You know it's gonna be a great week...

Bitching, whining, complaining, and general negativity

Moderator: Bork

Locked
User avatar
DarkOne
member
member
Posts: 433
Joined: Mon Apr 6, 5:42 2015
Location: US

You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by DarkOne » Mon Oct 10, 7:47 2016

When, Monday before 8AM, you walk in on your male colleagues:
"... name one man who's never talked like that... ONE..."
... then they see you
Image
... and crickets ensue.

Great way to start my work week. "Report this kind of behavior to HR" says the sexual harassment training. Yeah, right, that's how the real world works.
FML.
"Winston Churchill once said 'The eyes are the windows of your face.' " -A man who's very scared of plants.

User avatar
rowan
member
member
Posts: 9565
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 11:01 2004
Location: US

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by rowan » Mon Oct 10, 9:34 2016

*lists several*

Sorry your coworkers suck.
spacefem wrote:All your logical argue are belong to us!

User avatar
Neko
member
member
Posts: 5762
Joined: Tue Jun 3, 1:33 2003
Contact:

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by Neko » Mon Oct 10, 9:39 2016

Ew. I'm sorry.

I used to be around a group of people like that. They wouldn't outright do or say whatever it was that they were defending but would still dismiss it as something "all guys do/say." But it wasn't work so I had the freedom to get out of that environment.

Maybe after that moment of awkwardness, it won't get brought up again? (They still suck, though.)
:sun: The future's bright, Lit up with nowhere to go :earth:

User avatar
DarkOne
member
member
Posts: 433
Joined: Mon Apr 6, 5:42 2015
Location: US

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by DarkOne » Mon Oct 10, 11:02 2016

rowan wrote:Sorry your coworkers suck.
Meh, they're mostly ok, and the working environment used to be fine, but this election seems to be bring out unexpected attitudes from unexpected people. In all fairness, this is not completely unexpected from this one guy. They probably think this election has made me humorless.
Neko wrote:Maybe after that moment of awkwardness, it won't get brought up again? (They still suck, though.).
Yeah, no, it happened again, but there were two of us death glaring. I think they think they're playing "poke the anthill with the stick". Sigh. Here's hoping to have the last laugh.

Edit: I'm not annoyed at the leak... that's unsurprising, and made for a pretty funny SNL bit. I'm annoyed that it gets brought up at a time and place at which I'm not at liberty to candidly debate/respond. Like COME ON, you can't wait for the parking lot, at least?
"Winston Churchill once said 'The eyes are the windows of your face.' " -A man who's very scared of plants.

User avatar
Unvoiced_Apollo
member
member
Posts: 539
Joined: Wed Sep 9, 9:54 2015

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by Unvoiced_Apollo » Wed Oct 12, 6:21 2016

DarkOne wrote:When, Monday before 8AM, you walk in on your male colleagues:
"... name one man who's never talked like that... ONE..."
... then they see you
Image
... and crickets ensue.

Great way to start my work week. "Report this kind of behavior to HR" says the sexual harassment training. Yeah, right, that's how the real world works.
FML.
If I walked in on that I'd smile & say my name. Why smile? Because the death glare is my neutral face, so fake smiling would be much more intimidating

filmmakingally

Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 0:40 2016

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by filmmakingally » Thu Oct 13, 0:18 2016

Here's the part you don't want to hear -- most American men have spoken like that at some point in their life, including this one. I am the product of my environment, am I not? When you're raised in a misogynist patriarchy (that's redundant, I know), how does one not pick up the attitudes about women that our society teaches us to believe? It's taken me a long time to get to the place I am, wherein I make a conscious effort to understand and fight against the ways in which I've benefited from privilege and how I've allowed it to seep into my own behaviors and attitudes. And I was raised by a feminist.

The sad truth is that most men do not make such an effort. As far as it being "locker room talk", yeah, actually it is. Anyone who has played American football can attest to hearing conversations like that, and probably also taking part in them. High school football locker rooms are incredibly misogynistic and even more homophobic. Needless to say, I am not saying this to somehow condone the behavior -- it is abhorrent. I'm just letting you know a perspective that most people on this forum haven't seen first-hand.

