If you're looking for a long-term relationship, you're going to have to address your expectations:
Are you going to continue living with your parents once the relationship serious enough to be committed (if you're not interested in marriage)? If yes: I'm not going to lie, it will reduce your pool of women who will be interested. Because while living with in-laws is something that happens, it usually happens after the couple is already in a committed relationship. On a date, it's not exactly someone's going to be willing to jump into already.
Are you going to expect her to provide enough money to subsist (even frugally) on your own as a couple? If yes: this is less of an issue in my mind than the first one. For example, you could be a good house-husband and SAH (stay at home) father. This is perfectly reasonable expectation for a relationship to be, although ingrained cultural gender roles will still (sadly) reduce your available pool of women. Which is fine, because probably those who would be immediately turned off by that are probably people you don't want to date anyway. However I will note that this means someone is still relying on you
. If they're working hard to provide enough money to support you, and you're just gallivanting off seeing plays and they don't get to relax themselves, it will eventually harbor resentment.
And a new one: are you going to expect her
to be able to take off time whenever you want to go do something (like see your friend's performance, etc)? If yes: this might work if you're living with your parents and she doesn't have to work either, or somehow has a flexible job (they do exist...). But in general someone
is going to have to earn money and that will reduce any flexibility that person has.
And the last one: Suppose you find a woman who is perfectly happy to be just as flexible as you, and just as care-free as you (wouldn't we all love to be able to just jaunt off on a whim to do whatever we'd like!), and is perfectly happy living with your parents so the money side of things is nearly negligible. What happens when your parents die?
Because you know what? They're older than you, and statistically it will happen before you kick it. So you will absolutely need (as a couple) to have a plan in place for that situation.
These are just
the financial considerations. ON TOP OF THAT you are throwing in:
I find social situations to be awkward, unintuitive, and not very fulfilling. (Due to difficulty in connecting with people, I am an eccentric individual and people find it hard to identify with me and vice versa.) I have this idea of what I'm looking for because of this and also because I feel like I know myself well enough to know that I couldn't deal emotionally with just casually "dating" someone
So you are not only a) a serious financial risk, which can totally be overcome if you find someone who is willing to see you as totally awesome; b) already have issues with connecting with people; c) only interested in jumping straight into a serious relationship
, which wouldn't give someone time to actually figure out if you are totally awesome before taking a serious risk, and d) a greater risk emotionally for the woman in question due to your "strong attachment" issues (you mention it would be hard on you, but it will also be hard on her)Any
woman will probably want to be cautious given the risks involved. In general I don't think people will be this rational about it, which only makes it that much harder to find someone.
Again: I'm not saying you're screwed. Many people with non-normative expectations find happy, healthy relationships. But these are things you need to be thinking
about, so that you can address them in the process of communication within a (potential) relationship, and you do have to recognize that due to cultural expectations it will reduce the pool of available women.
[eta: Ama's advice is good too, of course. I'm taking the practical tactic of actual dating conversations. You will need to expect people to ask you things similar to this, if you do try convincing someone to date you. If you just find people through activities, one might expect the friendship to come first, and then maybe move on from there, but at some point this will all come up in some conversation or another and you need to be prepared for it]