Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

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Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by garbage videos » Sat Oct 29, 15:47 2016

Long story short I am basically a 20-30 year old virgin. I don't identify as a Man, but I am not a female, so ze pronouns please.

Long story short I am attracted to Women. Women are beautiful in my book. Long story short, I am being stalked by a crazy staker man. Bottom line, it's like this. I like women but I get no women, instead what I get is a crazy stalker man who doesn't even arouse me at all and won't let me alone. He is not my type and doesn't arouse me at all. But he keeps showing up at my door, stalking me around town, and flooding my phone and wasting my precious minutes. It is because of his black male privilege that he thinks he can knock on my door all the time. I literally locked my body in the closet due to fear one time. What do I do to stop his male privilege? Due to the patriarchy, if I report him to the PoPo they will send him papers which tell him to not get near me (revealing my Legal Name which will allow him to stalk me even deeper). Then, because I am not a cis, when I die my name will be on a stone plaque in a LGBT center that I hate and my name will be used to give the LGBT center fame and fortune they don't deserve, because same as Equality Michigan and Fair Michigan, they are a corrupt and useless organization which will not help me at all.

Long story short, bottom line is it's like this. I like women but I get no women, instead what I get is a crazy stalker man who doesn't even arouse me at all and won't let me alone. Instead of a hot girl I love I get a crazy stalker man who isn't even hot. I am in hell. I rue the day that I was born. My life is maximum misery. If there was a car, not a race car but a cheap-o car for old people, and you put the pedal to the medal on maximum overdrive, making an annoying noise, it would be like that - maximum overdrive, but instead of going down the road, its going down your soul, and it's the maximum overdrive of misery, and just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, they stomp on the pedal and make it even worse. Maximum overdrive misery.

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Nerd1987
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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Nerd1987 » Sat Oct 29, 21:28 2016

How do you know they are corrupt organizations?

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Sonic# » Sun Oct 30, 7:04 2016

I'd suggest, for starters, not using a request for advise to bash "LGBT centers" and African American men.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by garbage videos » Sun Oct 30, 13:27 2016

Sonic# wrote:I'd suggest, for starters, not using a request for advise to bash "LGBT centers" and African American men.
My advice is to focus on my immediate physical needs, such as my bodily safety for instance. After that is taken care of and addressed then we can discuss politics.

Your words are misleading sounding. I only bashed on one particular african american man, not plural african american men. I also only bashed a couple LGBT centers, and based of the tone of wording you used it implies that I bashed the concept of LGBT centers in general.

The LGBT centers I referred to deserve to be bashed, they are corrupt self-congratulating organizations that pretend to help people, but when you are actually in a fix they are nowhere to be found and suddenly turn a blind eye, they are false samaritans. Defending these corrupt organizations is a disservice to actual LGBT's and non-cis individuals who are in need of assistance.

Secondly I am black myself so I have the black privilege to criticize other blacks. If you are not black I must politely request that you check your privilege. There is a such thing as black male privilege and black patriarchy uses it to intimidate both women and the non-cis of society, but they tend to particularly disrespect the non-cis even more than cis-women.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Nerd1987 » Sun Oct 30, 20:16 2016

For what it's worth there is an LGBT center in ferndale Michigan that seems to have very caring people working there. It's called affirmations and they have a website.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by DarkOne » Mon Oct 31, 4:34 2016

Your closet... has an inside lock?
"Winston Churchill once said 'The eyes are the windows of your face.' " -A man who's very scared of plants.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Sonic# » Mon Oct 31, 6:04 2016

I don't know, referring to "black male privilege" seems to bash the category of African American men in general, since it alleges that a thing like "reverse racism" exists that protects that particular man from any consequences. That's absurd, since in many states, you could legally buy a gun, show up to the door, and point it at his chest if he refused to step off your property and you reasonably believed he was there to commit a felony. Socially, because he was black, the police might even call it self-defense if you shot. So not only is reverse racism not applicable in general, but it's actually the opposite of applicable in this particular situation.

As for the LGBT centers, you bashed them without their having any applicability to your situation. You're just imagining dying and being memorialized.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by filmmakingally » Mon Oct 31, 8:36 2016

Dayyyammn, garbage, this all sounds so horrible. I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. I don't know if you want my advice, but I think you'd be better off in a city that is known to be more friendly to the LGBT+ community. San Francisco and Seattle come to mind.

Feel free to hit me up if you'd like to talk it out. I have zero expertise in this subject matter, but I'm capable of listening. Stay safe, and keep your own interests a top priority.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by garbage videos » Mon Oct 31, 9:33 2016

Nerd1987 wrote:For what it's worth there is an LGBT center in ferndale Michigan that seems to have very caring people working there. It's called affirmations and they have a website.
Appearances can be deceiving.

Your closet... has an inside lock?
No, but I should install one.

