When do you outsource parenting?

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When do you outsource parenting?

Post by melsbells » Tue Oct 10, 4:38 2017

A few years ago, I read a story about a man who teaches kids to swim.

The comments are no longer there, but at the time, a lot of judgemental responses came in about how people are outsourcing the fun parts of parenting to let someone else teach their kid to swim. Personally, I can think of lots of reasons that I would want someone else to teach my kid how to swim, like how I'm uncomfortable being in water, that I'm not a strong swimmer, and that I really do think my kid would better learn to swim with someone else teaching.

It has gotten me thinking ever since, what aspects of parenting would I outsource and what aspects would I want to keep for myself.

It's not outsourcing, since it's the co-parent, but we make sure that my spouse is in charge of kid in situations that I view as dangerous. My spouse has a better perception of how dangerous that cliff is, I can relax a little, and my kid gets better experiences.

What aspects of parenting to do you outsource or would you given the opportunity? What aspects do you want to fall on you?

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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by Sonic# » Tue Oct 10, 9:02 2017

If having someone else teach kids to swim is outsourcing, isn't sending kids to school a form of outsourced parenting too?

There was an understanding that the school could teach me those things better (on the whole) than my parents. Swimming seems similar. I could technically teach them how to swim, but only as someone else who swims. Can't someone else do a better job? Is doing that really outsourcing parenting, or is it more like recognizing my strengths?

I imagine I'll be a parent who outsources quite a bit to the surrounding community. Swimming lessons, yes. Some kind of sport, yes. School, obviously. The grandparents? If they're available, absolutely. Even regarding ethics, I know I won't be the only influence on my kid. My best wish is to have enough other decent people around that, between us and them, my kid figures it out.

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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by rowan » Tue Oct 10, 17:27 2017

Let's see, we've outsourced gymnastics, piano, swim, parkour, and a wide variety of camps ranging from art to camping to science. So pretty much we outsource a lot of things. We spend a lot of time with her though doing things too? So IDK what those people's problems are. It's good for your kid to do things with other trusted adults.

I saw something the other day where a friend's parent was like "why do you play with them all the time? we never did that with you" and I thought back to my youth and... yeah. And that was fine. again, we did things together, camping etc, and I'm sure they did play with us sometimes... maybe? probably. But this whole idea that you have to Be Involved Every Minute is bullshit, and I think that's where those comments come from.

I would like to outsource my parenting at least one day a month for date night. Y'all need to push for that 'cuz I didn't and it drives me crazy.
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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by geldofc » Thu Oct 12, 2:05 2017

i don't have a child yet (sorry). i'm cheap with money and will outsource to help with time management. i sort of can't stand camping, tbh, and won't mind paying for them to do that with other people. i love swimming and think it would be fun to teach my kids how to swim. i don't know how to play an instrument so if they want to do that i would hire a tutor. i'd love for them to excel at a sport and probably will have to pay for that. i think home-schooling young children is bizarre. i want them to be around lots of different kids their age so that will be outsourced too i guess.
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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by DarkOne » Thu Oct 12, 7:11 2017

I outsource parenting daily from 7:30AM to 1:30 PM, roughly. And this isn't education. It's outright outsourcing. I think they'd frown upon my kids crawling under my desk at work. I also outsource parenting a couple of nights a month, though I' haven't outsourced bathing or tucking into bed yet.

Yeah, I'm not sure how finding the best possible teacher for your kid is "outsourcing parenting". Hell, even if you are a damned good instructor at something, it might still be better that your child be taught by someone else who is also good if the close relationship gets in the way of learning in the way of biases or predispositions.
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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by rowan » Thu Oct 12, 9:40 2017

Eventually they bathe themselves ;)
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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by spacefem » Thu Oct 12, 21:45 2017

I would have cashed out my 401K for some kind of potty training island to send my kids off to so they'd get out of diapers. That was the worst.

Outsource away, I say! It takes a village! I love when my kids get to meet all different kinds of people who are passionate about all different weird things - hey, it shows them that THEY can be into something that the three other people in our house aren't into but that's okay. So many times in life you have to ask somebody for help - start young and you won't be afraid to ask.
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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by melsbells » Fri Oct 13, 5:49 2017

Not in the area we were living, but some hospitals in Finland let parents outsource baby sleep education. Parents drop off their babies at a hospital with the service in the evening and babies learn to sleep on their own. I think sleep deprivation must have been the worst part of parenting.

If it can be avoided, I don't want to outsource a decent amount of basic education, especially stuff like general music and crafts because they're fun and I don't think I'd get frustrated if the kid's not super quick, like I would with maths. Just about anything advanced, I'd prefer more coo I don't want to outsource U.S. history, unless it's far better than what I learned in school, but I wish there was a way for me to outsource English reading and writing before 9 years old. I have no idea how to teach that, just support it.

It would also be really nice if outsourcing to grandparents worked better. The kid definitely has good experiences, but come on, set some boundaries!

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Re: When do you outsource parenting?

Post by rowan » Sat Oct 14, 13:47 2017

yeah I do a ton of supplemental history... :(
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