I wanted to make this simple data table after many visitors posed this question: We know that many women are induced for to avoid going postdate, doesn't this bias our data? After all, most of the graphs I have just throw out inductions and show data based on only spontaneous labor. But what if ALL those women who were induced were actually supposed to go late, how long would the real average pregnancy last? Most of the people asking this question believe in their hearts that the average baby wants to arrive closer to 41 weeks or later, and the medical field is in denial and wants to induce us for convenience. I do not believe this, but wanted a quick way to explain myself, so here's this page.
The problem with the "we're all meant to go 41 weeks" theory is that so many women spontaneously go into labor in the days leading up to 40 W, there aren't enough inductions (even in our induction-happy world) being done to offset the average. Here are the median days for the spontaneous labors (9918 total), and the shifted median if every induction (3083 total) was actually supposed to be a very late birth:
| Day | Spontaneous births on this day | Spontaneous births on or before this day | Spontaneous births after this day | Spontaneous births after this day plus all inductions |
Notes? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Before 39 W | 2334 | 7584 | 10667 | ||
| 39W,0D | 307 | 2641 | 7277 | 10360 | |
| 39W,1D | 277 | 2918 | 7000 | 10083 | |
| 39W,2D | 287 | 3205 | 6713 | 9796 | |
| 39W,3D | 368 | 3573 | 6345 | 9428 | |
| 39W,4D | 394 | 3967 | 5951 | 9034 | |
| 39W,5D | 386 | 4353 | 5565 | 8648 | |
| 39W,6D | 446 | 4799 | 5119 | 8202 | |
| 40W,0D | 852 | 5651 | 4267 | 7350 | Median for spontaneous births in the survey (more babies were born on or before this day than are born after) |
| 40W,1D | 503 | 6154 | 3764 | 6847 | |
| 40W,2D | 429 | 6583 | 3335 | 6418 | Median if all inductions are added to the "later birth" total (more babies were spontaneously born on or before this day than all the ones born after, or induced) |
| 40W,3D | 406 | 6989 | 2929 | 6012 | |
| 40W,4D | 379 | 7368 | 2550 | 5633 | |
| 40W,5D | 388 | 7756 | 2162 | 5245 | |
| 40W,6D | 399 | 8155 | 1763 | 4846 | |
| 41W,0D | 392 | 8547 | 1371 | 4454 | |
| 41W,1D | 302 | 8849 | 1069 | 4152 | |
| 41W,2D | 235 | 9084 | 834 | 3917 | |
| 41W,3D | 230 | 9314 | 604 | 3687 | |
| 41W,4D | 164 | 9478 | 440 | 3523 | |
| 41W,5D | 124 | 9602 | 316 | 3399 | |
| 41W,6D | 107 | 9709 | 209 | 3292 | |
| 42W,0D | 77 | 9786 | 132 | 3215 |
So basically, if all the induced women who took my survey had been left to stay pregnant until the very end (past 42 weeks), then the median day for birth would shift by 2 days. Not an entire week.
Timing will never be perfect, but it can be optimal.
- kid would like a sibling
- maybe people are right about end of life stuff
That's about it. I hated being pregnant, the last time I was pregnant the hormones were... really awful. Plus kid is now pretty big so another one would be weird and we gave away all our stuff.
I can still highly recommend this book: (
Also, keep speaking English! Toddlers forget fast when a language is no longer present.
Yay bilingualism!
Things you don't need:
Anything soft, fluffy or furry. My baby couldn't care less about minky blankets and soft toys. Plus they seem more gross to clean when they get covered in bodily fluids.
Clothes that look like adult clothes. It's so difficult to squeeze baby thighs into miniature corduroys or denim jeans which have no give to the fabric.
Baby washcloths. Babies make a disproportionate amount of mess so you need adult size washcloths to clean them up.
Things that were super useful:
A folding changing mat. I have a SkipHop one which has enough storage for wipes and diapers, which was all I needed to carry with me when I had a newborn. Now that he's bigger, I appreciate the larger size of the mat because the one that came with my diaper bag is way too small.
Balls. They were the first thing he played with and still his favourite toys. At the beginning he liked one made by Oball which was easy to pick up, and a soft fabric one which made a crinkly noise. Now he loves throwing a soft rubber ball and watching it bounce.
Somehow MIL has still given us a ton of pink clothing that she'll change him into everytime she comes over.
I hate pink.
I had an appointment with the obgyn today. He seems to think I'm even farther along than he originally thought. I didn't have an ultrasound. He just went by the size of my uterus. It's well over my belly button now. He's sending me to a high risk Dr. Asap and then I'm suppost to see him again on the 29th. By then he said they will have a better idea as to how far along I actually am. So far the pregnancy is going well. I did have complications with my first one and went to a specialist but this time I'm being referred to one because I'm old lol. They automatically send women when they are 35 and older.
Not having read your post, but just the heading, my response was "wine." But after reading your post, I thought "wine."
Yes. After bedtime.
Also, honestly the only way we made it through was we would take turns being the center of focus. We still do this, divide and conquer (and she's only one kid, hell). Also, I know people are like really limit screen time BUT if you really need to get something done one episode of e.g. Daniel Tiger or Paw Patrol or whatever isn't gonna be too bad. I think DarkOne has some good ideas too.
Good luck.
Also I know you can do wills and stuff on your own but honestly I found it super useful to talk through it with a lawyer who does that. She thought of things we never would have. (hm really should revisit now that kid is older) It was a one time fee and not that bad.
We do most of our banking through a credit union. Have been happy with them. We refinanced our mortgage through them when we did that. I remember the big credit union bust ages ago, but there are lots more protections in place now and big banks can be pretty awful.
Today for the first time my 11month old showed interest in a stuffed animal. Just before Christmas we received a box from Amazon with a giant bear inside. No gift wrap, no note. Just a bear the size of my child. It's been sat in his room and ignored completely, despite him exploring literally everything else that is in there. Then, out of the blue, he made a beeline for it and tried to pull its eyes out.
But if generally tactile surfaces also apply, mermaid sequin pillows are comforting. It was one of my impulse buys at a department store about a month ago. I couldn't stop petting the display. The sequined side seemed like it wouldn't be comfortable to rest on but it hasn't been an issue. My stepdad really likes them so I got him one for giftmas and he said it helps distract him when chronic pain keeps him awake at night.
I haven't field tested them on my nieces and nephews yet. That could be fun.