This week I had a cervical exam and the doctor said I was starting to dilate... about 1cm. My husband whispered to me, "Does that mean the baby can see out?"
What would I do without him?
For the record, I felt totally okay refusing about every other cervical check the doctors planned for me. I read online that half the reason doctors do it is to make patients feel like there's progress happening, if they say "You're more dialated!" you'll get all this confidence. But if you can just convince yourself that your cervix probably works just fine, you don't need that.
I just don't feel like I need anything unnecessary done to me. Cervical dilation tells you nothing about when the baby's coming. There are slight risks of infection any time anything is in your vagina, especially when it goes through vagina TO cervix (your body is pushing bacteria the other way).
My doctor does them every week starting at 36 weeks. I asked her why, I said if there was a good reason I'd get one. She acted like no one had ever really questioned it before. But it wasn't a problem, we could skip it. So we did.
One of this week's articles is about jaundice in newborns... something I came way too close to dealing with. As it turns out, it's incredibly common, and we were incredibly unprepared to deal with it. Jo was born on a Wednesday, sent home on Thursday. By Saturday my milk was in. She slept well Saturday night, like, oddly well. Then she slept Sunday. I mean, she slept... nursed around 9am but when we tried to wake her up to eat at 1 she was too lethargic. She just kept sleeping. We tried again at 4pm... same story. At that point I freaked. We even tried putting a cold washcloth on her, she yelled, and then went right back to sleep. There'd been no dirty diapers all day.
So since it was Sunday our only option was immediate care. It was a horrible experience. They took blood from her again to check her bilirubin count, they threatened to do a spinal tap to check for infection, we were completely losing it... then out of no where she decided to wake up and EAT.
Newborns are just so scary.
We were sent home after that, with instructions to lay her in a sunny window for 15 minutes twice a day. If I have another baby, I'm planning to start that regime even earlier. Josie's skin was just a little peachy, it wasn't full-blown jaundice, but that one day was the lowest point we ever had with her.
My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.
I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.
PPD is awful too.
When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity
I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.
Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.
It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.
I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).
I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it.
I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.
If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.
What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.
Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.
This is just my anecdotal experience but...
I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.