And though condemn the kind of behavior (mysoginist conversations) that I personally took part in during my high school years, I do want to point out that there's a very big difference between that and what Trump was caught doing. I was a child. I was in a stage of development in which it's common for boys to begin asserting their masculinity. That doesn't make these kinds of nasty comments okay, but I'd hope someone could at least understand that I was just a teenager trying to fit in with his peers. Donald Trump was 47 years old when he made those comments, and he was making them while on camera, in public, while at work. The kinds of conversations I regret taking part in were more boyish fantasy than anything else, and they took place in the most private place we could find. If Trump, as an adult and while in public, brags about having committed sexual assault, imagine the things he says and does while protected by private space. That man is fucking deplorable.

User avatar
Unvoiced_Apollo
member
member
Posts: 539
Joined: Wed Sep 9, 9:54 2015

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by Unvoiced_Apollo » Thu Oct 13, 6:19 2016

filmmakingally wrote:The kinds of conversations I regret taking part in were more boyish fantasy than anything else, and they took place in the most private place we could find. If Trump, as an adult and while in public, brags about having committed sexual assault, imagine the things he says and does while protected by private space. That man is fucking deplorable.
The bolded is where I think things diverge. There's raunchy locker room fantasy talk (which men & women can both engage in) and then there's saying outright that you can sexually assault someone.

The worst I've heard is "What I wouldn't do to X" or "I'd love to take X over my Y". I'll admit this in itself is problematic, but this is stupid fantasy talk that never leaves the privacy of the group (or is not meant to). Perhaps you have heard things as bad as what Trump said, but I haven't. Just raunchy fantasy talk that people of both genders have engaged in. Trump, on the other hand, while at work openly brags about forcing himself on women.

filmmakingally

Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 0:40 2016

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by filmmakingally » Fri Oct 14, 2:27 2016

Unvoiced_Apollo wrote:
filmmakingally wrote:The kinds of conversations I regret taking part in were more boyish fantasy than anything else, and they took place in the most private place we could find. If Trump, as an adult and while in public, brags about having committed sexual assault, imagine the things he says and does while protected by private space. That man is fucking deplorable.
The bolded is where I think things diverge. There's raunchy locker room fantasy talk (which men & women can both engage in) and then there's saying outright that you can sexually assault someone.

The worst I've heard is "What I wouldn't do to X" or "I'd love to take X over my Y". I'll admit this in itself is problematic, but this is stupid fantasy talk that never leaves the privacy of the group (or is not meant to). Perhaps you have heard things as bad as what Trump said, but I haven't. Just raunchy fantasy talk that people of both genders have engaged in. Trump, on the other hand, while at work openly brags about forcing himself on women.
No, I'm in full agreement with all of what you just said. To clarify, I've never heard any man or boy brag about sexual assault. I only meant to say that it's fairly common for teenage boys to make some horribly degrading comments about girls and women. But yes, there's a clear difference between that and what Trump said.

User avatar
Rainbow Dolphins
member
member
Posts: 9673
Joined: Mon Nov 4, 1:48 2002
Location: In your closet. Armed.

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by Rainbow Dolphins » Fri Oct 21, 17:43 2016

I think there are a lot of spaces that harbor a culture of dirty jokes and lewd conversations- I work in a kitchen (full of women) and we have had plenty of conversations/jokes amongst ourselves that would be completely inappropriate in polite society. It was the same when I was in culinary school. Telling everyone how you sexually assaulted someone is a different kind of thing.
"Everything's gonna be OK soon, maybe tomorrow- maybe the next day." -the Mountain Goats
:chainsaw:!

User avatar
Nerd1987
member
member
Posts: 622
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 0:01 2015

Re: You know it's gonna be a great week...

Post by Nerd1987 » Sat Oct 29, 21:18 2016

In response to the OP: Your coworkers aren't thinking about this the right way. This media coverage is good in my eyes for making guys realize NOT to talk like this even if they have in the past.

I think what trump said could be him trying to get attention and look like a dominating person. I bet he knows how foolish it was now.

Locked