Moderators: deanimal, lillerina, Tookie


If you think about it, then men who go to strip clubs are the ones being taken advantage of, monetarily.


postfeminist wrote:the average stripper earns $3,000 a week in the US.


Sonic# wrote:If you think about it, then men who go to strip clubs are the ones being taken advantage of, monetarily.
This is a gem of a sexist statement. Yes, because men are forced to go to strip clubs, and the prices are high, they have no choice but to pay their livelihood.

postfeminist wrote:If a man just goes and sits in the club, chooses to buy a few drinks, watch the show, then he's there out of his own free will. When dancers flirt with him in order to get him to spend more money, he's being taken advantage of. If you go out to buy a TV, and come home with a much larger TV, and an entire home theater system, because someone talked you into it, that's one thing. If someone used sexual coercion to accomplish getting someone to spend more, it's sexual harassment.
postfeminist wrote:And before anyone says anything about the environment and expectations of a strip club, and that he chose to go there, I need to point out that this is pretty much the same as saying a girl chose to wear a miniskirt, so harassment is understandable, which it is not.

helium wrote:Every vagina is different, right? A unique and original vag-snowflake?

postfeminist wrote: My friend Tanner ended up spending like $750 on one girl over the course of a month (which isn't pro for a broke college student, everyone makes fun of him), because she would lie to him, say she liked him, etc.



Neko wrote:postfeminist wrote:If a man just goes and sits in the club, chooses to buy a few drinks, watch the show, then he's there out of his own free will. When dancers flirt with him in order to get him to spend more money, he's being taken advantage of. If you go out to buy a TV, and come home with a much larger TV, and an entire home theater system, because someone talked you into it, that's one thing. If someone used sexual coercion to accomplish getting someone to spend more, it's sexual harassment.
Right, because men and women who choose to go to strip clubs to spend money feel oh-so sexually harassed and used by the barely-dressed temptresses who just happen to be there as employees.
Sounds like someone needs to get a lawsuit going that will result in strip clubs being required by law to post a sign on the door of their business that says, "WARNING: You may be sexually coerced to spend your money at this facility."
I know logic doesn't exist in the vacuum of the internet and no one will hear the screams, but come on. This is ridiculous.
monk wrote:postfeminist wrote: My friend Tanner ended up spending like $750 on one girl over the course of a month (which isn't pro for a broke college student, everyone makes fun of him), because she would lie to him, say she liked him, etc.
How is this any different than if Tanner had met the girl at Starbucks, and she convinced him to buy her new clothes, fancy dinners etc and then dumped him when he wouldn't spend money on her anymore?
Tookie wrote:A feminist argument against sex work often goes that if people are being forced into it because they don't have any other options, they aren't actually making a choice. A rebuttal that a classmate shared was given that some people might find themselves in a situation in which sex work is the only (or most) viable option, denying them the right to call their decision a choice is only stripping them (no pun intended) of any agency they have left.
Tookie wrote:Lots of people in lots of professions coerce people to spend money. That's definitely not unique to sex work.

Why? they're gifts. No one is putting a gun to his head. Institutionalized confidence schemes promise a certain amount of financial return on financial investment. The girl can give sex for free anytime she wants, so the smart thing would be to get the sex first. if she's selling it but is not a prostitute it's obvious from the start it's at your own risk to give things to her. especially when there's no discussion of specifics ie. what is the value of new shoes in sexual currency?postfeminist wrote:Both would be wrong on behalf of the woman, the difference is that gifts != paycheck. Either way, they are not particularly different from an institutionalized confidence scheme.
In the others, the sexual attention is unwanted and the environment is of a non sexual nature. Touching people is also taboo, unless you happen to be in a dojo learning martial arts. The environment changes the rules. Also, If you're in a strip club and a girl comes by all you have to do is shake your head no and she will move on. Even faster is to shake your head no and say "no money" and she will tell her friends and you will really be left alone.postfeminist wrote:It's not, but in all the others SEXUALLY coercing people is sexual harassment.

monk wrote:Why? they're gifts. No one is putting a gun to his head. Institutionalized confidence schemes promise a certain amount of financial return on financial investment. The girl can give sex for free anytime she wants, so the smart thing would be to get the sex first. if she's selling it but is not a prostitute it's obvious from the start it's at your own risk to give things to her. especially when there's no discussion of specifics ie. what is the value of new shoes in sexual currency?postfeminist wrote:Both would be wrong on behalf of the woman, the difference is that gifts != paycheck. Either way, they are not particularly different from an institutionalized confidence scheme.
In the others, the sexual attention is unwanted and the environment is of a non sexual nature. Touching people is also taboo, unless you happen to be in a dojo learning martial arts. The environment changes the rules. Also, If you're in a strip club and a girl comes by all you have to do is shake your head no and she will move on. Even faster is to shake your head no and say "no money" and she will tell her friends and you will really be left alone.postfeminist wrote:It's not, but in all the others SEXUALLY coercing people is sexual harassment.



PF wrote:So... a man choosing to go into a strip club is different than a woman choosing to dress like a stripper... how? Both were choices, both are provocative, both can end up in sexual harassment, but only one robs you, and only the other is wrong. I'm just saying. The people I've known to go to strip clubs go for the show/drinks, not to have pseudo-sleasy liars try to trick/seduce them out of money.

