Caution. X Rated.

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Skeezy
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Caution. X Rated.

Post by Skeezy » Wed Dec 13, 18:54 2017

I usually see myself as a pretty chill guy. Yesterday I stumbled across an article about internet porn that absolutely pissed me off. I lost which website it was but I cant stop being upset about it so I'd figure I'd vent/share and see other peoples views. She specifically was talking about how internet service providers should filter out porn in general.

Ok the article basically said that internet porn
1. Gives teenage boys the wrong idea about sex
2. Gives men the wrong idea about sex and gives them un-natural demans for bj's anal etc.
3. Is degrading and harmful to all women
4. Rape category porn encourages rape.

Thats about as far as I got. The article was written by a women of course and without her having a male perspective, I can see why she would think majority of this but some of it is bogus.

Ok starting, I agree a 11-13 yr old boy could get the wrong idea. The only thing is I grew up when the internet was much more unfiltered and when it came out I happened to be in that age range. It had 0 effect on how I treated women at the time. I stunbled across all kinds of porn from beastiality to scatting, to forced etc. Some categories are for people who would already gravitate to that kind of thing.To my knowledge it did not have an effect on how my friends treated girls either. It did have an effect on typical guy talk.

I do blame i.p. for my attraction to anal sex. Wasnt there before I started watching it. Do I demand it? No. Am I fine without it? Yes.

I dont know where this womans information on bj's came from, because that movement started well before the internet came. I remember watching comedians on def comedy jam joke, "You dont do that? They still make women like you?"

Degrading women? Maybe to the ones that agreed to do degrading scenes. Other than that this literally has nothing to do with this woman at all.

Rape fantasy and rape porn are two entirely different things. I can say plenty of males have those kinds fantasies but thats just it, Its a fantasy. Something they wouldnt do without beforehand permission. Actual rape porn that tries its best to mimic rape/snuff rape is for likely rapists much like pedoplia is for pedophiles. To even that, I say for every night the rapist is home watching rape porn then women on the street are safe. I do think the category itself should be controlled tastefully with no possible actual real rape videos or ones that seem too real.

Ultimately porn is an outlet for those with high sex drive to control their hormones. I actually believe that if you were to eliminate the outlet the number of rapes would actually rise. Specifically men, actually need sexual outlets, we always have ever since man has walked the earth. Prostitution, strip clubs, internet porn etc is all to vent sexually. You take all those away....

I do agree with her that it can addictive. Although the most abused in that scenario is your own genitalia and possibly social life. Again, thats the individuals problem.

Just an opinion.

I feel better

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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by geldofc » Thu Dec 14, 4:31 2017

this is anecdotal but i know my male friends who seemed pretty into porn as teens had a kind of stuntedness when interacting with women even into their adult years. some of them still do but some have outgrown it by getting into social justice and working around women and femmes in a non-sexual or romantic atmosphere.
a huge amount of (boring) men do think they're entitled to sex acts without reciprocating now. i'd say it has to do with cis straight male socialization which is really awful for men imo. they also socialize over porn and use it in a negative way.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Sonic# » Thu Dec 14, 11:26 2017

The only thing is I grew up when the internet was much more unfiltered and when it came out I happened to be in that age range. It had 0 effect on how I treated women at the time.
That's a difficult claim to make. People are frequently unreliable about describing how their actions are affected by other media. A lot of people deny that the internet and social media influence how people think, but that's precisely how Facebook works: it promotes and pushes content more likely to draw likes and continued engagement out of its users. As early as 2014 a study was published showing that Facebook was able to manipulate people's emotions by pushing content. This editorial only downplays the results by appealing to earlier psychological research that says something similar: emotions are contagious.

Furthermore, media affects how we think. Particularly in the absence of other experience or information, people tend to draw off of the closest examples they have. Without comprehensive sex education, pornography turns into one of the principal sources for people learning about sex. No, conventional porn is not the only source promoting sex being about P-in-holes, but it's one reason why people think the end-all of sex is penetration.

Perhaps you personally didn't do anything wrong because of watching lots of pornography, but it still influenced how you think about sex on a subliminal level. Multiplied over millions of young viewers, I can imagine how such influencing might affect how people think about sex more broadly, what kinds of assumptions they make about gender, and how they approach relationships.

I didn't start seeking out porn until I was 17 or so (before that I relied on fanfics), but it's taken a lot of reflection and subsequent learning to uncover how that affected my early relationships, and I'm sure there are still some effects I haven't noticed. Not all of it was harmful, but I can see some of the assumptions I was making and how several sources (porn, abstinence-only education, conventional heteronormativity in books and film, my social group, the queer narratives I clung to without knowing why) all influenced me.

Do I think ISPs should filter porn? No. But I can't deny that pornography influences individuals subliminally.

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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Skeezy » Thu Dec 14, 14:06 2017

@sonic.

I can agree to some extent.

Although I was watching porn I was still unknowledgable about girls at the time so I still was unsure and nervous about girls and sex. I only did a bit of foreplay, mostly learning turn ons and the female body 1st hand, mostly touching. My girlfriend at the time actually somewhat pressured me into sex as she became upset because I didnt want to the 1st time she asked. Sex contains diseases and pregnancy so even though I wanted sex, I knew it also came with responisibility and consequences. However you are right not all boys thinks about things like that in the moment and porn is bound to effect some more than others in general.

