Decisions

[Aum]

I'll make it simple.

Living in a city I utterly hate (leading to depression and escapist fantasies) and pursuing my dream career free of charge.

Returning to a city I love and adore in Canada, by paying $15,000 per year for four years out of pocket to pursue my dream.

Now you see my dilemma.

[Charli!]

I took the expensive option and came home, but I'm glad I did. That said, I can't stop wandering what it would have been like if I had stayed, maybe it would have got better? I als got somewhat sidetracked by coming home though, there seemed to be mroe important things to do that follow my dream here and it got left by the wayside somewhat.

Will you dream still be your dream if you stay? Mine faded somewhat, it didn't seem worth the unhappiness of where I was living anymore.

[DWH]

I'm guilty of being a dream chaser, myself, so I'm a bit biased. But I say don't take the easy way out and stay somewhere you're not happy. It makes a huge difference. Unless it's absolutely financially not feasible, I'd say go for it.

[drunken dragon]

I know this is kind of a business-crazy, conservative mindset, but pursuing the dream in the city you don't care for could allow you to really explore and advance in your chosen profession without any other distractions. And there's more room for notice for your hard work and dedication, and of course more money to spare. $15k/yr is mighty steep out-of-pocket, even with student loans. At the end of it all, you'll only be four years older, and then the world will be your oyster. The city may even grow on you, no matter how much you dislike it now.

I say this with love: Suck it up, and take hold of the incredible opportunity awaiting you.

[monkeypoop]

is being miserable for four years of your life worth $60,000? yeah, you could suck it up, but you could also die tomorrow. happiness is a journey, not a destination, and you can't live your life with the mindset that you're working towards one more thing, and then you'll be happy, because it'll never happen. so if you can find a way to be happy and enjoy your life in the city you hate, then maybe you should stay, but if it's impossible, then I think you should go for it.

[Aum]

My ability to stay is contigent upon a few crucial factors.

Part of me thinks that life is too short to think about the money side, and that I should go somewhere that I'm happy. Even while in this program, life isn't JUST about studying. Anytime I've studied, I've had to balance it out with a healthy social life and by doing things that bring me happiness.

If I stay in a place that I hate and feel unfulfilled in, then my studies will suffer anyway... because once I step off campus for the day I'll feel depressed by my surroundings.

But the money... it's so much money to do it back home...

UGH! Why does my life have to have this kind of complication? ALWAYS! It can't just be straightforward!!

The thing is, this program is to become a Doctor. If I do it back home, then work later, I could pay that off, no?

I just don't know anything about this level of money, as I've never taken out loans so steep.

Does anyone here have experience with loans so large? What can you tell me about it? I'm also afraid of financial slavery.

[drunken dragon]

If you take out $60k worth of loans, you will be in financial slavery to the loan office. Don't even question that, because I can guarantee it. Though it depends where you get the loan. A lot of them are very flexible nowadays, and work with you after you've graduated to set a reasonable amout to pay per month, even if you are paying them off until you're 40+.

And I know you could theoretically die tomorrow, yadda yadda. I still say go, seize the opportunity. If it's truly your dream career, how miserable could you be while pursuing it, horrible city or no horrible city? Just my opinion of course.

Edit: I could be biased, however, because I'm currently living in a city which I'm not particularly fond of, and am studying for my English degree. I have a grand total of two friends (I've been here a year), but I'm doing relatively well in school (3.54 GPA) and am looking forward to the future. Just saying.

[rowan]

I think that really depends. Some things to consider:

1) Will any of the credits you're doing now transfer? You may not need to re-do everything, and so can take out fewer total loans.

2) What kinds of salaries do people make doing the kind of doctory things you're going to be doing? I know for lawyers here in the states they wind up typically with over $100K in loans... but then often can get high paying jobs (current economy aside) afterwards to pay them off after not TOO long. It does, however, involve selling their souls for a few years. But it can be feasible.

3) Do you think you can manage to make it through? Being unhappy - and I mean REALLY unhappy to the point of actual depression - is really hard to deal with. Is it possible to spend more time on campus to do your studies (where you might be happy) and then just go home after to sleep? Is it possible to find SOMETHING (and I highly advocate anyone in college/med school/grad school to find some activity to keep you sane) that will make it all right and help you meet people you like?

4) How long will it take you to finish? Do you have three years left of utter misery? Two? One?

This is a complex equation, one that we can't answer for you, of course. One thing that I find helpful for me is to write down pros and cons of each one. Then look at your lists. See which one has more pros than cons. Say "I'll do that." And then if you get a sinking feeling in your gut, do the other one.

