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I probably shouldn't say this to the internet, but this was the week that I stopped reading the internet.
I had to, I was going insane! I had this weird pain in my shoulder, googled it, and found out that shoulder pain could be caused by internal bleeding from an ectopic pregnancy. Well that all didn't happen, I think I just slept on my shoulder wrong. But seriously watch what you read, because reading about symptoms is bad business when you're pregnant. You always end up at these long articles where page 1 is about how you're going to die, your baby is going to die, give up all hope now... then page 2 says "or maybe you have gas". AHHHH!
Someone told me that all this anxiety (and I swear, some of it must be hormonal) is just a precursor to get you ready for the rest of motherhood. You're wearing your heart outside... your heart. Currently it's in your uterus, and it only gets further away over the next few years. So these first few weeks of crazy are training for you to learn to relax. Do not take a pregnancy test every day. Do not stalk your doctor about your HCG levels.
Do call your mother. I was too anxious to put together a cutesy picture frame for the "future grandma!" like my friend did... Mom came over one Saturday and badgered me about "something is up with you! what is wrong?!" until I caved and broke out in tears like a bad court witness. I wanted to wait until I felt "emotionally stable" to tell her... well that doesn't work with mothers! THEY KNOW.
In fact, I added it to my top 9: talk to other women. So many millions of them understand. They know it doesn't have to be an instant celebration, they know you're scared, they know about the crazy hormones and the sleepless nights (or incredibly sleepy nights, either way). I had to break the news early to one of the hardest, strictest, no-nonesense women I've ever worked with... it was one of those "I'm sorry, and this is no excuse I know, but I'm pregnant..." speeches. She just said "Awwwwe", just melted, told me everything was going to be okay and she was totally there for me whatever I needed. It was so wonderful.
I decided, and for good reason, to tell as few people as possible until first trimester was over, so I'd know if this would really stick or not. I still think that's a good decision. But do tell someone. That dear man who got you pregnant is, hate to say it, a man. He doesn't go through this. He's lived his entire life knowing that he'll never have to go through this. You've got to talk to women, women who've had babies... they know.
My father-in-law spends a lot of time with the kid, mostly by choice. I sometimes wish we had more of a schedule, because at the moment, naps and bedtime are the only semi-guaranteed breaks for anyone. My spouse and father-in-law both work from home free-lance, so they don't actually have a schedule for when they need to be left alone, but at least my father-in-law has more warning with jobs scheduled out in advance.
I'm sorry for your loss. Ectopic pregnancies are scary, and I would like to go punch that first doctor in the face for you.
PPD is awful too.
When I worked in a biligual Kita, the kids picked up loads from simply being read to and pointing out the different things. Sometimes a question came up ("that is a pferd", "it's called horse in English", "ok horse") and it's good to know both languages to understand what the kid is saying, but reading is a good together activity
I would say its very important, because what you learn shapes and molds yours views that make you who you are.
Aum, my partner and I were just discussing this. He was surprised by my taking the hard line that stopping BC or poking holes in condoms or something like that is rape, making the woman a rapist. Which should result in jail time, so she should lose custody, which should go to the father and now he has the choice of keeping the baby or putting them up for adoption.
It's unfortunate that you can't prove such a thing, but hopefully if it was actually taken seriously women would be less likely to do it because it would at least be explicitly called rape.
I understand how the justice system and the family courts would look at it. They see it as the man's sperm made it to the egg so somehow he wasn't protecting himself, he made the choice, yada yada. There's no way to prove that the woman was manipulative, withdrew BC, or "poked holes in the condom" (I think that's unheard of, but anyway).
I topped baby off tonight. He straight up drank 7 ounces of formula after his prunes. If he's an infiltrator, he's eating well for it.
I am still dealing with the fact that your 11 year old is an actual 11 year old.
If a boy who has a penis asks if he's a boy and you don't just say yes, then that's straight up lunacy.
What he decides to do with that boyhood or how he dresses is up to him. But if you're born with a penis you're a boy.
Making it airy fairy when, statistically, scientifically, less than 1% of 1% of children born have true gender dysphoria, is immoral and wrong. It's also a sign of our troubled times.
This is just my anecdotal experience but...
I have experienced bullying based on simply engaging in normal children's play with girls. Insults were attacks on both me and the girls. But I NEVER questioned my gender as a male. So if a child asks me if he's a boy and was identified biologically as one, I am going to question what influences are on the child before I answer.