Spacefem's Weekly Wikipedia Pregnancy Blog: 12 weeks pregnant

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This week's articles

Month Week Day Article
2 12W,0D 84Pregnant patients' rights
2 12W,1D 85Umbilical cord
2 12W,2D 86Silent birth
2 12W,3D 87The Business of Being Born
2 12W,4D 88Immune system
2 12W,5D 89A Child Is Born (book)
2 12W,6D 90Pregnancy discrimination

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Seriously I can't do anything right... I was supposed to be sick for the first few months but NEVER was, I figured "yay I'm a not-sick pregnant woman!" Then suddenly when I hit 12 weeks I started getting occasional waves of nausea. Not often, every five days or so, and usually if I'd been bad about eating & let my stomach get empty. Then "every 5 days" turned to "every 3 days" and so on... now I'm at 16W4D and it's happening more than once a day.

I'm usually up moving around doing something, and suddenly I HAVE to sit down, get a drink of water, breath deep because it hits me like bricks. I start coughing and my mouth waters and jaw tenses up and I think I'm gonna yak, but I usually don't. Oh until today in the car, we were rolling along the highway and it hit me and there was no water to drink and the road was bouncy and no deep breathing helped. Good thing I was in the passenger seat because I just lost it. I felt terrible, and now some poor highway worker is going to find a lot of vomit on the side of the road... husband had to pull over, partially because he thought it was a good idea and partially because he was gonna throw up too just listening to me. sorry if that was totally gross. Anyway after that I felt pretty good, we still went to the health club to work out as intended.

I have The Business of Being Born on this list. There are things I like about it and things I don't really like, but overall I'd recommend it. The film does a good job describing the "cascade of intervention" concept, a domino effect where doctors are just doing too much and that's why mothers end up with c-sections. I was disappointed with the very "black and white" world protrayed in the film though... they make it look like you can either give birth at home with your midwife, surrounded by candles and music and happiness, or you can go to a hospital where they strap you down and cut you open. Well I had a natural birth in a hospital, so obviously it's possible. The support staff was great, I didn't have to "defend" myself, I just told them that's what I wanted and the nurses gave me tips and cheered me on and everything was just fine. I think homebirth is a great idea, but you shouldn't do it because you're afraid the hospital will kill you. Anyway watch the documentary and decide for yourself, it won't totally scare the crap out of you. (For what it's worth there's another documentary I watched, "Pregnant in America", WILL scare the crap out of you... definitely unfairly portrayed MY hospital even. I hate it. So there ya go.)

If you want a the other side of the natural/homebirth debate, after you're done watching documentaries you can read through - popularly known as the blog of Dr. Amy, anti-homebirth advocate. She argues that homebirth is not safe, and presents some disturbing stories, so you have been warned, many posts deal with loss. Now, I've had plenty of friends try for a homebirth, and their midwives had good guidelines for whether they were low-risk candidates... no VBACS, no multiples, no heart problems (for mom or baby) or high blood pressure or postdates or... or... or. The real common thread in Dr. Amy's post about homebirths that go wrong seems to be midwives who do not have these guidelines, or totally ignore them, convinced that if they just trust birth everything will be okay. I for one do not trust birth: 100 years ago, only about 9 out of 10 babies survived their first day on earth. That's not a great record. I think medical technology can do better, but I'm an engineer/scientist so of course I'm bound to be biased.

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Recent Comments

For more support, encouragement, Q&A, you are invited to join our pregnancy forum. We are dedicated to answering complicated questions as logically as we possibly can.

Fundraising for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Wed Aug 14 5:27 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

Great job making your goal and helping out your teammate reach hers.

kids' mail subscriptions

Wed Jan 9 6:41 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

We got the first box last week. Kid wanted to do the whole thing in one sitting, which was tough. He has a hard time stopping something, even when it's obvious he needs a break. He doesn't have the best conception of time yet either and kept talking about the box that would come tomorrow. So getting something once a month might help pin down the passage of time. As far as my concerns, we had a great opportunity (when he was disappointed that the Europe page didn't say anything about Finland) to talk about how a single page on a whole continent or even an individual country can't tell us what a place and culture is like. Bavaria was mentioned, so we also got to talk about how our German friend feels when people only think of Bavarian things when thinking of Germany, which she doesn't feel a connection to.

housemates + newborn = ?

