Spacefem's Weekly Wikipedia Pregnancy Blog: 4 weeks pregnant

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This week's articles

Month Week Day Article
0 4W,0D 28Yolk sac
0 4W,1D 29Estrogen
0 4W,2D 30Jane Denton
1 4W,3D 31Acupuncture
1 4W,4D 32Listeriosis
1 4W,5D 33Pregnancy (mammals)
1 4W,6D 34Rosalind Paget

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I'll be honest, I hated week 4. It's just bad memories. I was 31 days pregnant when I took that fateful pregnancy test and it was positive... and I FREAKED. Oh sure everything turned out super skippy (obviously, it's a blog now!) but at the time I wasn't so sure. First of all, we'd been trying long enough that I sort of had it in my head that we were just "trying", that was my mode, it sounds stupid but I didn't know I'd actually BE PREGNANT. "Trying" is just something you do on evenings and weekends. Pregnancy leads to a life-altering baby, you'll never be the same! Call me crazy but it's hard to cope with life changes when you like your life as it is.

Anyway what's in Wikipedia for us this week?

Listeriosis is the reason you are not supposed to eat deli meat while you're pregnant. It's rare, but when it comes up it tends to be in soft cheese, chilled or raw meats, and unpasteurized milk. I don't know about you but I love deli meats and this was a big deal for me to give up. YES you can cook them up and kill whatever badness might be there, but who has the time? I just wanted to go to Subway on my lunch break. I still went, but by the end of my pregnancy I was really sick of meatball subs.

I was eating lunch out with some ladies from work once, all moms, and they'd all ordered something involving cold cuts so I commented about how I couldn't wait to not be pregnant so I could have a club sandwich too. They all looked at me like I was nuts. Apparently they'd all cranked out tons of kids while eating all the deli meat they wanted, none of them had ever heard it was HORRIBLY DANGEROUS. Somehow all those babies turned out just fine. It was one of those "how did we all survive?" moments, sigh.

Which brings me to my first pregnancy commandment:

Relax


Really. There isn't much you can do to completely mess up your child right now... those opportunities won't really show up for years. Nature is truly meant to run its course right now. Even your doctor will tell you that... if your doctor tells you anything at all. My doctor told me she didn't need to see me until I hit the 8-week mark... and even then, it wasn't to do anything, it was just to draw some blood and test me for a laundry list of diseases that might affect things down the road.

The media will try to make you freak out about eating non-organic fruit or washing your face with the wrong soap or crossing the street to the south while the wind was west on a Tuesday, but after thousands of years of having babies, we know most of the things that mess them up, new research is not revolutionizing anything.

This brings me to my billboard theory. When I first got pregnant, I noticed like five billboards around town telling me not to smoke or drink while pregnant. Well, duh, everyone knows that. It's obvious, it's been proven... and look, there's a BILLBOARD reminding me. I can't miss it! Suddenly I wasn't worried about missing some tiny article about how western tree snapes harm pregnant women... if something is really truly important to me, I will not be able to miss it, because that stuff shows up on billboards for heaven's sake.

Just a little thought to help me rest easier at night... which I really needed.

<-- Back to week 3 | On to week 5 -->

Recent Comments

For more support, encouragement, Q&A, you are invited to join our pregnancy forum. We are dedicated to answering complicated questions as logically as we possibly can.

learning to read

Sat Feb 2 11:42 AM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

Spacefem, thanks for the book suggestions.

Sonic, I like the way you described the sound a letter makes.



I asked a few early elementary school teachers I know this same question and wanted to share a bit of what they had to say.

They recommended starting with consonant-vowel-consonant words (CVC) with short vowel sounds, and focus on rhyming families (i.e. bat, cat, fat) and even including first consonant changes that don't make real words, like 'gat'. Then later introduce CVC with last letter changes (i.e. bad, bar, bat). They said we could try sight words at the same time and told me to do a search for the Fry sight word list.

After those CVC words aren't a problem, it was suggested to start adding an 'e' at the end of CVC words to change the vowel sound, an the meaning of the words, so introducing long vowels (i.e. cap->cape). Then after all that, we can start adding two consonants together and two vowels together. From there maybe come up with homonyms together, which can be a great way to introduce silent letters (i.e. new, knew).


How important is school?

Thu Nov 22 9:05 PM by Skeezy in Pregnancy & Parenting

I think the most important factor in any school is how much the teachers care about the students. Another important element is safety and how interactions between students can substract from learning. Many parents go to jail for quite lengthy sentences for trying to send to their kids to a safe good school.



I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.


