My Ectopic Pregnancy

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Mordak

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My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Mordak » Sun Jan 21, 6:16 2018

edited for privacy holy shit this got a lot of views. apologies for getting snarky when I did, I'm sorry about that- obviously I was going through some PPD issues when I was replying to melsbells and stuff- sorry melsbells.

everything i had written was true though. it was the worst experience of our lives losing our first pregnancy like that.

i think it would be appropriate for this thread to go now though, please.
Last edited by Mordak on Sun Feb 25, 7:35 2018, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: My Ectopic Pregancy

Post by Nachos » Sun Jan 21, 14:17 2018

Oh darling! *hugs*
I've never been through this myself but I have people in my family who did and it was a traumatic experience all round. I#m sorry your families are not supporting you through this time. :( But you can talk to me if you need to. xxxxx
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Re: My Ectopic Pregancy

Post by Bork » Sun Jan 21, 21:06 2018

That sounds so incredibly traumatic. I am so sorry that happened to you, and to your husband. I'm so mad that the first hospital you went to didn't even triage you. WTF???? That is horrible, you were in such need for immediate medical attention. Also super fucked up about your parents. You need so much love and support right now, plus you did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG.

Lots of love from over here.


Have you tried looking on more pregnancy-specific forums? You might be able to better connect with people who have been through the same thing - although I think there's a lot to say for having such a history and comfort zone here.
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Re: My Ectopic Pregancy

Post by Aum » Mon Jan 22, 1:45 2018

I've always wondered what causes ectopic pregnancy. I know what it is but why do some women get it and others don't?

I'm so sorry for your ordeal... but I'm glad you are alive and made it through. Ectopic pregnancies can kill. Is there any way to have early detection next time? It must be so stressful to know this could happen again!
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Mordak

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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Mordak » Mon Jan 22, 2:58 2018

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Last edited by Mordak on Sun Feb 25, 7:11 2018, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: My Ectopic Pregancy

Post by Taurwen » Mon Jan 22, 8:20 2018

I'm sorry Mordak, I know we haven't interacted much but I am truly sorry. I hope you know (in every molecule of your being) that an ectopic pregnancy is in absolutely no fucking way your fault.
There's nothing you did to cause it, nothing you could have done to prevent it. It was just something that happened. It sucks, and isn't fair, and I'm sorry you dealt with it, but it's not your fault.

I also found out the hard way that there are certain hospitals to avoid because they assume everyone is drug seeking. Not in anything nearly as harrowing, just something very very painful (and once they gave me pain killers and I was high as a kite (a state of mind I am NOT used to) they just... Let me wander out of the ER) again, it's unfortunate but some hospitals just suck.

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Re: My Ectopic Pregancy

Post by Sonic# » Mon Jan 22, 11:59 2018

Fuck ectopic pregnancy. :/

I've read other women's accounts of ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages. A common thread is that many people around these women aren't great at offering support or even taking the loss seriously. Culturally these events aren't as well understood or tread as, say, the death of a child. (I don't think our culture is great at handling death in general, so being even less understood than that is pretty fucked up.) All that is to say that you're not alone, and I'm sorry your sister and mother-in-law haven't been more understanding.

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Re: My Ectopic Pregancy

Post by melsbells » Tue Jan 23, 2:14 2018

I'm sorry Mordak. I'm sorry that you had to go through this and I'm sorry that you weren't given the help you needed when you sought it. I went to a clinic two summers ago, where the nurses suspected and checked for ectopic pregnancy. They even opened up the lab for me to do blood work when it wasn't a lab day. They said that urine tests are less reliable for ectopic pregnancies and lots of typical pregnancy signs like a missed period aren't present. I wasn't pregnant, so I didn't have to go through emergency surgery the next day. Waiting for the call was scary.

I hope the day comes when a kid gets to call you "mum" and your husband "dad".

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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Mordak » Tue Jan 23, 3:04 2018

deleted for privacy
Last edited by Mordak on Sun Feb 25, 7:12 2018, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Sonic# » Tue Jan 23, 5:34 2018

I interpreted Mels as sharing a close call, not giving medical advice?

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Mordak

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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Mordak » Tue Jan 23, 7:47 2018

deleted for privacy
Last edited by Mordak on Sun Feb 25, 7:12 2018, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Sonic# » Tue Jan 23, 9:07 2018

I don't think she was seeking comfort from you. I think she was trying to lend support from her own experience, however ill-met that support was.

Just replied to the second one you sent.

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Mordak

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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by Mordak » Tue Jan 23, 9:37 2018

edited for privacy and being a total twit. sorry guys!
Last edited by Mordak on Sun Feb 25, 7:14 2018, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: My Ectopic Pregnancy

Post by rowan » Tue Jan 23, 14:47 2018

FYI we have a general culture in the pregnancy forum here about sharing similar stories as a way to offer support, and also about giving any medical knowledge that we've come across, since pregnancy is generally not talked about as much as it should be and you find information in random places. Since you haven't been around until now you probably didn't know that, and mels' post is well in line with forum guidelines and norms. Please don't go all mod martyr on us now that you're only just back. This is me as a friend speaking here, not with my modhat on.

I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.

PPD is awful too. :( I hope you can get through it.
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