Misogyny and victim blaming... yes, they still exist

[propatriachy]

Okay, so you're insulted because you're being lumped in with the opposite gender? I'm sorry but the sexes are much more similar than they are dissimilar. How exactly does it hurt you to be told that men and women respond in similar ways to emotional abuse, etc? What stake do you have in being fundamentally different from women? The problem is that there are many different kinds of people out there, and we can't pigeon hole people based on preconceived notions of gender. Because while we do tend to share many fundamental characteristics, even between man and man or woman and woman, there can be very significant differences in how we think and act. So the idea is less that we lump everyone together, and more that we try to account for and be understanding of all different types of people out there. We recognize that there are men who act more like the traditional idea of a woman, and vice versa. We try to understand that you can't ascribe certain traits to someone based solely on their sex. So we're not saying that men and women are the same, we're saying that there are sufficient women who feel similarly that we can't ignore them in the discussion.

On the other hand, what does this have to do with misogyny or victim blaming? Are you trying to blame women for emasculating men and thereby turning them into rapists? Because that would be hilarious in a sad, sad way. But it looks like you are attempting to turn this topic into a topic about men, in which case I would ask you to create your own topic to address that argument in a relevant context. Emotional abuse is certainly not beneficial though, regardless of who is delivering it.

I love women but I feel it's important to celebrate our differences, if a woman tried to be more masculine than me I'd find it a bit toxic, to stop men expressing masculine energy is the best way to damage them, if you have a son and daughter you got to learnt the differences it's important for their development.

[Snarky]

But why do you think this way? I'd say about 99% of what you consider 'masculine' or 'eminine' is just unhealthy social constructs that have changed drastically throughout history. What would possibly make a women 'acting more masculine' then you, do to hurt you? Why do children need to learn about this imaginary set of fundamental difference?

but to reiterate Anna, I still don't see what this has to do with the topic at hand.

[liam7878]

But why do you think this way? I'd say about 99% of what you consider 'masculine' or 'eminine' is just unhealthy social constructs that have changed drastically throughout history. What would possibly make a women 'acting more masculine' then you, do to hurt you? Why do children need to learn about this imaginary set of fundamental difference?

but to reiterate Anna, I still don't see what this has to do with the topic at hand.

Ok i got banned, apparantly im a troll?

Im sure i'll get banned again but before I do i'd like to leave you with this.


Socially, I would say most people in the modern world are taught that there is no such thing as masculine/feminine etc but yet my own emotions and body tell me otherwise, it tells me i want to love women but that im not the same as them and its my beleif men and women are wired differently

I'm a qualified eft practictioner (emotional freedom technique) and have done a lot of work on masculine/feminine energy etc

Heres a few vids which talks about masculine/femine energy, the guy on the vid is not me but its simila to the stuff i've been working on and its the closest i could, youll note its certainly not female hating, far from it. A woman would hurt me if she blocked my masculine energy as its a part of who I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9tJbDQWfKA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0y3M0fNqqE

heres another great vid by a female which tells you how to treat men in a respectful way and in trun get threated the same way yourself,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr9GgHth ... 1338169756

[monk]

The reason you got banned was because your tone seemed to say that verbal abuse could somehow justify rape. Don't do that anymore.This is an official warning and yes you will be banned and so will your IP if you continue, m'kay?

Verbal/emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical, society doesn't always recognise that but any psychologist or therapist will.

Any psychologist or therapist will say they are damaging, but the damage is different. Verbal/emotional abuse doesn't break your bones and send you to the hospital or kill you outright. and while you can suffer emotional damage as a result of physical damage (and you usually do) you don't suffer physical damage as a result of verbal abuse. So while they are both damaging they are fundamentally different.

Also monk with they way you changed some of the words Your belittling minimising male/ female gender differences which isn't a cool thing to do or for a male to hear.

I am certainly minimizing the differences between the genders, as has already been stated the genders are much more alike than they are different.

If you torment a dog long enough eventally it will snap, any dog will unless you surpress it so much it just gives up or medicate it, humans are no different.

Humans are hugely different than dogs, critical thinking and anticipation of consequences alone make us humans distinctly superior. Expecting people to behave no better thhan a dogs is a pathetic underestimation of the complexity of humans.

[Gabriel]

But why do you think this way? I'd say about 99% of what you consider 'masculine' or 'eminine' is just unhealthy social constructs that have changed drastically throughout history. What would possibly make a women 'acting more masculine' then you, do to hurt you? Why do children need to learn about this imaginary set of fundamental difference?

but to reiterate Anna, I still don't see what this has to do with the topic at hand.

