Moderator: melsbells

Post Reply
User avatar

Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 8, 22:58 2017
Location: Los Angeles


Post by sufiMYSTIC » Fri Aug 11, 21:22 2017

Well, I see a lot of locked posts. But I'll say as an old member, and a new member, it feels good to start a post. Especially about this topic.
See, I'm a late bloomer in life. And, about less than a year ago, at 35 my clock started ticking LOUDLY, coincidentally at the same time as my wife's, even though she's much younger. Surprise! :) And, now, that I've finally decided on some careers, and my partner who is significantly younger has finally decided to go to school for their career, it seems as if planning even to get preggo will get pushed back.
It's soooo hard for me. I didn't want a child for a long time. And now I feel ready. And I have to wait. I'm very healthy too. And, as a late bloomer, I had a very late period, which means late menopause. I think it's another patience thing again. (always a reference to the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta)
But really, patience.
It's just. I'm 35. And I want to birth our child, so badly. My clock started a while ago, but now it seems like almost perfect timing. But with starting/re-starting my physically-oriented career, and building new finances, it seems like we'll be waiting.
My partner also wants to birth a child.
But I don't want to miss my opportunity, and I think that that is VERY FAIR to say. If you want a child this badly you should get one. Like a present. :)
And, please no badly negative remarks if possible. I'm quite sensitive. It helps. I know everyone is themselves and that is what makes topics special though. I'm familiar with 12-steps, so I try to take what I want and leave the rest. Just mentioning that I am uber-sensitive as a person. And this topic is extremely sensitive to me. I mean, it's a baby! A kid, a kiddo, a kiddorooni.
Should I freeze my eggs? Isn't that a lot of money? I'm just seeking assurance as currently I don't have any friends my age. :P :)
My wife tells me she KNOWS that I will be fine. I think it's just an expectation thing, long will school last, and getting a house, good insurance for TTC and donor, my career going, and finances in place.
I know not everything is perfect, and people technically have children all the time when things aren't perfect in their lives. :) But for my life's purpose I think it's important to wait.
I just hope I'll still have the loud clock when I'm ready. :)
“People say that the soul, on hearing the song of creation, entered the body, but in reality the soul itself was the song.”
Hafiz (1320-1390)

:snow: :spacefem: :snow:

User avatar
Posts: 9567
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 11:01 2004
Location: US

Re: Clock-Ticking

Post by rowan » Sat Aug 12, 16:31 2017

Timing is always a weird thing and so personal. But I bet it'll still be ticking by then. One thing I will say is that a lot of people have children that late so you're not alone at all! I have a friend who froze eggs, from my hazy memory I think she said it is actually not that bad money wise? I could ask if you want me to. Good luck with it all, I'm sure it will be fine.
spacefem wrote:All your logical argue are belong to us!

User avatar
Posts: 5159
Joined: Sat Nov 7, 9:37 2009
Location: Georgia, US

Re: Clock-Ticking

Post by Sonic# » Sun Aug 13, 9:19 2017

sufiMYSTIC wrote: It's just. I'm 35. And I want to birth our child, so badly. My clock started a while ago, but now it seems like almost perfect timing. But with starting/re-starting my physically-oriented career, and building new finances, it seems like we'll be waiting.
I'm 31, my wife is 30, and we both are trying to have a kid. We put it off through two big periods of uncertainty - her graduation and starting a new job, and my graduation and starting a new job. Two years later, I know I'll need to find a job in the next year, but it doesn't feel right to keep on delaying. We could probably find reasons to delay indefinitely; at least now we have some savings and prospects.

There is no good time, it feels like. There's just a time when you can decide that things are settled down enough. I don't know when that'll be for you, but I wish you the best.

Posts: 200
Joined: Sat Jul 2, 9:33 2016

Re: Clock-Ticking

Post by Taurwen » Sun Aug 13, 11:21 2017

If I remember correctly, all that stuff about fertility dropping dramatically at 35 is based on old and flawed data, so don't let the idea of TTC being so much harder let you scare you too much (obviously fertility drops, but it's not that bad). There are other considerations as you get older (at 29 I need more sleep than I did at 25) but nothing that really prevents you.

Timing will never be perfect, but it can be optimal.

User avatar
Posts: 395
Joined: Thu May 16, 15:55 2013
Location: Planet weirdo.

Re: Clock-Ticking

Post by lovernotafighter » Fri Aug 18, 20:18 2017

Thank you everyone. :) Any info about egg-freezing is appreciated. Although, my wife can always donate hers too. Good luck, Sonic. :) Many prayers for you both! :)(sufiMYSTIC) *I'm back to my original profile, lovernotafighter.*
"An individuals value is greater than their capacity to contribute to society." -Monk
Love yourself, and the rest will come. :sun:

Post Reply