Spacefem's Weekly Wikipedia Pregnancy Blog: 18 weeks pregnant

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This week's articles

Month Week Day Article
4 18W,0D 126Midwifery in Maya society
4 18W,1D 127Mom at Sixteen
4 18W,2D 128Naegele's rule
4 18W,3D 129Lethal Weapon 4
4 18W,4D 130Neonatal heel prick
4 18W,5D 131Vitamin K
4 18W,6D 132Birthmark

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So my aunts had this silly pencil test and told me I was having a boy. I felt like I was having a boy, I live in a world surrounded by men, I had boy dreams, my mom had boy dreams. And then what happened? The ultrasound tech thinks it's a girl. And when I say "think", I mean "she was pretty sure". Even made us a printed photo of a crotch-looking shot with text saying "IT'S A GIRL!"

I was in shock! I mean seriously, I'd really gotten in a mental state that we were going to see some boy parts, and when she told us and I asked if she was SURE I felt really bad for even making a big deal about it, or thinking about it period. Why did I ever want a girl, or a boy? What do I think I'm getting with either one?

I've never been a fan of community posts referring to "team blue!" or "team pink!". Is there a law that because a baby is coming equipped with a vagina, she's going to love pink? What do we think these organs are telling us about the people we're making? And just to be clear... sex and gender are different. At any time our little ones might not be so interested in equating his/her sex with a pre-determined society-accepted role.

The only real reason I'm glad we learned our baby was a girl is that referring to her as "she" has been more comforting and personal then "it". That's a defect of the english language.

But the rest of the ultrasound was lovely and fun, the pictures on a video screen turn out much better than still images, you can really make things out better. Our baby has all the parts I'd hoped for... legs, arms, toes, a brain, ears, eyes, stomach, heart with four chambers (so it's not an amphibian!). Her mouth was moving a lot, like she was chewing... or (I'm afraid) practicing to do a lot of mouth-running later in life. I thought she looked kinda leggy. The tech said she was measuring a little big... about what a 20W fetus would, but I'm only at 19W, she said that wasn't a huge deal but the baby probably won't be born small. I figured as much.

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Recent Comments

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learning to read

Wed May 22 8:34 PM by Nachos in Pregnancy & Parenting

Late to the party, sorry.



When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity :)


How important is school?

Thu Nov 22 9:05 PM by Skeezy in Pregnancy & Parenting

I think the most important factor in any school is how much the teachers care about the students. Another important element is safety and how interactions between students can substract from learning. Many parents go to jail for quite lengthy sentences for trying to send to their kids to a safe good school.



I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.


Unplanned, polyamorous pregnancy situation

Sun Apr 29 12:18 PM by metawidget in Pregnancy & Parenting

I'm glad you have been communicating and working things out. I wish you lots of health and love as you wrote the next chapter of this story.


I might be pregnant...

Fri Jan 5 3:16 AM by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting


Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.

It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.


I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).


When do you outsource parenting?

Sat Oct 14 7:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

yeah I do a ton of supplemental history... :(


Sleep for babies after 6 months

Thu Jan 10 1:30 AM by Sonic# in Pregnancy & Parenting

Thank you for the stories. I try not to get caught up in comparisons, but it's so hard when someone else is like, "Oh yeah, they're sleeping through the night after six months, no problem!" and we're nudging each other when it's our turn to get up at night almost every night. Did I do something wrong? (The answer is probably no, but a lack of sleep makes it harder to get there mentally.)



I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it. :)


How the 2nd pregnancy / labor was different from the first

Thu Sep 27 8:20 PM by antfancier in Pregnancy & Parenting

I haven’t been around for a long time, but I’m back and pregnant again. Only 6 weeks, so I can’t really comment much, but this time around it has been easier so far. Not easy, but considering I’m working and have a 2.5yr old (neither of which applied to last pregnancy), I thought I’d feel much worse. I still have ALL the symptoms and they all started at 3 weeks, just like last time (and the same as a chemical pregnancy I had too) but they don’t seem to be as constant as before. I’m really glad about that! The only thing that’s worse is back ache, ligament pain, general body aches. I assume it’s because my body is already exhausted and broken from my toddler.


posting pictures of kids and privacy

Wed Apr 25 7:29 AM by juliabonl17 in Pregnancy & Parenting

Usually, we don't share photos of our children in social media. Sometimes I can send some photos to close friends. I keep my personal life in quiet. Share with family only.


I had my 2nd baby!!!!

Wed Jan 3 8:21 PM by MFS in Pregnancy & Parenting

OMG BABY!



I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.


on being semi-pregnant

Tue Oct 3 7:18 PM by geldofc in Pregnancy & Parenting

congratulations!! i've never been pregnant but i'm jealous. i'm having baby fever lately.


kids' mail subscriptions

Wed Jan 9 6:41 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

We got the first box last week. Kid wanted to do the whole thing in one sitting, which was tough. He has a hard time stopping something, even when it's obvious he needs a break. He doesn't have the best conception of time yet either and kept talking about the box that would come tomorrow. So getting something once a month might help pin down the passage of time. As far as my concerns, we had a great opportunity (when he was disappointed that the Europe page didn't say anything about Finland) to talk about how a single page on a whole continent or even an individual country can't tell us what a place and culture is like. Bavaria was mentioned, so we also got to talk about how our German friend feels when people only think of Bavarian things when thinking of Germany, which she doesn't feel a connection to.


housemates + newborn = ?

Thu Aug 2 11:57 AM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

I live with my in-laws, and while there will certainly be a lot of differences from your situation, maybe there's enough similarities that my experience could be useful to you. I think the biggest thing is that everyone has their own space. Our house is sort of divided in two, so we can take the kid to our end during a tantrum. I think that distance helps, not just with in-laws not wanting to hear screaming, but as a sort of physical signal for the kid to calm down. We lived in an apartment when the kid was first born and our neighbors there probably heard more screaming/crying due to proximity.



My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.


My Ectopic Pregnancy

Tue Jan 23 8:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

FYI we have a general culture in the pregnancy forum here about sharing similar stories as a way to offer support, and also about giving any medical knowledge that we've come across, since pregnancy is generally not talked about as much as it should be and you find information in random places. Since you haven't been around until now you probably didn't know that, and mels' post is well in line with forum guidelines and norms. Please don't go all mod martyr on us now that you're only just back. This is me as a friend speaking here, not with my modhat on.



I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.



PPD is awful too. :( I hope you can get through it.


gender recognition

Thu Nov 2 1:03 PM by Nech in Pregnancy & Parenting


You can continue discussing with him the difference of a boy and a girl. Have him socialize too with the same gender. There's nothing wrong if you have go with opposite sex as long as he understands what/who he is.


So do you feel hanging out with the opposite gender at a young age can confuse a person's gender identity?


leftist parenting and gender [split from gender recognition]

Sat Sep 23 11:52 AM by Unvoiced_Apollo in Pregnancy & Parenting


gender recognition.">



If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.



What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.



Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.


This is just my anecdotal experience but...



I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.