Spacefem's Weekly Wikipedia Pregnancy Blog: 35 weeks pregnant

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This week's articles

Month Week Day Article
8 35W,0D 245Failure to thrive
8 35W,1D 246Co-sleeping
8 35W,2D 247Oxytocin
8 35W,3D 248Parenting styles
8 35W,4D 249John Braxton Hicks
8 35W,5D 250Parental leave
8 35W,6D 251Post-maturity syndrome

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The baby feels big. Sometimes I see little bulges on my stomach where baby parts are stretching out, sometimes a whole side of me is pushed out and harder, totally uneven, and I wonder if I'm feeling a whole body pressed up against the side needing more room. One of us is moving all the time... when I'm walking around, I don't notice her, I think she's tucked in and happy, but when I sit down she stretches out and wants to be seen. And when I lay down, she moves around to find a good position, and when I flip over, she moves around again based on that. It's weird. It's good that it's all been so gradual, otherwise it'd totally freak me out.

Scientifically speaking, I've decided that any anxiety about childbirth is eased by the increasing discomfort and weirdness of pregnancy. You're supposed to look forward to delivery, supposed to feel unintimidated by it, supposed to feel like it's the right thing to happen. Sometimes when I'm seeing all this baby movement I get this little twinge of feeling like, "Okay hon, you're a person. You're supposed to be out on your own like the rest of us, eating your food, wearing clothes, looking around." Those little twinges get longer and closer together every day. It won't be long until I feel strongly like it's time to evict the child, and then giving birth will seem like the most right thing in the world. When I got pregnant I remember telling the guys at work that I felt weird about it, there wasn't some magic womanhood part of me that made me feel like it was normal to let something inside me grow to 7-9 pounds and work its way out, I was completely freaked to be honest... but maybe the magic part of my brain was there all along? Or it didn't have to be so magic anyway.

I have some tips about maternity leave. I don't know if everyone reading this is American, but I am, so I apologize if this post doesn't apply globaly.

Here are my tips for working moms who plan on taking leave:
1) Research your company's policies, including ALL options for extending time off and what you can use (vacation, sick leave, time unpaid). You may not need any more time than the standard six weeks but then again you might. Know what you can do.

2) Talk to your company's HR department about what forms to fill out before, during, and after your leave. I talked with my supervisor about this and he wasn't very familiar with the procedures, sorry to say. Use as many resources as possible to get this sorted out. Talking to another woman who's taken maternity leave is a pretty good idea too.

3) Overestimate what you might need. I told my boss I was going to take eight weeks, but then when the end of six weeks came around I asked if I could come back for half days to "get out of the house". He was all for it... better than not having me at all! But as a rule my company HATES the idea of part-time work, even if I had vacation to cover the missing 20 hours, people were shocked that I was "allowed" to do this. It worked just fine. It was tough to actually get out of the office four hours after arriving, but I always had that option and that was nice. Transitioning back also made pumping breast milk a million times easier, because I didn't need a ton of milk in the fridge just to leave the baby for four hours.

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Recent Comments

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Fundraising for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Wed Aug 14 5:27 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

Great job making your goal and helping out your teammate reach hers.


kids' mail subscriptions

Wed Jan 9 6:41 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

We got the first box last week. Kid wanted to do the whole thing in one sitting, which was tough. He has a hard time stopping something, even when it's obvious he needs a break. He doesn't have the best conception of time yet either and kept talking about the box that would come tomorrow. So getting something once a month might help pin down the passage of time. As far as my concerns, we had a great opportunity (when he was disappointed that the Europe page didn't say anything about Finland) to talk about how a single page on a whole continent or even an individual country can't tell us what a place and culture is like. Bavaria was mentioned, so we also got to talk about how our German friend feels when people only think of Bavarian things when thinking of Germany, which she doesn't feel a connection to.


housemates + newborn = ?

