posting pictures of kids and privacy

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melsbells
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posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by melsbells » Mon Apr 9, 13:16 2018

It's been well over a year since I read it, but I'm still thinking about this old NPR article on regard for children's privacy when posting pictures online.
Basically parents claimed that they weren't overstepping boundaries with what they posted on-line, but their kids felt differently and that some standards should exist for their parents to take heed.

Here's an old but relevant post by a blogger with a large online presence who then made a point to keep her child out of that presence.
I want to share these things with you, but I also need to respect that while I've made decisions in the past about sharing my life online, my son has not made those decisions. If he wants to be an extrovert like his big-mouth mama, he can make that choice for himself someday. I don't want to force the decision on him by sharing his stories online before he's even figured out how to hold up his head.
Personally, I don't have much of an online presence. Photos I share of my kid are via email or in print, and I always ask the kid before sharing them. A couple of those pictures have ended up in public spaces of the people I share those pictures with, and I've talked to them about taking them down when I found out. On spacefem, I think anonymity gives me looser reigns with what I'm willing to share; it's highly unlikely that the kid will get traced back down the line.

So, how much or what kinds of things do you share about your kid(s)? What guidelines/boundaries do you employ? How do you balance the support you need as a parent and respecting the privacy of your kid(s)?

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Re: posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by Taurwen » Mon Apr 9, 14:59 2018

We use 23 snaps to share pictures of our kid with family but we've made a point of not sharing any pictures in public.
I want my kid to be able to decide for himself what he puts on the big wide Web and a think erring on the side of caution is a good thing to model him in this regard.

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Sonic#
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Re: posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by Sonic# » Mon Apr 9, 15:02 2018

On the one hand, sharing information online is different because online materials always have a potentially public audience, one that goes well beyond circles of friends. How many parents have shared something only to have it become a meme that explodes wildly out of context? On the other hand, in most cases materials posted online are rather like mentioning to a friend what a kid is going through presently, or the kinds of things I remember my mom sharing when I was a little kid. There was probably some not-okay sharing going on pre-internet. Some things are embarrassing even when shared in person, and I probably wouldn't have wanted my mom to share those. Should my word there have been followed?

I like the idea of asking kids if it's okay to share an image or experience about them. It seems like a kind of education in privacy to be given a choice about what information other people share about you. That said, I'm really not sure about, say, sharing pictures of my baby online. Yeah, I'll probably be showing friends and acquaintances photos of my baby if they seem remotely interested. Is there an acceptable amount of sharing? (Just a little...?) Acceptable kinds of sharing? (Nothing about poop?) Am I responsible if I keep something friends-only but a friend redistributes the image in another format without my permission? I'm still figuring that out. I don't have an online strategy yet.

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Re: posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by rowan » Mon Apr 9, 17:06 2018

Sometimes I share on FB but I always have the permissions locked down so that only friends can see it. Now that she's older I don't share unless she says it's ok. My friends wouldn't reshare something not public and my family, uh... I don't think they'd know how? Like they'd have to save the image and re-upload it. My mom can't even figure out how to make her own posts public when she wants to even after we showed her.
spacefem wrote:All your logical argue are belong to us!

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Re: posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by DarkOne » Wed Apr 11, 5:23 2018

I've never asked for permission to post (they are preschoolers), but lately I often let them know I am taking their picture and the few times they've asked me not to take their picture, I have obliged. Once they let me take their picture, I don't usually ask if I can send this to grandma. To me this seems like a more realistic model of how stuff will work in real life, i.e. once you allow content to be out, you lose control over it.

I also very rarely post their pictures online, maybe once or twice a year, like Halloween and maybe some other cute posed picture? On the rare occasion neighbors and friends take pics and my kids are in, their tags don't show up in my timeline. And my FB profile is also super restricted (half of my Friends are tagged as Acquaintances, and most of my posts' privacy is set to "Friends but not Acquaintances"). And on top of that, I frequently go back and purge last year's photos from my account. Not sure why, I'm just anti-social, I guess. I more freely share pictures with friends and family via WhatsApp and email and print with close relatives, but I don't count that as "posting online."

Honestly, at this stage, my keeping my kids off the web has less to do with wanting to give them privacy and decision power over their image, and more to do with data security and child safety, bordering on paranoia. So while the resulting scant online presence of my children may be a good thing, it's mostly incidental. I'm just paranoid.
"Winston Churchill once said 'The eyes are the windows of your face.' " -A man who's very scared of plants.

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Re: posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by geldofc » Wed Apr 11, 23:04 2018

I'll share pictures on social media when they're babies. When they're old enough to speak I'll start asking them if it's ok to take their picture. Idk if that sounds ridiculous. I don't think it would be fair of me to force them to be ok with their pictures being taken or shared, that's not fun. I'll be lax about it when they're young but I know kids can become really self-conscious around preteen age. I definitely don't want to make them feel insecure or uncomfortable at any time and especially that age.
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Re: posting pictures of kids and privacy

Post by juliabonl17 » Wed Apr 25, 1:29 2018

Usually, we don't share photos of our children in social media. Sometimes I can send some photos to close friends. I keep my personal life in quiet. Share with family only.

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