Dating Online

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Dating Online

Post by lovernotafighter » Sat Sep 7, 20:50 2013

So, I was wondering what people thought of dating online? What do you think of it? Have you had any personal experience? Known anyone who has had good experiences with it? Have a favorite site(s)?
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Re: Dating Online

Post by monk » Sun Sep 8, 2:04 2013

what I've heard is that the free sites are the ones to stay away from. If someone's not willing to pony up a little money so the website/service can vet the clients a little bit than how serious can they be about dating/relationships? There are sites staffed by actual people that will set you up with dates of people who are not just freaks with internet connections. I don't know their names offhand though, I think one of them is called "lets do lunch" or something similar.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by Butterfly North » Sun Sep 8, 2:36 2013

^Couldn't disagree with you more. I'm on okcupid, which is a free site, and it's been really positive. I've been on four dates and the worst one was just a very awkward (but sweet) guy. The best has led somewhere nothing serious but really very fun. If you're not meeting loads of new people it's a great way to do that and also explore your area's pubs/coffee shops/etc.

I think your choice of site could depend on what you're looking for. Perhaps with a paid service you're more likely to find someone who is really determined to find a partner. Or you can pay for subscription to a hookup service. A free service is probably more likely to attract a variety of people.

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Re: Dating Online

Post by Sonic# » Sun Sep 8, 8:48 2013

I've been dating someone for three and a half years who I met online.

I used OKCupid. While I was on there, I probably averaged a date every 10 days, and most of those dates were fairly good, because we were good about talking beforehand and checking out each other's interests. Meanwhile I had worthwhile conversations with people who couldn't meet in person anytime soon, made friends with people I dated but didn't really spark for, and generally had a good time.

There were a few bad experiences. People messaged me outside of my sexual orientation asking to give me sexual favors, for example. I did have a few awkward dates - one where I didn't like Half-Blood Prince and she thought it was the best movie; one where we went on two dates, she borrowed a couple of books, and then never spoke to me again (while changing her relationship status and never returning the books).

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Re: Dating Online

Post by lizpoona » Sun Sep 8, 9:32 2013

Also jumping in to disagree with monk.

I was on okcupid for a short stint (might reactivate my account sometime in the future, but at the moment it's just not what I need), and it was pretty successful as far as meeting compatible, interesting, and attractive people. One guy I ended up going on several dates with, and I had some interesting online conversation with others. If you go at it with an open mind and make sure to engage in conversation, it can definitely work just fine. At first I didn't like the whole thing at all, but it grew on me a little bit.

I did get an overwhelming amount of messages, and only a select few were anything close to being weird or sexually explicit. Those ones I just ignored.

Here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9PiPlRuy6E)* is a TED University video from one of the guys who created okcupid, where he explains the match algorithm that is the main method of finding people on the website. It's really interesting, and from my experience it works fairly decently.


*I can't figure out how to make a hyperlink. I fail at the internet.
Last edited by lizpoona on Sun Sep 8, 13:07 2013, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by Storage and Disposal » Sun Sep 8, 10:33 2013

I've heard a number of bad things on okcupid. Perhaps location matters. As for the site itself, I thought it was pretty dumb. It has you take this survey where nearly all questions are ridiculous.

I met my girlfriend of nearly 6 years on this site.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by monk » Sun Sep 8, 11:02 2013

So maybe okcupid is an exception? those I've talked to used eharmony and yahoo and something fish and had nothing but harassment and horror stories for their time and trouble. maybe It's an age thing? just be careful.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by rowan » Sun Sep 8, 13:32 2013

i know people who have met their now-spouses on okcupid, and also on match.com

evow and that stupid other one that signed my email up randomly are on my shitlist. but unless you're looking for someone muslim i won't look that one up.

typos etc due to cat on arms
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Re: Dating Online

Post by Mathmo » Sun Sep 8, 14:01 2013

A friend of mine met her boyfriend through OKCupid. As far as I know she had a good experience - she met him pretty quickly after starting using the site, they have lots of interests in common, they started skyping and met up (in a public place with a friend of hers knowing where she was etc etc) and have now been together for about 3 months. Which I know isn't a terribly long time but as far as I can tell they're a really good fit and he sounds like a great and understanding guy (e.g. she's on some medication which can give her horrendous mood swings that can make her mean, and warned him about this before they went away for a week to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival together, and forewarned was forearmed and all was OK). In case age is relevant, she's 24 and he's ~26.

