TRIGGER WARNINGS: alcoholism, eating disorder, panic attack
A really good friend of mine was dooping around our living room and acting silly and playing really dangerously with a lighter (like, holding it to people's pants) and freaking us out so we tried to take it and she wouldn't let us and then she wanted to go to bed so we went into her room and she fell on her floor and cried and screamed. Our suitemate who's an EMT came in and determined she'd been drinking; we confirmed she'd had two and a half little vodka shot bottles that the 21st birthday boy last night hadn't wanted. A while in she showed us that she'd also hidden a bottle of tequila that had been about 3/4 full when we stopped partying last night. When she pulled it out of her closet and chucked it at us it was nearly empty.
I've only seen her abuse alcohol once before and it was last year, so I was hardly considering that she had an alcohol problem, let alone squirreling away tequila and drinking that much of it at once on Sunday. I did know she's been fighting a life-threatening eating disorder for years now, and that she's been going through something for a few weeks/months that she hasn't wanted to talk to me about, although a few of her/our close friends have been and she's been to some psychs so I considered her taken care of (well, to an extent that I couldn't do anything). But even though I knew all this, I was still handling it wrong because she is so good at everything she does and I kept saying stuff about how perfect I think she is and all this time her perfection has been killing her--eating disorders are the disease of the perfectionist--and now there's this too. I feel guilty and very afraid.
There were 4 of us with her; she was really hostile to the idea of calling the EMTs on call and our friend decided she would probably become violent if we did. We all stayed and shooshed and helped until we determined that she was not fully unconscious (i.e. no alcohol poisoning) and she'll be fine in a couple hours, which we will spend monitoring her vitals, but still. This is really scary.