<-- Back to week 30 | On to week 32 -->
It's interesting that there's an article about Men's role in childbirth. My husband, usually laughy and jokey and such a dork, was a rock for me when my daughter was born. He reminded me to breath. He rubbed my back. He didn't sit down or eat or even go to the bathroom for like eight hours straight... when I asked him about that later he didn't even know how he managed to pull that one off.
I'm a book reader, and read up on lots of labor techniques, but he's really not so I'm glad we took that hospital class. When I was actually in labor everything I read went out the window. I was doing whatever Marc and that nurse told me to. The simple stuff sounds so simple... breath deep, make low moaning noises, relax between contractions... but I seriously needed to be reminded of that stuff! My huge list of 100 affirmations for people to say to me during birth never did get pulled out, because I didn't need anything that complicated, I just needed my husband telling me to breath. To be honest, he could have told me to paint the hospital walls blue and I would have gone along with that, I was in no place to make decisions.
In pregnancy news, I think by this time the novelty of being visibly pregnant is starting to wear off, which is bad because there's a good chunk of time left to go. I was having the same conversation with five strangers a day... it went like this:
Random person: Oh, are we expecting?
Me, trying to copy enthusiasm even if it's hard work: Yessss.
Random person: When are you due?
Me: June 11.
Random person: Do you know what it is yet?
Me: A girl.
Random person: Have you picked out a name?
Me: Nope, we're pretty determined to wait until she's born.
Random person: You must be so excited!
And by that time I could usually find an excuse to run away. Incidentally, I tried shortening the conversation a few times, they'd ask the first question and I responded with, "Yup, mid-June, girl, no names yet, we're pretty excited." But that was unfortunate because then they didn't have anything to ask and just blank-stared at me, not knowing where to go. They don't ask, "So what else are you up to?" or anything. Because when you're pregnant you're apparently not supposed to be up to ANYTHING but incubating.
My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.
I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.
PPD is awful too.
When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity
I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.
Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.
It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.
I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).
I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it.
I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.
If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.
What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.
Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.
This is just my anecdotal experience but...
I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.