Spacefem's Weekly Wikipedia Pregnancy Blog: 30 weeks pregnant

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This week's articles

Month Week Day Article
6 30W,0D 210Apgar score
6 30W,1D 211List of most popular given names
6 30W,2D 212List of biblical names
6 30W,3D 213Parenting (magazine)
7 30W,4D 214Prodromal labor
7 30W,5D 215Kick chart
7 30W,6D 216Pelvic bone width

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I thought postpartum depression was such an important topic but wanted to post a story from someone with firsthand experience. So the following is written by a wonderful writer/mom named Jannine who I found on one of my online birth clubs. I hope this story helps some people because it's very powerful.

My pregnancy was healthy and uneventful, most of the time I felt great. My daughter's birth however, was very eventful, and it wasn't until way later that I figured out that her birth was a bit traumatic. While I was glad that she came out healthy and I thought at first that was all that mattered, I came to realize later that it had a lot to do with my PPD. I was considered "late" although my due date kept changing. I was being monitored and the doctors did not like how the baby's heartbeat was going so they decided to induce me. I knew nothing of induction, what it entailed or how it felt. I ended up spending one full night on a laboring bed, which was very uncomfortable, wasn't allowed to drink or eat, and got very little sleep...the next day , I was given pitocin, which was extremely painful, made me shake, sweat and want to vomit. After getting to 5 cm, I asked for an epi, was able to take a nap... and thought that I was still going to give a vaginal birth. I got to 10 cms, and began to push, but nothing happened. Mia was never engaged into my pelvis. After almost 2 days of being in the hospital, we decided to have a c-section. I was disappointed but at the time I just wanted it all to be over. The surgery itself, was quick, and I got to hold Mia right away.

The days afterwards in the hospital were surreal, I was learning how to be a mother, and battling with my body to heal. I was very uncomfortable, and in a lot of pain, I was scared about having the surgery because as a massage therapist your core muscles are very important to the job. I kept asking doctors how I was supposed to recover, and they just told me to walk and exercise when I felt like it. What I felt like is that I had been hit by a truck. I was not prepared for abdominal surgery and then part of my recovery was being handed a baby, which no book can tell you how to care for. I thought I was okay with having a c-section, but looking back now I was very scared that I wasn't going to heal correctly.

I also had a lot of trouble breastfeeding, it was hard to hold Mia for long periods of time, because of how much pain I was in, and how hot it was in the summer of 2010 in CT. No one discussed how hard breastfeeding can be, how your milk doesn't come in right away, how much it hurts, how positions can be uncomfortable. It was something I was very anxious about. Thankfully she went from breast to bottle easily and I was able to supplement with formula.

After four months of breastfeeding I finally gave up, I hated doing it, and I felt like I wasn't recovering from my c-section, it was as if my body couldn't do two things at once. She went of formula until she began to eat solid foods at 6 months. Once I stopped breastfeeding, I would say that most serious symptoms of PPD began to come to light.

I do have a history of depression and anxiety. At the time that I got pregnant I was coming out of a bout of depression but I was feeling pretty good, I was in school for massage therapy, and my marriage was pretty strong, I was very excited to have my first child. I am sure that my previous history might have been a risk factor, but I really think it had a lot to do with how I was treated after surgery. Many people seem to think that just because a c-section results in a baby that it isn't a big deal. C-sections are major surgery, and most people are laid up in bed for weeks after something like that, a hernia, or broken leg, seem to get more sympathy then a c-section. I had no idea how to take care of myself and no one seemed to have any answers. I now know that there are surgery/belly bands that I could have worn to help deal with the pressure and pain, and help me recover faster, but I was never told anything about that, I could only walk down a flight a stairs once a day. I could't drive. I stayed with my parents for 2 weeks, but after that, I was alone and isolated for pretty much most of the day, in our apartment till my husband came home. I couldn't lift the stroller to go for a walk, there were days I could barely stand or sit upright. I kept wondering if I was doing something wrong. My OB/GYN screwed up the paperwork and thought I had a vaginal delivery so I wasn't checked out right away until 6 weeks afterwards. I was so scared that I was going to damage myself that I did the complete wrong thing which was to sit down a lot, when I really should have been moving around. I kept hearing stories about other women having c-sections and they seemed to be healing fine with no trouble breast feeding. So there I was alone, sore, scared, with a baby to take care of, feeling like a breastfeeding failure.