Unplanned, polyamorous pregnancy situation

Sun Apr 29 12:18 PM by metawidget in Pregnancy & Parenting

I'm glad you have been communicating and working things out. I wish you lots of health and love as you wrote the next chapter of this story.


I might be pregnant...

Fri Jan 5 3:16 AM by Aum in Pregnancy & Parenting


Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.

It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.


I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).


When do you outsource parenting?

Sat Oct 14 7:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

yeah I do a ton of supplemental history... :(


Sleep for babies after 6 months

Thu Jan 10 1:30 AM by Sonic# in Pregnancy & Parenting

Thank you for the stories. I try not to get caught up in comparisons, but it's so hard when someone else is like, "Oh yeah, they're sleeping through the night after six months, no problem!" and we're nudging each other when it's our turn to get up at night almost every night. Did I do something wrong? (The answer is probably no, but a lack of sleep makes it harder to get there mentally.)



I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it. :)


How the 2nd pregnancy / labor was different from the first

Thu Sep 27 8:20 PM by antfancier in Pregnancy & Parenting

I haven’t been around for a long time, but I’m back and pregnant again. Only 6 weeks, so I can’t really comment much, but this time around it has been easier so far. Not easy, but considering I’m working and have a 2.5yr old (neither of which applied to last pregnancy), I thought I’d feel much worse. I still have ALL the symptoms and they all started at 3 weeks, just like last time (and the same as a chemical pregnancy I had too) but they don’t seem to be as constant as before. I’m really glad about that! The only thing that’s worse is back ache, ligament pain, general body aches. I assume it’s because my body is already exhausted and broken from my toddler.


posting pictures of kids and privacy

Wed Apr 25 7:29 AM by juliabonl17 in Pregnancy & Parenting

Usually, we don't share photos of our children in social media. Sometimes I can send some photos to close friends. I keep my personal life in quiet. Share with family only.


I had my 2nd baby!!!!

Wed Jan 3 8:21 PM by MFS in Pregnancy & Parenting

OMG BABY!



I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.


on being semi-pregnant

Tue Oct 3 7:18 PM by geldofc in Pregnancy & Parenting

congratulations!! i've never been pregnant but i'm jealous. i'm having baby fever lately.


kids' mail subscriptions

Wed Jan 9 6:41 PM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

We got the first box last week. Kid wanted to do the whole thing in one sitting, which was tough. He has a hard time stopping something, even when it's obvious he needs a break. He doesn't have the best conception of time yet either and kept talking about the box that would come tomorrow. So getting something once a month might help pin down the passage of time. As far as my concerns, we had a great opportunity (when he was disappointed that the Europe page didn't say anything about Finland) to talk about how a single page on a whole continent or even an individual country can't tell us what a place and culture is like. Bavaria was mentioned, so we also got to talk about how our German friend feels when people only think of Bavarian things when thinking of Germany, which she doesn't feel a connection to.


housemates + newborn = ?

Thu Aug 2 11:57 AM by melsbells in Pregnancy & Parenting

I live with my in-laws, and while there will certainly be a lot of differences from your situation, maybe there's enough similarities that my experience could be useful to you. I think the biggest thing is that everyone has their own space. Our house is sort of divided in two, so we can take the kid to our end during a tantrum. I think that distance helps, not just with in-laws not wanting to hear screaming, but as a sort of physical signal for the kid to calm down. We lived in an apartment when the kid was first born and our neighbors there probably heard more screaming/crying due to proximity.



My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.


My Ectopic Pregnancy

Tue Jan 23 8:47 PM by rowan in Pregnancy & Parenting

FYI we have a general culture in the pregnancy forum here about sharing similar stories as a way to offer support, and also about giving any medical knowledge that we've come across, since pregnancy is generally not talked about as much as it should be and you find information in random places. Since you haven't been around until now you probably didn't know that, and mels' post is well in line with forum guidelines and norms. Please don't go all mod martyr on us now that you're only just back. This is me as a friend speaking here, not with my modhat on.



I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.



PPD is awful too. :( I hope you can get through it.


gender recognition

Thu Nov 2 1:03 PM by Nech in Pregnancy & Parenting


You can continue discussing with him the difference of a boy and a girl. Have him socialize too with the same gender. There's nothing wrong if you have go with opposite sex as long as he understands what/who he is.


So do you feel hanging out with the opposite gender at a young age can confuse a person's gender identity?


leftist parenting and gender [split from gender recognition]

Sat Sep 23 11:52 AM by Unvoiced_Apollo in Pregnancy & Parenting


gender recognition.">



If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.



What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.



Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.


This is just my anecdotal experience but...



I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.