The anal part effects me more than I lead on. Its frustrating because most women I've met arent into it and my only experiences with it were with a girl I caught heavily cheating and decided to let me do it. Since I took my time, read about warming up through pre sessions and did it correctly, she found she actually likes it which still annoys me because that relationship ended very badly due to her cheating. So the few experiences I had with it were not enjoyable due to the animosity I had at the time which ruined not just that but sex with her altogether. Still the fact Im turned on by the idea of it is roughly 75% due to porn and about 25% my natural attraction to the female body in its entirety. I dont need it but it is a want that I have, which is often left wanting. Its not so wanted that I dont enjoy regular sex but I do often pretend in my head which works for the most part.

Also I have to admit that porn, hard and soft, may be partly the cause of my not being attracted to most caucasian women. I am attracted to some but very few. Most of the porn I saw in those early years contained fairer skinned women and the overload may have something to do with the lack of attraction. However watching other ethnicities of porn has not diminished my attraction to those women. It could have been age, its a possibility

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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Nachos » Thu Dec 14, 15:17 2017

I've read articles recently that porn is affecting people's pleasure centres. I know from anecdata that some friend's boyfriends have never managed to ejaculate with their partner. I have a feeling that the two might be linked.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Enigma » Thu Dec 14, 16:04 2017

This is my personal opinion about it.

When I was a teenager I watched it. Do I think that affected my subsequent interactions in the bedroom negatively? Yes. Porn is very penis ejaculation centric and to be honest is super bad at showing good technique for vaginas. It shows a women's job as creating male pleasure. So I focused more on that. (Not to say that I wasn't enjoying myself also, but it wasn't the main goal)

Also now especially whenever I try and watch it I find it really hard to avoid ones which are disrespectful to women. (I'd say almost impossible really) there's choking, slapping, hair pulling, aggressive BJ's, or the women are really girls and that's creepy. It's bad enough for me, a full grown woman to see that shit. I'd hate to imagine 11 year olds encountering it.

That said im not necessarily for a carpet filter. But if you don't think there's a problem I think you should look a like closer.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by geldofc » Thu Dec 14, 19:39 2017

personally i was obsessed with reading ~sextips on livejournal as a teenager. i'm so proud of myself now! lmao. i watched porn sometimes and the "barely legal" category messed with my head as a teen. now i don't understand why they have to put barely legal on women that are in their 20s and 30s. um. i look "barely legal" too then, it's called "drinking water and moisturizing your face in your 20s and 30s." idk. i definitely stay away watching women in pigtails and stuff like that because it gives off paedo vibes.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Aum » Sat Dec 16, 14:32 2017

I watched porn a lot in my younger years. Eventually it got boring once I ended up in real relationships. It's just so repetitive and not a reflection of how real sex operates. Porn is definitely corrupting. I see it all the time in the gay community. It informs body image and sex acts. I've been with guys so many times who seem normal and nice enough but once in bed they switch into porn-script mode and the sex is really bad. They become so subconscious.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Neko » Sat Dec 16, 20:37 2017

Joining the anecdote party: My ex thought that anal didn't require lube because "girls in porn don't need it."

I'm still amazed by that.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Storage and Disposal » Sat Dec 16, 21:52 2017

^oh lord.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Plotthickens » Wed Dec 20, 7:11 2017

Yeah, the guys I dated who thought that women liked facials, giving blowjobs after unprotected anal, pulling out for a "money shot".... there are hundreds if not thousands of these stories online. The problem isn't porn, it's that porn is many people's sex ed. A recent study in England found many young women didn't know sex was supposed to feel good for them, too.

We need better sex ed, and less angry men making misogynistic porn. I bet the two are related.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Skeezy » Wed Dec 20, 13:01 2017

Speaking of the disrespect and misogynistic porn, I agree its growing like wildfire. I dont understand it all. Some of it isnt even sexual. I saw in two seperate scenese the guy pulled out and kicked the girl in the buttock...who is this supposed to turn on other than woman haters? Is that who they are making these for? Im all for getting a little rough but spitting, slapping, trash talking, vomiting, crying....its like what the hell?..

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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Plotthickens » Thu Dec 21, 1:15 2017

Porn made by angry men for angry men has a place, but it should be labeled as its own genre.

"Misogyporn"... not exactly euphonic.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by geldofc » Thu Dec 21, 7:56 2017

Angry man porn really is the worst thing on earth. The guy I purposely gave my virginity to, because the concept of virginity is ridiculous and gross, was into rough blowjob porn and awful at sex.
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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Taurwen » Fri Dec 22, 7:48 2017

I read a lot more porn than I watched. Oddly, all my guy friends were really taken with Literotica.com when I showed it to them. I think erotica is way over looked. Obviously, like porn there's a tonne of shit out there. But it's not really any less accurate than visual porn.

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Re: Caution. X Rated.

Post by Skeezy » Fri Dec 22, 9:39 2017

@Taurwen

I ment to mention. I started with picture sites (due to modems) and sites like Literotica among other websites with user created stories. One reason Im not as into it, is a lot of the user created ones arent descriptive/passionate enough and the majority end up kind of feeling the same. Probably some jewels out there but a lot of sifting required.. Every once in a blue moon I read a few stories but have not found one that I truly liked in a while. One sday I may writenone myself but for now all my writing efforts are going towards a story Ive been slowly working on for quite some time.

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