We moved into a bigger apartment, and I was starting to feel better physically, but after I stopped breastfeeding I became a wreck, I just felt that I was a failure because I could not recover fast enough. I would cry a lot, and get have huge bouts of anger, and yell at my husband. After some time I spoke to him and said that I needed some help. And he was able to find a therapist that I could go see. At the time I was very anti-medication, but feeling like I wasn't getting better, I decided to go ahead and go on Lexapro. It was life-changing. A lot of the weight that I had been carrying seemed to be lifted, and I was able to put things in perspective. I was finally able to heal physically and mentally from having a c-section. I was also able to go outside more, and I had stated actually working as a Massage Therapist, this helped relieve a lot of my isolation.

No one really did anything specifically wrong, but again I think a lot of people underestimate how hard it is on a women's body to have a c-section, and then take care of a baby. It was an unnatural process, and I think it affected a lot of things that otherwise would not been affected if I had a natural birth. I felt like because the baby was healthy, that everyone around me thought that everything came out alright. But I actually wasn't alright at all, I was in a lot of pain. There were days I could barely walk, getting up from playing on the floor with Mia, was extremely painful, I felt slow, and damaged. I felt that there was something wrong with me because I could not seem to recover. I felt like I wasn't being a good, productive mother, because I couldn't seem to effectively breastfeed, recover from surgery, and have a full dinner on the table when my husband came home from. People seemed to down play my surgery a lot and just tell me that it will all pass and that I would feel myself again, but I did not feel like myself at all. My body felt alien to me. I felt like I had no right to complain or ask for help, because Mia was healthy, and if other women could recover, that I should just suck it up and do it too. Mostly I thought that no one would understand if I told them..and I am not really sure that the people around me would have.

My advice would be for people not to downplay any woman's labor experience. Just because a healthy baby was the outcome, doesn't mean that the mother had to go through something unexpected or traumatic to get there. Since signs of depression are different for each individual, it is hard to say what to look for, but if a woman seems to be going a long time, without showering, eating, crying all the time, intense anger, then this is more then just "baby blues". If a woman tells you they need help and feels overwhelmed to take them seriously.

To women giving birth no matter, how it comes out, I would say to take it easy on yourself. Having a baby is life-changing and overwhelming. There are hormonal changes, body changes, and lifestyle changes, that no one can really describe to you until you go through it. Many women seem to feel that they have to do everything all at once, as well as to get back to their pre-pregnancy body as fast as they can, and they feel that they need to do it alone. This puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on a women's mental health. Don't worry so much about your weight, let the dishes be dirty for a while, order takeout, and ease into the role of motherhood rather then try to sprint to some imaginary finish line. Ask for help, and if you do not receive it keep asking or trying until you get it. Do not let anyone dismiss your feelings. Surround yourself with women that have gone through it and ask for advice, and know that your not alone.

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Recent Comments

For more support, encouragement, Q&A, you are invited to join our pregnancy forum. We are dedicated to answering complicated questions as logically as we possibly can.

Fundraising for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Wed Aug 14 5:27 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

Great job making your goal and helping out your teammate reach hers.

kids' mail subscriptions

Wed Jan 9 6:41 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

We got the first box last week. Kid wanted to do the whole thing in one sitting, which was tough. He has a hard time stopping something, even when it's obvious he needs a break. He doesn't have the best conception of time yet either and kept talking about the box that would come tomorrow. So getting something once a month might help pin down the passage of time. As far as my concerns, we had a great opportunity (when he was disappointed that the Europe page didn't say anything about Finland) to talk about how a single page on a whole continent or even an individual country can't tell us what a place and culture is like. Bavaria was mentioned, so we also got to talk about how our German friend feels when people only think of Bavarian things when thinking of Germany, which she doesn't feel a connection to.

housemates + newborn = ?