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Re: Dating Online

Post by lovernotafighter » Sun Sep 8, 21:39 2013

Hehe. Cat on arms. :) My one cat always sleeps where my legs are, and only my legs, and all I want to do is move them all night. Happen to anyone else? Sorry, off topic.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by Aum » Mon Sep 9, 11:29 2013

The city I live in is anti-social so most people date via the internet. It's common now, and not something that only creeps do.

No bad experiences, just bad dates.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by cwbyrvr » Mon Sep 9, 16:00 2013

I used OKCupid for a bit, deleted my account a month or so ago after having had it simply deactivated for several months before that. It was an okay experience, I met up with a few people from it before I moved, nothing came of those meet ups but I had fun when I went out, at least. Once I moved here I just didn't really see anyone I found that appealing and also just wasn't really in a place where I felt like seeking that sort of thing out actively. Still don't feel like I'm in that place. This is more of a financial/living situation thing than anything else. OKCupid itself seemed fine, but it does seem to be a bit luck of the draw in regards to how good a match the people in your area will be for you.

My partner and I met online (in IRC actually, OKCupid had a slight hand in it because it was when comparing profiles that we were weirded out by how we were both each other's highest matches we'd seen on the site. This lead to us both being intrigued and starting to talk one on one) and we've been going pretty strong at it for over a year and a half now, despite still having not managed to even meet up.

I dated someone online once before my current relationship (met on this site actually) and that didn't pan out so well and I swore off ever doing it again, at least in an LDR sense. But I did it again anyway and I don't regret it so far... hopefully I never will.

My best friend met her husband playing World of Warcraft. Their 1 year anniversary is in just over a month. There can definitely be success to be had.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by Eravial » Tue Sep 10, 7:10 2013

I joined OkCupid a few months ago for friends and stuff, and I managed to have a couple decent conversations online but never actually met anyone IRL. It was a little weird using OkCupid while in a relationship (partner knew and joined OkC too) because I really was just in it for friends, but usually guys would bug off if they were clearly only interested in sex/romance once I told them I wasn't explicitly. I think it would be a good tool for dating for real. I think the only people I know who met on a dating site were my cousin and her husband. I think both of them had never dated before meeting each other, though, and they're in their late thirties.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by Tookie » Wed Sep 11, 0:11 2013

I've only used OkC. I've had one good series of dates that maybe could have led to a Thing if it weren't for unfortunate being-in-the-city-at-the-same-time issues. Generally speaking, I'm pretty bored with it. I find that front-loading a personal interaction with information about that person makes me feel/be super judgmental. Also, I started off as being hidden from straight people, decided to try out being visible to everyone, and it sucked. I just got a lot of shitty messages from dudes.

Basically, I think it's not for me. I'll keep my profile active in case someone wants to message me, but I'd rather pursue things with people I meet in person.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by DOOM » Fri Oct 18, 10:40 2013

lovernotafighter wrote:So, I was wondering what people thought of dating online? What do you think of it? Have you had any personal experience? Known anyone who has had good experiences with it? Have a favorite site(s)?
It's becoming the new in thing, I've dated online both men and women. Men are much more receptive to meeting and pursing relationships. Females are far more picky so if your looking for female love online, you have to be above and beyond the caliber of good. If your a 3/10 normally, you can easily get with women in RL. if your a 7/10 you will have trouble online. Best sight for getting females is OKcupid. Best sight for getting males is Adam4Adam or grindr for cellphones. Since I no longer date or romance humans I can't tell you if they are Still good but my friends seems to have enough luck with it.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by lovernotafighter » Fri Oct 18, 22:08 2013

I'm a woman who dates men. And unfortunately for women, if you are big and beautiful like me, typical sites don't seem to work so well. Men seem like they are always looking for perfection, and a 10+ body to go with it. Plus, everyone I meet wants to have kids, and I don't. But OKCupid seems ok for now, and I've found another site, too. So, I'll let ya'll know how it goes. :P
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Re: Dating Online

Post by rowan » Mon Oct 21, 10:21 2013

lovernotafighter wrote:Plus, everyone I meet wants to have kids, and I don't.
I have two other friends who find that's an issue as well.
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Re: Dating Online

Post by metawidget » Mon Oct 21, 17:55 2013

OKCupid has been pretty good to me — I met my wife in part through there (I'd sort of met her IRL, but wooed her on OKC) and started a pretty awesome (albeit done) dating relationship on there, along with going on a couple of dates-that-didn't-beget-relationships and having a few more interesting message exchanges.

The amount of choice on there can be bewildering, as can the ratio of not-right to right, even at high match percentages, but technology and math can only do so much and I'm not everyone's cup of tea either :)
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