Both are morally wrong, but they're not illegal. We don't pass laws on moral issues. Take adultery for instance, everyone agrees it's morally wrong, but no one goes to jail over it.postfeminist wrote:So, manipulating a girl into sex with a promise is wrong... but using the false promise of sex to manipulate people is not?That sounds like a difficult position to back up. It sounds like an impossibility to enforce morality in any real way, especially when it's a change in morality, but it doesn't excuse those who do it.
I would say it's a two way street here, there are women who manipulate men and there are men who vanish after they "seal the deal". Resentment & distrust flow both ways, so the best thing to do is act morally yourself so that you're not a contributor.postfeminist wrote:Women who do this fuck up everything for everyone. They cause resent, etc. in men, which leads men to distrust women, and so on... I'm not saying it's something easy to deal with, but the source of a lot of problems for everyone.
Having been in dozens of strip clubs in 3 countries, I will say that though the approach is sometimes more aggressive, once a woman realizes there's no money to had she moves on. Stripclubs are retail business environments, the product is GFE(girl friend experience) and the specific menu of price & what type of GFE is up for negotiation, and depending on where you are that menu could have anything on it from conversation and 6 inches of space between you at all times to full intercourse. And while the price is negotiable the menu is usually not.postfeminist wrote:This has not been my experience, the one time I went to a strip club (for a business meeting, I thought it was stupid too) I had actually just had my wallet stollen. Admittedly, I was dressed nicely in a fairly flamboyant fashion (given that a suit was involved) but I had to deal with nearly every girl in the place more than once, even after telling them my wallet was stolen... a couple even felt me up in a way which seemed like they were checking me for it (I can't know their intentions, but given specific locations, I'm assuming).

Sonic# wrote:"Want" can mean "desire" or "prefer" though, which plays into what Axiomatic says.PF wrote:So... a man choosing to go into a strip club is different than a woman choosing to dress like a stripper... how? Both were choices, both are provocative, both can end up in sexual harassment, but only one robs you, and only the other is wrong. I'm just saying. The people I've known to go to strip clubs go for the show/drinks, not to have pseudo-sleasy liars try to trick/seduce them out of money.
Different space, different context, different choice. Also, you seem to give very little credence to a consumer's ability to withstand protection, suggesting that they deserve excessive protection from willingly giving their money under the influence of... sex? If that's so, you'd have to pull a lot of advertising too. Also, I would look very hard at restaurants that smell like food, because that's so tough to turn down. Oh, and retail stores with music? Damned if I wasn't robbed there too.
Expected financial transactions are not thievery. Tone down your rhetoric.
There are also women who will vanish after sex happens, I can't think of any general examples of men taking advantage of women monetarily. That said, it's likely just like... spousal abuse. It's assumed that it goes one way, so people don't talk about the other side. *shrug* Well said.monk wrote:I would say it's a two way street here, there are women who manipulate men and there are men who vanish after they "seal the deal". Resentment & distrust flow both ways, so the best thing to do is act morally yourself so that you're not a contributor.postfeminist wrote:Women who do this fuck up everything for everyone. They cause resent, etc. in men, which leads men to distrust women, and so on... I'm not saying it's something easy to deal with, but the source of a lot of problems for everyone.
Strip clubs are part of the service industry, actually, but that doesn't matter. Chances are it happened because it was earlier in the day, and the place wasn't very busy... they had a free buffet though (the reason the location was chosen, also, probably, to "look pimp" or whatever). My problem was that I was totally ignoring them, and they would constantly be pestering, etc, etc... my friend said it was because I'm attractive, I don't really care. My experience is just my own, the problem is just that it's easy to go from... the menu and a drink to drunk and unable to coherently make decisions. Sex and alcohol are very powerful inebriates, especially when combined, and if you get someone drunk, you can very easily manipulate them... just like when drunk girls are taken advantage of. I'm not trying to say that financial damages are comparable to rape, but if you woke up the next day, memory stopping half way through the night, and a $20,000 bill... you'd probably be mad.Having been in dozens of strip clubs in 3 countries, I will say that though the approach is sometimes more aggressive, once a woman realizes there's no money to had she moves on. Stripclubs are retail business environments, the product is GFE(girl friend experience) and the specific menu of price & what type of GFE is up for negotiation, and depending on where you are that menu could have anything on it from conversation and 6 inches of space between you at all times to full intercourse. And while the price is negotiable the menu is usually not.postfeminist wrote:This has not been my experience, the one time I went to a strip club (for a business meeting, I thought it was stupid too) I had actually just had my wallet stollen. Admittedly, I was dressed nicely in a fairly flamboyant fashion (given that a suit was involved) but I had to deal with nearly every girl in the place more than once, even after telling them my wallet was stolen... a couple even felt me up in a way which seemed like they were checking me for it (I can't know their intentions, but given specific locations, I'm assuming).
I can see why the women didn't believe you when you said your wallet was stolen, because if you don't have enough money to at least buy a drink, stripclubs usually don't allow you to just hang out. As for being felt up, I realize one mistake you were likely making was eye contact. You have to make it, and get their attention. If you're distracted by all the nakedness around you, you are unconsciously sending out the signal of "please come talk to me"

!
Rainbow Dolphins wrote:Dude, you are really missing the point about victim-blaming. If you get drunk and spend $20,000 at a strip club, that is something YOU DID while you were drunk. Those were your actions. If you got really drunk and someone raped you, that is something someone did TO YOU while you were drunk. That's why when you're raped, you're a victim, and when you spend a bunch of money, you're held accountable.
You're still thinking of rape as something a woman submits to... it's not, she has no choice. She doesn't get drunk and decide to let herself get raped, like a person can get drunk and decide to give people money in circumstances that they wouldn't have spent as much had their judgement been better. Being raped is not a matter of bad judgement.


You are assuming all rape is violent

Sonic# wrote:I can assure you that none of us assume that rape is violent. Funny that you would assume that we assume that though. (Then again, in a PM to me, you assumed that we thought that Islam didn't exist. Funny, that.)
You're comparing a financial transaction to a sexual encounter.
These are not equivalent in gravity.

Users browsing this forum: monk and 0 guests