Wow, poems now?!?! Heres one:

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kric_chic
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Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Jan 27, 13:59 2003
Location: Sunnydale. Welcome to the Holy Land.

Wow, poems now?!?! Heres one:

Post by kric_chic » Thu Jul 10, 22:21 2003

NEVER
I sit
waiting to be set
free...
to be me.
The world may be
hard and
cold and
bright, but
there will
never
be a better
place to be
you.

Well, I need honest feedback please!!
I work at McDonald's...kill me now.

I like...stuff.

Please don't argue with me. You will not win!

Don't blow up the Earth...all my stuff is there!!

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skeptic320
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Location: The People's Republic of Hell

Post by skeptic320 » Fri Jul 11, 0:08 2003

It has potential, but I think it's a bit, I don't know, shallow? It needs more concrete images. I don't feel like I can really get into it before it's over. Try expanding it a little more.
Beyond the suns that guard this roof, beyond your flowers of flaming truths
Beyond your latest ad campaigns
An old man sits collecting stamps, in a room all filled with Chinese lamps
He saves what others throw away, he says that he'll be rich someday.
~Cake

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Jel8605
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Posts: 435
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Location: close to insanity
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It's good...

Post by Jel8605 » Sat Jul 12, 12:16 2003

Reminds me of "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble."
"...everybody knows these things about life and all, but no one lets them get in the way of living. And that's how it should be, 'cause no one wants to the constantly reminded that the world is dull and boring."

www.geocities.com/jelly_factory

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