Thu Aug 2 11:57 AM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

I live with my in-laws, and while there will certainly be a lot of differences from your situation, maybe there's enough similarities that my experience could be useful to you. I think the biggest thing is that everyone has their own space. Our house is sort of divided in two, so we can take the kid to our end during a tantrum. I think that distance helps, not just with in-laws not wanting to hear screaming, but as a sort of physical signal for the kid to calm down. We lived in an apartment when the kid was first born and our neighbors there probably heard more screaming/crying due to proximity.



My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.


My Ectopic Pregnancy

Tue Jan 23 8:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

FYI we have a general culture in the pregnancy forum here about sharing similar stories as a way to offer support, and also about giving any medical knowledge that we've come across, since pregnancy is generally not talked about as much as it should be and you find information in random places. Since you haven't been around until now you probably didn't know that, and mels' post is well in line with forum guidelines and norms. Please don't go all mod martyr on us now that you're only just back. This is me as a friend speaking here, not with my modhat on.



I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.



PPD is awful too. :( I hope you can get through it.


When do you outsource parenting?

Sat Oct 14 7:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

yeah I do a ton of supplemental history... :(


learning to read

Wed May 22 8:34 PM by Nachos in Pregnancy & Parenting

Late to the party, sorry.



When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity :)


How important is school?

Thu Nov 22 9:05 PM by Skeezy in Pregnancy & Parenting

I think the most important factor in any school is how much the teachers care about the students. Another important element is safety and how interactions between students can substract from learning. Many parents go to jail for quite lengthy sentences for trying to send to their kids to a safe good school.



I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.


Unplanned, polyamorous pregnancy situation

Sun Apr 29 12:18 PM by metawidget in Pregnancy & Parenting

I'm glad you have been communicating and working things out. I wish you lots of health and love as you wrote the next chapter of this story.


I might be pregnant...

Fri Jan 5 3:16 AM by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting


Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.

It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.


I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).


on being semi-pregnant

Tue Oct 3 7:18 PM by geldofc in Pregnancy & Parenting

congratulations!! i've never been pregnant but i'm jealous. i'm having baby fever lately.


Sleep for babies after 6 months

Thu Jan 10 1:30 AM by Sonic# in Pregnancy & Parenting

Thank you for the stories. I try not to get caught up in comparisons, but it's so hard when someone else is like, "Oh yeah, they're sleeping through the night after six months, no problem!" and we're nudging each other when it's our turn to get up at night almost every night. Did I do something wrong? (The answer is probably no, but a lack of sleep makes it harder to get there mentally.)



I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it. :)


How the 2nd pregnancy / labor was different from the first

Thu Sep 27 8:20 PM by antfancier in Pregnancy & Parenting

I haven’t been around for a long time, but I’m back and pregnant again. Only 6 weeks, so I can’t really comment much, but this time around it has been easier so far. Not easy, but considering I’m working and have a 2.5yr old (neither of which applied to last pregnancy), I thought I’d feel much worse. I still have ALL the symptoms and they all started at 3 weeks, just like last time (and the same as a chemical pregnancy I had too) but they don’t seem to be as constant as before. I’m really glad about that! The only thing that’s worse is back ache, ligament pain, general body aches. I assume it’s because my body is already exhausted and broken from my toddler.


posting pictures of kids and privacy

Wed Apr 25 7:29 AM by juliabonl17 in Pregnancy & Parenting

Usually, we don't share photos of our children in social media. Sometimes I can send some photos to close friends. I keep my personal life in quiet. Share with family only.


I had my 2nd baby!!!!

Wed Jan 3 8:21 PM by MFS in Pregnancy & Parenting

OMG BABY!



I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.


leftist parenting and gender [split from gender recognition]

Sat Sep 23 11:52 AM by Unvoiced_Apollo in Pregnancy & Parenting


gender recognition.">



If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.



What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.



Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.


This is just my anecdotal experience but...



I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.