Thu Aug 2 11:57 AM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

I live with my in-laws, and while there will certainly be a lot of differences from your situation, maybe there's enough similarities that my experience could be useful to you. I think the biggest thing is that everyone has their own space. Our house is sort of divided in two, so we can take the kid to our end during a tantrum. I think that distance helps, not just with in-laws not wanting to hear screaming, but as a sort of physical signal for the kid to calm down. We lived in an apartment when the kid was first born and our neighbors there probably heard more screaming/crying due to proximity.

My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.

My Ectopic Pregnancy

Tue Jan 23 8:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

FYI we have a general culture in the pregnancy forum here about sharing similar stories as a way to offer support, and also about giving any medical knowledge that we've come across, since pregnancy is generally not talked about as much as it should be and you find information in random places. Since you haven't been around until now you probably didn't know that, and mels' post is well in line with forum guidelines and norms. Please don't go all mod martyr on us now that you're only just back. This is me as a friend speaking here, not with my modhat on.

I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.

PPD is awful too. :( I hope you can get through it.

When do you outsource parenting?

Sat Oct 14 7:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

yeah I do a ton of supplemental history... :(

learning to read

Wed May 22 8:34 PM by Nachos in Pregnancy & Parenting

Late to the party, sorry.

When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity :)

How important is school?

Thu Nov 22 9:05 PM by Skeezy in Pregnancy & Parenting

I think the most important factor in any school is how much the teachers care about the students. Another important element is safety and how interactions between students can substract from learning. Many parents go to jail for quite lengthy sentences for trying to send to their kids to a safe good school.

I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.

Unplanned, polyamorous pregnancy situation

Sun Apr 29 12:18 PM by metawidget in Pregnancy & Parenting

I'm glad you have been communicating and working things out. I wish you lots of health and love as you wrote the next chapter of this story.

I might be pregnant...

Fri Jan 5 3:16 AM by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting

Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.

It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.

I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).

on being semi-pregnant

Tue Oct 3 7:18 PM by geldofc in Pregnancy & Parenting

congratulations!! i've never been pregnant but i'm jealous. i'm having baby fever lately.

Sleep for babies after 6 months

Thu Jan 10 1:30 AM by Sonic# in Pregnancy & Parenting

Thank you for the stories. I try not to get caught up in comparisons, but it's so hard when someone else is like, "Oh yeah, they're sleeping through the night after six months, no problem!" and we're nudging each other when it's our turn to get up at night almost every night. Did I do something wrong? (The answer is probably no, but a lack of sleep makes it harder to get there mentally.)

I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it. :)

How the 2nd pregnancy / labor was different from the first

Thu Sep 27 8:20 PM by antfancier in Pregnancy & Parenting

I haven’t been around for a long time, but I’m back and pregnant again. Only 6 weeks, so I can’t really comment much, but this time around it has been easier so far. Not easy, but considering I’m working and have a 2.5yr old (neither of which applied to last pregnancy), I thought I’d feel much worse. I still have ALL the symptoms and they all started at 3 weeks, just like last time (and the same as a chemical pregnancy I had too) but they don’t seem to be as constant as before. I’m really glad about that! The only thing that’s worse is back ache, ligament pain, general body aches. I assume it’s because my body is already exhausted and broken from my toddler.

posting pictures of kids and privacy

Wed Apr 25 7:29 AM by juliabonl17 in Pregnancy & Parenting

Usually, we don't share photos of our children in social media. Sometimes I can send some photos to close friends. I keep my personal life in quiet. Share with family only.

I had my 2nd baby!!!!

Wed Jan 3 8:21 PM by MFS in Pregnancy & Parenting


I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.

leftist parenting and gender [split from gender recognition]

Sat Sep 23 11:52 AM by Unvoiced_Apollo in Pregnancy & Parenting

gender recognition.">

If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.

What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.

Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.

This is just my anecdotal experience but...

I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.