Another baby stars

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StarsInUrEye
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Another baby stars

Post by StarsInUrEye » Mon Jun 12, 0:06 2017

I haven't had a period in almost a year. I didn't find out I was pregnant till about 17 weeks. That was the estimate by the ultrasound results. I was getting an ultrasound to look for other issues since I had tested and the results were negative even though I must have been pregnant. I couldn't help but to be happy and giddy when the girl said, "you are very pregnant." I wasn't expecting to see a fully developed baby on the screen. I love this baby. But I am having issues and depression. I was already dealing with a break up for three months when I found out I was already almost 5 months along. I'm having a really hard time dealing with the father and how things went down. I think I'd almost rather have the child be from a one night stand. Things like that happen. But the father is my 11 year olds dad. After 13 years of knowing him and all the bad we have gone threw going back and forth its more upsettings to me and embarrassing at this point. At the beginning of last year we were done. I had moved on. Not with a partner or anything but was mentally in an OK place. Then he had an aortic aneurism and had two emergency surgeries. He literally almost died. I stayed with him when his family worked during his recovery and I thought that this near death experience changed things. I know for me it did. And for about 8 months I thought it had for him. We spent all our time together. He brought family season passes to universal studios and he did all his family things with me. Traveled and stayed with his sister for Christmas and new years. And spending tons of time with him and hia mom. But then I felt he was seeing someone else. I asked him. He had never said we were official so I told him I just wanted to know so I knew weither to move on. I wasn't going to make a big deal about cheating or anything. I felt that with the way things had been and we were sleeping together regularly he should tell me. He didn't. And he lied about hanging out with certain friends. Then basically just fought and was mean for three months with me. I'm sure this was all just to not have to tell me the truth and it wouldn't be weird to not invite me anymore on his days off if he was just angry. I cheated on him about 6-7 years ago. I get he probably didn't feel like he owed it to me to tell me anything. But I'm going to be 36 this year. I'm a different person and have been faithful and downright let him be very mean to me because he always threw the cheating thing in my face. And now I completely regret it. I'm pregnant and scared. I thought I was done raising babies. My only child is in her last year of elementary and now I am starting all over again alone. Not to mention I always thought I'd be married or at lest with someone who loved me when I went threw this again. I was never married or even loved the 1st time. My daughter is excited. She had given up on a sibling and she had always wanted one. I'm so happy for her and even though I feel bad now I am looking forward to another. Four years ago I had gone threw feeling a little sad and accepted I wouldn't have any more kids and finally had given away all my baby things. I'm sure I'll snap out of it once the baby is here. With finding out so late and all the changes I haven't really been able to adjust yet. I found out about a month ago and I'm already 21 weeks along. It is all happening so fast. Sorry this is a jumbled mess of a post my my mind and feelings are a jumbled mess as well.

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Re: Another baby stars

Post by melsbells » Tue Jun 13, 15:55 2017

Congratulations for when you're excited about the pregnancy, and good luck for all the time. I was depressed while pregnant and congratulations always rubbed me the wrong way. It's really cool that your daughter's excited, maybe it will turn out to be contagious excitement.

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Re: Another baby stars

Post by rowan » Tue Jun 13, 21:38 2017

*hugs*

I hope you can get the support you need from people around you. It takes time for anyone to adjust to such a huge surprise! And while you don't have (that jerk) of a person, you do have a daughter who loves you. Not that you can lean on another kiddo as much as a responsible adult (but not sure that was the deal anyway given what I remember of him) but 11 can still help out.

Hope you have a good therapist to work through the depression (and trauma from his being mean).

:heart:
spacefem wrote:All your logical argue are belong to us!

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Re: Another baby stars

Post by StarsInUrEye » Thu Jun 15, 0:54 2017

Thanks for the congratulations and encouragement.

I had an appointment with the obgyn today. He seems to think I'm even farther along than he originally thought. I didn't have an ultrasound. He just went by the size of my uterus. It's well over my belly button now. He's sending me to a high risk Dr. Asap and then I'm suppost to see him again on the 29th. By then he said they will have a better idea as to how far along I actually am. So far the pregnancy is going well. I did have complications with my first one and went to a specialist but this time I'm being referred to one because I'm old lol. They automatically send women when they are 35 and older.

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