box. In my experience, in dealing with depression and now being a health practitioner who treats people for it, we should at some point ditch the word "depression" and take an objective look at the person's life. Usually the problems can be boiled down to a few factors:
1) Diet, exercise, routine lifestyle. If your physical body isn't supported then your neurochemistry won't be supported. Body and mind are the same thing. If the mind is depressed then the body is depressed.
2) Unresolved emotional problems (past or present), including traumas, daily stresses, etc. We hold these in our bodies until they stagnate us.
3) Living a life that is not appropriate for who you are or who you secretly want to be. This one takes a lot of courage to look at, even more to change, but is worth every step.

At least you're acknowledging that it's not about other people, but how you look at yourself. The journey begins there. :)
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote to the emptiness of existence. -W.A.


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