Ok i got banned, apparantly im a troll?

Im sure i'll get banned again but before I do i'd like to leave you with this.


Socially, I would say most people in the modern world are taught that there is no such thing as masculine/feminine etc but yet my own emotions and body tell me otherwise, it tells me i want to love women but that im not the same as them and its my beleif men and women are wired differently

I'm a qualified eft practictioner (emotional freedom technique) and have done a lot of work on masculine/feminine energy etc

Heres a few vids which talks about masculine/femine energy, the guy on the vid is not me but its simila to the stuff i've been working on and its the closest i could, youll note its certainly not female hating, far from it. A woman would hurt me if she blocked my masculine energy as its a part of who I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9tJbDQWfKA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0y3M0fNqqE

heres another great vid by a female which tells you how to treat men in a respectful way and in trun get threated the same way yourself,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr9GgHth ... 1338169756

I would love to know which part of the modern world you are living in to believe this is true. A massive part of the global consumer economy relies on the fact that we are sorted into "masculine" and "feminine" from birth.

[Neko]

I love women but I feel it's important to celebrate our differences, if a woman tried to be more masculine than me I'd find it a bit toxic, to stop men expressing masculine energy is the best way to damage them, if you have a son and daughter you got to learnt the differences it's important for their development.

I'm naturally a more masculine female. I suppose that makes me toxic. Good to know.

[rowan]

You an' me, sistah. *fistbumps neko*

[edit the sad parts]

You an' me, sistah. *fistbumps neko*

I thought that was "fisthumps".

[propatriachy]

I love women but I feel it's important to celebrate our differences, if a woman tried to be more masculine than me I'd find it a bit toxic, to stop men expressing masculine energy is the best way to damage them, if you have a son and daughter you got to learnt the differences it's important for their development.

I'm naturally a more masculine female. I suppose that makes me toxic. Good to know.

I'd day society has conditioned you that way, it's unlikely you actually are, I'm sure your son is re dived to know he has a toxic mother.

[Neko]

You make an awful lot of assumptions about complete strangers on the internet. Seems like a common mistake among people who have no idea what they're talking about.

I'd day society has conditioned you that way, it's unlikely you actually are

It would be a waste of time to pick through my life story for the countless examples of society conditioning me to be feminine and rejecting me for failing to fit into everyone else's cookie-cutter gender ideals. There's really no need for me to try to convince you of anything simply because I have lived in this body my entire life and you have not. Also, if you knew anything about the way sex hormones actually work, you wouldn't make half of the bogus assertions you desparately cling onto.

I'm sure your son is re dived to know he has a toxic mother.

Again with the assumptions--like that everything with a uterus is going to make babies. The only toxic thing present here is your ignorance.

[Tookie]

^ or that you even have a uterus

[Kalpine]

Gosh, have been away for a little while, then this was the first topic I read..... Everyone is sounding so upset over people's different opinions. I don't know how it could be seen as trolling; perhaps it's worthwhile to listen to an opinion different to your own - i always find it useful, even if I do want to construct arguments against something I believe to be incorrect.

Back to the subject at hand... Victim blaming exists in other areas, not just rape (and it's something that has happened to me; it was my boyfriend at the time who forced me; and it has screwed my life life up to a certain extent - never reported it though; it seemed pointless).

On another area where the victim is blamed..... Motorbike riders. I unfortunately was in an accident 15 years ago now where my knees took all of the impact - carved them open to the kneecap - and all the medical staff, and anyone I knew told me I was "asking for it" by being on a motorbike. As a little experiment I started saying it was a bicycle accident and the response was completely different... It's another area where the victim appears to be seen at fault based on the prejudices held about people (in this case, thinking all motorbike riders are risktaking hooligans, "temporary australian" is the common phrase).

I'm sure there are many more areas where blaming the victim occurs. It's a horrible experience no matter what.

[propatriachy]

You make an awful lot of assumptions about complete strangers on the internet. Seems like a common mistake among people who have no idea what they're talking about.

I'd day society has conditioned you that way, it's unlikely you actually are

It would be a waste of time to pick through my life story for the countless examples of society conditioning me to be feminine and rejecting me for failing to fit into everyone else's cookie-cutter gender ideals. There's really no need for me to try to convince you of anything simply because I have lived in this body my entire life and you have not. Also, if you knew anything about the way sex hormones actually work, you wouldn't make half of the bogus assertions you desparately cling onto.