That's absurd, since in many states, you could legally buy a gun, show up to the door, and point it at his chest if he refused to step off your property and you reasonably believed he was there to commit a felony.
Can't buy a gun, I am on probation for a non-violent crime in which I defended my property from a burgular without assaulting anyone.
This is another case of the Patriarchy and it's insistence on rules, regs, books and dogma interfering with my pursuit of happiness and personal safety, health, and well-being, as I cannot sleep calmly at night without a gun knowing I have creepy stalkers out to get me harassing my home. Dogma cannot be reasoned with for it has no respect of good-sense or logic.
Socially, because he was black, the police might even call it self-defense if you shot. So not only is reverse racism not applicable in general, but it's actually the opposite of applicable in this particular situation.
The hierarchy of privilege: White privilege overrules black privilege, black privilege overrules non-cis privilege.
If the blood puddle is outside, CSI won't say it's self-defense. Only until he breaks and enters am I allowed to shoot. And only am I allowed to shoot if he has a weapon. If he starts punching me with his hands and I shoot him, some biased bigot jury may say I overstepped my bounds, since I am not cis.
Feel free to hit me up if you'd like to talk it out. I have zero expertise in this subject matter, but I'm capable of listening. Stay safe, and keep your own interests a top priority.
I shall send you a pm.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by rowan » Mon Oct 31, 10:17 2016

Black male privilege is a thing wrt black women; it's different and manifests differently than white male privilege. At least seems that way from the number of black women I follow on twitter, and though I haven't seen them use that specific terminology I think it's totally a valid way of talking about it.

I'm not really sure I have much advice, since I don't know your location & can't refer to specific places, but maybe if you look around for anti-racism groups in your area you will find the support you need? I know there are a number of queer black women in the groups I know about.
spacefem wrote:All your logical argue are belong to us!

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Sonic# » Mon Oct 31, 10:37 2016

Also, I don't get how you're worried about him knowing your name when he already has your address and phone number. If he has that, obtaining your name is a matter of a few minutes with a search engine or (at most) searching your mail. If any part of this is for real, you lose nothing with a court order.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Nerd1987 » Mon Oct 31, 13:07 2016

it sounds like you are unnerved by the unwanted attention of more than one person. Was it originally one person, the one you spoke of? Also people buy guns for peace of mind every day, but make sure your legal situation in under control before you do that.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Neko » Mon Oct 31, 15:30 2016

garbage videos wrote:Instead of a hot girl I love I get a crazy stalker man who isn't even hot.
Have you tried setting them on fire?
:sun: The future's bright, Lit up with nowhere to go :earth:

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Storage and Disposal » Tue Nov 1, 3:24 2016

Sonic# wrote:Also, I don't get how you're worried about him knowing your name when he already has your address and phone number. If he has that, obtaining your name is a matter of a few minutes with a search engine or (at most) searching your mail. If any part of this is for real, you lose nothing with a court order.
^This. Police. Don't worry about the plaque. Probably not going to happen and you aren't going to care at that point anyway.
"He weeps for he has but one small tongue with which to taste an entire world." - Dr. Mungmung

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by rowan » Tue Nov 1, 10:58 2016

Calling the police is really fraught for certain populations, just sayin'. You can't always do that.
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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Storage and Disposal » Tue Nov 1, 15:02 2016

Sounds odd to discourage police involvement when dealing with a person that's dangerous, especially if the big fear is revealing someone's name when they already have the address, number, etc (how have they not figured it out?). It's not my situation though, so I won't pretend to know what's best.
"He weeps for he has but one small tongue with which to taste an entire world." - Dr. Mungmung

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by Taurwen » Tue Nov 1, 16:51 2016

I'm a huge fan of The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, he does tend to dismiss restraining orders. Having him know your legal name does seem like an odd reason though, if he knows where you live and is already showing up there you might very well be better off starting off a paper trail. That being said, if it makes you uncomfortable then for sure trusting your gut is quite possibly the way to go.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by rowan » Tue Nov 1, 19:25 2016

Storage and Disposal wrote:Sounds odd to discourage police involvement when dealing with a person that's dangerous
I'm not necessarily discouraging involving the police in this situation. It's not my situation either. Calling or not calling the police/getting a restraining order, etc are all something that could be considered.

However there are a number of instances where a black woman calls the police because of X situation and they come to her house and shoot/kill HER. Black and native people - and especially black (and native) women - have a lot to fear from the police, and it's important to understand that "just call the police" isn't always a viable option.
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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by filmmakingally » Wed Nov 2, 0:51 2016

First of all, G-Vid, I want to let you know that the more I learn about you, the more I like you. Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this difficult time right now.

If you don't mind, I'd like to share a personal story that I hope might be helpful. 11 years ago, I was contemplating suicide. And I don't mean that I might occasionally think something along the lines of "gosh, it sure would be easier if I could just end it all". I was making specific plans, then when's the why's and the how's, weighing the pro's and con's of different methods of killing myself. I don't care to share my reasons for contemplating suicide in such a public forum, but suffice it to say that I was living in absolute constant misery. More importantly, though my life is far from perfect now, I've discovered different ways to cope.

My point is that everything in life is temporary, both the good and the bad. I don't say this to you with the intent of telling you to "just cheer up, bucko", or any other bullshit like that, because as long as you're dealing with these incredible life stresses, of course you're going to feel an incredible amount of pain. But what I want to say is that what I see in you, in the limited time we've gotten to know each other online, is that I believe you will recover from this. I have no idea how long it will take for you to get to the place in life you want to be, but I for one believe in you.

Sorry, I have no actual advice -- I have no clue what I'd do if I were in your shoes. Just wanted to send you some words of encouragement in the hopes that it might help. Best wishes.

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Re: Story of my life. (Advice needed.)

Post by garbage videos » Fri Nov 25, 15:49 2016

filmmakingally
Seems like I have read this story before. Getting dejavu from it..

Anyway, the problem is solved, no more stalker.

But now I have loneliness and sexual frustration issues.
On top of that I have back issues, too much computer screen time.

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