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It's time to talk about Naegele's Rule... I'm so excited!
This is the guideline that we've used for hundreds of years to calculate due dates. It's what tells us that pregnancy is 40 weeks long. I am obsessed with due dates. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I dove deep (way too deep) into the question of whether due dates are accurate or not. I read studies, I got in debates, I launched a giant survey to ask women if their babies are early or late.
What I learned is that due dates are actually pretty good. I mean, very few babies actually arrive on their due dates, but 40 weeks is a good stab at the average. Most babies are born within a week of their due date, that's why we like to talk about pregnancy lasting "40 weeks". Your due date is in the middle of the days where you're most likely to go into labor.
But that's all it is... a likely day, and an average. That means half of all babies are born before their due date, half after it.
This brings me to Spacefem's Ninth Commandment of Pregnancy: don't think of your due date as a cliff with an edge, think of it as the top of the hill. You're incredibly likely to go into labor at 40 weeks, 1 day. Lots of women do. When your due date approaches, I like to say you're riding the top of a curve... and you stay on top of it for several days.
If you hit 41-42 weeks, you're officially, statistically, late. Your doctor probably has a plan. But if you hit 40 weeks, do not freak out. And make sure everyone around you knows you plan to not freak out. For distant relatives and coworkers, don't even tell them your due date, just say "mid-June" and leave it at that. You don't want them driving you crazy with the "had that baby yet?" questions every ten minutes! You can even tack days onto your due date, tell them it's later than it is, so they won't know you've gone over.
The more mentally ready you are to go past your due date, the better you'll feel about it. And if you don't go over, you'll be pleasantly surprised. It just works out great.
My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.
I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.
PPD is awful too.
When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity
I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.
Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.
It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.
I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).
I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it.
I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.
If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.
What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.
Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.
This is just my anecdotal experience but...
I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.