I wanted to make this simple data table after many visitors posed this question: We know that many women are induced for to avoid going postdate, doesn't this bias our data? After all, most of the graphs I have just throw out inductions and show data based on only spontaneous labor. But what if ALL those women who were induced were actually supposed to go late, how long would the real average pregnancy last? Most of the people asking this question believe in their hearts that the average baby wants to arrive closer to 41 weeks or later, and the medical field is in denial and wants to induce us for convenience. I do not believe this, but wanted a quick way to explain myself, so here's this page.
The problem with the "we're all meant to go 41 weeks" theory is that so many women spontaneously go into labor in the days leading up to 40 W, there aren't enough inductions (even in our induction-happy world) being done to offset the average. Here are the median days for the spontaneous labors (11276 total), and the shifted median if every induction (3482 total) was actually supposed to be a very late birth:
| Day | Spontaneous births on this day | Spontaneous births on or before this day | Spontaneous births after this day | Spontaneous births after this day plus all inductions |
Notes? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Before 39 W | 2663 | 8613 | 12095 | ||
| 39W,0D | 347 | 3010 | 8266 | 11748 | |
| 39W,1D | 314 | 3324 | 7952 | 11434 | |
| 39W,2D | 328 | 3652 | 7624 | 11106 | |
| 39W,3D | 418 | 4070 | 7206 | 10688 | |
| 39W,4D | 436 | 4506 | 6770 | 10252 | |
| 39W,5D | 437 | 4943 | 6333 | 9815 | |
| 39W,6D | 501 | 5444 | 5832 | 9314 | |
| 40W,0D | 955 | 6399 | 4877 | 8359 | Median for spontaneous births in the survey (more babies were born on or before this day than are born after) |
| 40W,1D | 567 | 6966 | 4310 | 7792 | |
| 40W,2D | 495 | 7461 | 3815 | 7297 | Median if all inductions are added to the "later birth" total (more babies were spontaneously born on or before this day than all the ones born after, or induced) |
| 40W,3D | 458 | 7919 | 3357 | 6839 | |
| 40W,4D | 423 | 8342 | 2934 | 6416 | |
| 40W,5D | 460 | 8802 | 2474 | 5956 | |
| 40W,6D | 455 | 9257 | 2019 | 5501 | |
| 41W,0D | 448 | 9705 | 1571 | 5053 | |
| 41W,1D | 351 | 10056 | 1220 | 4702 | |
| 41W,2D | 274 | 10330 | 946 | 4428 | |
| 41W,3D | 268 | 10598 | 678 | 4160 | |
| 41W,4D | 188 | 10786 | 490 | 3972 | |
| 41W,5D | 140 | 10926 | 350 | 3832 | |
| 41W,6D | 120 | 11046 | 230 | 3712 | |
| 42W,0D | 88 | 11134 | 142 | 3624 |
So basically, if all the induced women who took my survey had been left to stay pregnant until the very end (past 42 weeks), then the median day for birth would shift by 2 days. Not an entire week.
My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.
I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.
PPD is awful too.
You can continue discussing with him the difference of a boy and a girl. Have him socialize too with the same gender. There's nothing wrong if you have go with opposite sex as long as he understands what/who he is.
So do you feel hanging out with the opposite gender at a young age can confuse a person's gender identity?
If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.
What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.
Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.
This is just my anecdotal experience but...
I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.
I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.
Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.
It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.
I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).
I found this article (
The lit review at the beginning of the article adds some specificity here. What seems hard on kids is not single parenthood itself; it's often the divorce that results in a single parent being involved.
Then there are people who become single parents, but not by choice. That's also rough, often because these parents lack the financial stability and stability to do well. So the article is really looking at single parents by choice
I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.
egg freezing seems like a good option esp if you have extra time and money.