I'm sure your son is re dived to know he has a toxic mother.

Again with the assumptions--like that everything with a uterus is going to make babies. The only toxic thing present here is your ignorance.

That's an ignorant thing to say, if I have an opinion about gender you say Im making assumptions, yet if a feminist has her opinion on genders thats considered fine? Double standard
Ds I o.

[julia-spacefem]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_ ... h_typology

Anger rape
See also: Corrective rape
The aim of this rapist is to humiliate, debase and hurt their victim; they express their contempt for their victim through physical violence and profane language. For these rapists, sex is a weapon to defile and degrade the victim, rape constitutes the ultimate expression of their anger. This rapist considers rape the ultimate offense they can commit against the victim.
Anger rape is characterized by physical brutality, much more physical force is used during the assault than would be necessary if the intent were simply to overpower the victim and achieve penetration. This type of offender attacks their victim by grabbing, striking and knocking the victim to the ground, beating them, tearing their clothes, and raping them.
The experience for the offender is one that is of conscious anger and rage.[1]
[edit]Power rape
For these rapists, rape becomes a way to compensate for their underlying feelings of inadequacy and feeds their issues of mastery, control, strength, authority and capability. The intent of the power rapist is to assert their competency. The power rapist relies upon verbal threats, intimidation with a weapon, and only uses the amount of force necessary to subdue the victim.
The power rapists tends to have fantasies about sexual conquests and rape. They may believe that even though the victim initially resists them, that once they overpower their victim, the victim will eventually enjoy the rape. The rapist needs to believe that the victim enjoyed what was done to them, and they may even ask the victim to meet them for a date later.
Because this is only a fantasy, the rapist does not feel reassured for long by either their own performance or the victim's response. The rapist feels that they must find another victim, convinced that this victim will be "the right one".
Hence, their offenses may become repetitive and compulsive. They may commit a series of rapes over a short period of time. This is the most common type of rapist in the United States.[2]
[edit]Sadistic rape
For these rapists, they have a sexual association with anger and power so that aggression and the infliction of pain itself is eroticized. For this rapist, sexual excitement is associated with the inflicting of pain upon his victim. The offender finds the intentional maltreatment of his victim intensely gratifying and takes pleasure in the victim's torment, anguish, distress, helplessness, and suffering;[3] he/she finds the victim's struggling with him/her to be an erotic experience.
Sadistic rape usually involves extensive, prolonged torture and restraint. Sometimes it can take on ritualistic or other bizarre qualities. The rapist may use some type of instrument or foreign object to penetrate his/her victim. Sexual areas of the victim's body become a specific focus of injury or abuse.
The sadistic rapist's assaults are deliberate, calculated and preplanned. They will often wear a disguise or will blindfold their victims.[3] Prostitutes or other people whom they perceive to be "promiscuous" are often the sadistic rapist's targets. The victims of a sadistic rapist may not survive the attack. For some offenders, the ultimate satisfaction is gained from murdering the victim.[1]

I have also read somewhere (can't google it now) that there was a research where they asked a group of ordinary men "would you commit a rape if there are no consequences?" and 50% of the group admitted that yes. It pretty much tells that 1. everyone is likely to know a rapist (in a lifetime there is always a chance of an "inconsequential" event) 2. "fantasy rapists" will be on the side of the real ones (do you talk they were swearing? using profanities? ok, read the first description - they were trying to "rape" the victim and her supporters) 3. Why is it "still exists"? Is it getting better, or actually worse?

[Ama]

Still exists is because there are a lot of people who seem to think that it doesn't exist, so this was supposed to be a message to the contrary.

[Aum]

I have also read somewhere (can't google it now) that there was a research where they asked a group of ordinary men "would you commit a rape if there are no consequences?" and 50% of the group admitted that yes. It pretty much tells that 1. everyone is likely to know a rapist (in a lifetime there is always a chance of an "inconsequential" event) 2. "fantasy rapists" will be on the side of the real ones (do you talk they were swearing? using profanities? ok, read the first description - they were trying to "rape" the victim and her supporters) 3. Why is it "still exists"? Is it getting better, or actually worse?

Fantasizing about rape does not make one a rapist anymore than fantasizing about being raped makes one a victim, and both exist in people's fantasy land. Research also shows that although many people fantasize about rape, practically all of those people would be mortified if sex were ever forced upon them.

The fantasies, I think, come from rape culture. It's not a sign of pathology or an inherent rapist.