[Mathmo]

One thing that I find helpful for me is to write down pros and cons of each one. Then look at your lists. See which one has more pros than cons. Say "I'll do that." And then if you get a sinking feeling in your gut, do the other one.

This is good advice. So's all the rest, but particularly this.

[Aum]

1) Will any of the credits you're doing now transfer? You may not need to re-do everything, and so can take out fewer total loans.

I haven't started the medicine program yet, but yes credit would transfer. I could theoretically do some of it here, and then transfer back to Canada after a couple of years, thereby saving money. But even one more year in this place is... ugh.

2) What kinds of salaries do people make doing the kind of doctory things you're going to be doing? I know for lawyers here in the states they wind up typically with over $100K in loans... but then often can get high paying jobs (current economy aside) afterwards to pay them off after not TOO long. It does, however, involve selling their souls for a few years. But it can be feasible.

Depends on how fast I could establish a client base, and that would require some kind of practice... which in turn would require money. In any case, I don't think I'd pay it off all that fast.

3) Do you think you can manage to make it through? Being unhappy - and I mean REALLY unhappy to the point of actual depression - is really hard to deal with. Is it possible to spend more time on campus to do your studies (where you might be happy) and then just go home after to sleep? Is it possible to find SOMETHING (and I highly advocate anyone in college/med school/grad school to find some activity to keep you sane) that will make it all right and help you meet people you like?

No, I don't think I would. I am already dealing with depression where I am living and I haven't even started this program yet. I think prolonging my stay here would lead to my over all health declining.

4) How long will it take you to finish? Do you have three years left of utter misery? Two? One?

Five.

This is a complex equation, one that we can't answer for you, of course. One thing that I find helpful for me is to write down pros and cons of each one. Then look at your lists. See which one has more pros than cons. Say "I'll do that." And then if you get a sinking feeling in your gut, do the other one.

I know you can't make the decision for me... I'm just trying to get as much feedback as possible to make sure I'm not overlooking anything.

I've done the pros and cons list. Leaving seems like the better option in terms of health, quality of social life, living in a place I truly love... it's just the cost of the program, that's really all it is. I wish I could have my cake and eat it too, but I guess I can't.

My dream is important to me but not so important that I am willing to put on hold my health, social life, and living in a place I enjoy until I am 30. I would basically be living the rest of my 20's somewhere I don't like.

The other thing is... I have been here for 1 year and a lot of that time has been spent adjusting. Things could get better if I spend another year, especially in a program that I like. But, I am highly skeptical. Of the few friends I have already made here, they are all international students and will be leaving at the end of this school year. So in the fall I would be alone, again.

Doesn't seem worth it, really...

[Aum]

I just wanted to revive this thread to let people know what ended up happening.

I left China. In the end the decision was made for me. My body deteriorated severely after my summer trip when I contracted malaria and dysentery simultaneously. My body was so wrecked that returning to Canada was no longer a maybe.

Back in Canada, I spent 4-5 months rebuilding my constitution from the ground up, and just a month ago I started a TCM program here in Vancouver. It's the perfect fit for me. What I was studying before (linguistics) was interesting, but not really my true passion. I will always love languages and will continue to learn them but I don't feel it's my true service to the world.

Every day I'm at school now, I'm loving it. I love doing homework. I love the readings, the theories, and the combination of Eastern and Western medical philosophies. I can't wait to become a doctor and begin healing people. I definitely made the right choice.

If any of you out there just can't let go of a particular idea about a path you might like to walk down in life, even if it's been years and you're still thinking about it, chances are that your heart is singing to you and telling you to give it a try. I would never have pictured myself in this program 3-4 years ago, and now it feels perfectly natural. An idea that may seem crazy to you could actually be the perfect fit.

FYI, I'm 25, and only now am I starting this 4 year program. I was beating myself up about being "late in life", but actually, I am the youngest person at my school. Most people are in their late 20's and early 30's and 40's. One woman in my school is even 70, and taking it out of personal interest! It's never too late in life to change your mind and go down a different road. It just takes will power and a bit of courage to go with what your heart is telling you.

[Dragonrider]

Awesome to hear it working out for you!

Back in Canada, I spent 4-5 months rebuilding my constitution from the ground up

So would you peg yourself as having a Constitution of 12?

[Aum]

Awesome to hear it working out for you!

Back in Canada, I spent 4-5 months rebuilding my constitution from the ground up

So would you peg yourself as having a Constitution of 12?

Nah I'm back to normal now, but after a lot of work. I did a couple of detoxes (one of which was to get rid of parasites), started going to the gym again, and more importantly I'm eating very nutritious food. Vancouver is a clean place so the environment has helped a lot.