Thu Aug 2 11:57 AM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

I live with my in-laws, and while there will certainly be a lot of differences from your situation, maybe there's enough similarities that my experience could be useful to you. I think the biggest thing is that everyone has their own space. Our house is sort of divided in two, so we can take the kid to our end during a tantrum. I think that distance helps, not just with in-laws not wanting to hear screaming, but as a sort of physical signal for the kid to calm down. We lived in an apartment when the kid was first born and our neighbors there probably heard more screaming/crying due to proximity.

My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.

My Ectopic Pregnancy

Tue Jan 23 8:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

FYI we have a general culture in the pregnancy forum here about sharing similar stories as a way to offer support, and also about giving any medical knowledge that we've come across, since pregnancy is generally not talked about as much as it should be and you find information in random places. Since you haven't been around until now you probably didn't know that, and mels' post is well in line with forum guidelines and norms. Please don't go all mod martyr on us now that you're only just back. This is me as a friend speaking here, not with my modhat on.

I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.

PPD is awful too. :( I hope you can get through it.

When do you outsource parenting?

Sat Oct 14 7:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

yeah I do a ton of supplemental history... :(

learning to read

Wed May 22 8:34 PM by Nachos in Pregnancy & Parenting

Late to the party, sorry.

When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity :)

How important is school?

Thu Nov 22 9:05 PM by Skeezy in Pregnancy & Parenting

I think the most important factor in any school is how much the teachers care about the students. Another important element is safety and how interactions between students can substract from learning. Many parents go to jail for quite lengthy sentences for trying to send to their kids to a safe good school.

I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.

Unplanned, polyamorous pregnancy situation

Sun Apr 29 12:18 PM by metawidget in Pregnancy & Parenting

I'm glad you have been communicating and working things out. I wish you lots of health and love as you wrote the next chapter of this story.

I might be pregnant...

Fri Jan 5 3:16 AM by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting

Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.

It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.

I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).

on being semi-pregnant

Tue Oct 3 7:18 PM by geldofc in Pregnancy & Parenting

congratulations!! i've never been pregnant but i'm jealous. i'm having baby fever lately.

Sleep for babies after 6 months

Thu Jan 10 1:30 AM by Sonic# in Pregnancy & Parenting

Thank you for the stories. I try not to get caught up in comparisons, but it's so hard when someone else is like, "Oh yeah, they're sleeping through the night after six months, no problem!" and we're nudging each other when it's our turn to get up at night almost every night. Did I do something wrong? (The answer is probably no, but a lack of sleep makes it harder to get there mentally.)

I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it. :)

How the 2nd pregnancy / labor was different from the first

Thu Sep 27 8:20 PM by antfancier in Pregnancy & Parenting

I haven’t been around for a long time, but I’m back and pregnant again. Only 6 weeks, so I can’t really comment much, but this time around it has been easier so far. Not easy, but considering I’m working and have a 2.5yr old (neither of which applied to last pregnancy), I thought I’d feel much worse. I still have ALL the symptoms and they all started at 3 weeks, just like last time (and the same as a chemical pregnancy I had too) but they don’t seem to be as constant as before. I’m really glad about that! The only thing that’s worse is back ache, ligament pain, general body aches. I assume it’s because my body is already exhausted and broken from my toddler.

posting pictures of kids and privacy

Wed Apr 25 7:29 AM by juliabonl17 in Pregnancy & Parenting

Usually, we don't share photos of our children in social media. Sometimes I can send some photos to close friends. I keep my personal life in quiet. Share with family only.

I had my 2nd baby!!!!

Wed Jan 3 8:21 PM by MFS in Pregnancy & Parenting


I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.

leftist parenting and gender [split from gender recognition]

Sat Sep 23 11:52 AM by Unvoiced_Apollo in Pregnancy & Parenting

gender recognition.">

If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.

What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.

Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.

This is just my anecdotal experience but...

I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.