So I have spent the better part of the day reading various discussions on a social network about a particular incident that occurred. The long and short of it is, a woman came out publicly stating that she had been taken advantage of by a man who she and many others respected and trusted, and... well, I don't need to tell you what she said he did to her. At first she got a lot of sympathy, mostly from other women, and other survivors. A couple of other people this man had taken advantage of or hurt came forward against him. That's when people began realizing who was being accused (no names were named in this discussion)... people began coming out of the woodwork to defend him. She got all of the worst comments and accusations you'd expect. She was lying, he was far too nice and respected of a guy to have done it to her, it was her fault, she should have known better. It gets worse. One particular guy doesn't just think it's her fault, he thinks that her assault was justified and acceptable sexual behavior for a man seeing a woman. He didn't just lash out at her, but he lashed out at those showing sympathy for her as well, calling them cunts, berating them for having the gall to call her "strong" for coming forward with her story, accusing them of being Fat, Ugly, or Slutty, and generally spewing the most hate-filled speech I have ever had the displeasure of reading. Here's a few choice samples of things this man ACTUALLY SAID (spoilered because... yeah):
"What was so frightening about his god damn cock you wouldnt just suck it in gratitude for all his time and energy ?"
"I've known that cat for 14 years and I'm calling bullshit . Tuffen up buttercup , you went to one of the least macho posing people I know , someone who's skills you recognized as outstanding and worthwhile and you got frightened when your envelope got pushed a little ? Don't run with the big dogs if you can't keep up"
"now if your gonna hate me baby hate me for a GOOD reason , like looking at your picture it wouldnt surprise me at all if you had a dick! hate me for wondering who the fuck raped all those unattractive women ? Was the NBA in town on a rampage ? bet your fat ass it wasn't me ."
"hey do you mind if I call you a fucking cunt ? Id never do that with out asking you first as it wouldnt be polite , is being called a stupid fucking cunt a hard limit for you baby ?"
Now, this story is probably not going to shock all of you, because... well, most of us are aware that crazy, fucked up shit like this happens. But for anyone who doesn't get rape culture, and victim blaming, THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. This is what women risk when they dare to speak out about being assaulted. Being ostracized by friends, having your character called into question, being accused of making everything up because obviously you were just angry at your ex. This is the reality countless women fear to suffer if they dare to speak up, and they are right to fear it. Because it happens so often. Just in this one discussion a half dozen women (and one man) were all inspired to speak up, for the first time, about the abuses they themselves had suffered at the hands of others, and how they too had been ostracized and been brushed aside when they dared to reveal the truth. So angry right now.